Hadschi Halef Omar

Disclaimer: I own nothing

The last 3 weeks had been a nightmare. With all the meetings, budget cuts, and enough political scandals to last a lifetime, Matthew was glad to be home. His thoughts wandered as he drove the familiar route. All he wanted to do was slip into some sweatpants, his maple leaf hoodie, and zone out in front of the TV.

The thought of home brought a smile to his face as he pictured his husband of 3 years waiting for him, begging him to make some pancakes as soon as he walked through the door. His thoughts quickly shifted as he noticed 2 familiar vehicles parked in front of his house. One belonged to his brother-in-law, Ludwig, and the other belonging to Ivan. If those 2 were here that meant that Ludwig's fiancé, Feliciano, would be inside while Ivan's creepy little sister, Natalia, would be hiding somewhere in the bushes.

"So much for a quiet night at home" he thought as he pulled into the 2-car garage. "Oh well. This was to be expected I guess." He sighed as he got out of the car. As he unloaded his belongings, he heard the familiar sounds of furniture moving across the floor and muffled voices. He began to hear music as he moved closer to the back door, but it wasn't what his husband usually listened to on a daily basis.

Gilbert Beilschmidt was "awesome" and therefore only listened to "awesome music" like Rammstein or Disturbed. This, however, was neither of the aforementioned bands. Although he wouldn't be surprised if this was something Feliciano liked and the other 3 didn't have the heart to say no to the pasta loving Italian.

As he entered the kitchen, the noise level elevated and the music became stranger, complete with 2 drunken men singing along to the current song. He also noticed the disaster that was his kitchen. Empty beer bottles, red plastic cups, half-eaten plates of pasta, and 2 or 3 vodka bottles littered the table, countertops, and floor. He sighed as he realized it would take hours clean his once perfect kitchen. "There goes part of my vacation" he thought.

He was brought out of his musing as the song changed and the same 2 voices continued to sing along to the disco style music. He quickly figured out the song was in German because he clearly heard his husband singing at the top of his lungs and his brother-in-law was a little quieter, but not by much.

He quickly took his bags upstairs to his room then went into the living room to observe the chaos. As he entered he noticed Ivan sitting in the corner making out Alfred, the Canadian's little brother. Matthew was kind of surprised by their display but he vaguely remembered Al mentioning something about dating the strange Russian. He saw his future brother-in-law passed out on the couch leaning against his older, tomato loving brother who was fending off his Spanish lover. Every once in awhile, the Canadian caught him muttering something about the "potato bastard" and "brainwashing".

In the middle of the living room were his husband and brother-in-law singing and dancing to the current song. He noticed a few more empty bottles and plastic cups littering the floor and tables, but nowhere near as bad as the kitchen. He was startled back to reality as a pair of hands found his waist and he was spun around the room.

"Birdie! Your Home!" a very drunk Gilbert exclaimed. "Can you make me some pancakes now?" the silver-haired man asked, jumping around like an excited puppy.

"Not tonight, Gil. I'm kinda tired." The quiet blond said as he watched his lover's face fall. "I'll make you some tomorrow, okay?"

"Awesome" the Prussian agreed.

"What are we listening to?" Matt asked as the song changed again.

"An awesome band from the '70's called Dschingis Khan." Gil explained. "West has all their albums."

"I do not have all their albums." the blond man sputtered. "I only have a few."

"Whatever. Feli says you have more than a few. He counted at least 5." The albino teased.

"So what gave you the idea to have a party?" the Canadian asked.

"I was bored and you weren't home." Gil stated. "It was not awesome being stuck here by myself for 3 weeks so I invited West over. Naturally Feli came along as well. And that was okay till Lovino found out. He felt the need to tag along to protect his lil bro from a 'brainwashing potato bastard`." He exclaimed using air quotes. "Antonio came along cuz of Lovino and your brother invited himself and Ivan after he saw Feli in the grocery store." Gil said rolling his eyes at the last bit. "And I wouldn't be surprised if that creepy stalker Natalia is hiding in the bushes out front. I thought I saw her look in through the front window as we ate supper." The albino couldn't suppress the chill that ran up his spine as he looked out the front window.

When he looked away from the window, he noticed how tired his Canadian husband looked and pulled him into the kitchen for some privacy.

"Are you ok, Birdie? You don't look like yourself." He asked with concern.

"I'm fine, just exhausted. I think I'm gonna go to bed." The blond said, leaning in for a kiss.

"Ok, that's fine." The albino replied, breaking the kiss. "I'll kick everyone out then be up in a few."

"Hey, Mattie! When did you get back?" the self-proclaimed hero asked.

"About 30 minutes ago." Said man replied. "I'm getting ready to go to bed."

"Oh, ok. Well would it be cool if Ivan and I crashed here tonight?" The American asked. "I'm pretty sure Natalia followed us and I don't wanna leave after dark if she's around." He explained sheepishly.

"Not a problem." Matt replied. "Everything should still be there."

"Great. Thanks bro." The American said giving his brother a hug. "Come on, Ivan. I should have some pj's for you to wear." He said as he grabbed the Russian's hand and practically dragged him up the stairs.

"I think I'm gonna take Feli home." Ludwig stated as he entered the kitchen. "I'll be over tomorrow to help clean up the mess."

"Thanks, Ludwig" Matt said as they walked back into the living room. As they entered they noticed Lovino and Antonio playing a very intense game of tonsil hockey. Matthew noticed a tiny glint of light as it hit a silver band resting on a certain finger on the Southern Italian's left hand.

"Alright, break it up you 2." Gilbert said, startling the couple. "Is there something you forgot to mention, Toni?" he said, motioning towards the ring.

"Huh? Oh yeah." The Spaniard remembered. "Lovino and I are engaged." He announced proudly while Lovino turned bright red.

"Congratulations!" Gilbert said. The couple graciously accepted the best wishes but everyone was brought back to reality when Feli woke up.

"Doitsu?"

"What, Feli?" the German responded.

"I don't feel very good. My tummy hurts." The little Italian whined.

"We are getting ready to go home as it is. Where are your shoes?" he asked.

"I think I left them by the door."

"Ok, I'll get them for you." He said as he turned to his brother. "Do you have anything to ease his stomach? It's quite a drive."

"Yeah, let me got some tums." Matthew said as he left the room.

"How much did he drink tonight?" Gilbert asked.

"I think 2 shots of vodka. I'm not really sure. He said something earlier about drinking with Ivan." Ludwig responded, fixing his lover's shoes.

"If he drank with Ivan you better keep an eye on him. Make him drink a lot of water and make sure he pukes at least once. If not take him to the ER."Gil explained Matthew came back with a bottle of water and some tums. "The last time I drank with Ivan I ended up in the hospital with alcohol poisoning. It's was not fun." Gil said as his Canadian lover agreed with him.

"Would you like a bucket for the drive home? Just in case."

"Yeah better be on the safe side." Ludwig agreed.

"Do you mind driving home, Toni?" The German asked.

"Not a problem." The Spaniard responded, taking the keys. "Lovi and I will go start the car. Thanks for the party, Gilbert. It was a blast." He said as he walked out the door.

"Not a problem, Toni. Do you need any help getting Feli to the car?" the albino asked his brother.

"If you could get the doors for me and make sure I don't fall down the stairs." The blond man said as he lifted his semi conscious partner. The little Italian let out a whimper as his world shifted. "You're ok. I've got you." The blond murmured as he walked to the door. "It was nice to see you, Matthew. Have a good night."

"You too, Ludwig." The Canadian replied as he walked into the kitchen. Gilbert followed his brother out to the car and made sure Feliciano was safely placed in the backseat.

"Keep me posted and let me know if you need to take him to the ER." Gil said as he gave his brother a hug.

"I will. Night, Gil." The blond said as he climbed into the backseat. The silver-haired man stepped back from the car and waved as the car pulled away. He waited a few minutes before he turned and walked back to the house. As he neared the front porch he thought he saw a flash of blond hair in the light, but he just shrugged it off as he shut and locked the front door then turned off the porch light.

Matthew was lost in his thoughts as he started washing the dishes. He was half way through washing the plates when he felt a pair of arms circle his waist and a kiss on top of his head. "Hi, Gil."

"Wat'cha doin, Birdie?" he asked.

"Cleaning up your mess."

"You know the dishes can wait right? You need sleep. I can see your eyelids drooping." The albino pointed out. "Why don't you go upstairs and get ready for bed and I will be up shortly."

"Ok if you insist." The blond said as he turned to face his lover. Taking advantage of their proximity, Gilbert leaned in and captured the Canadian's lips in a slow kiss. The blond made a small noise in the back of his throat. Maple, how he missed this. The kiss was broken when they heard a door slam upstairs followed by the sounds of someone losing their stomach.

"Who else drank with Ivan?" Matt asked.

"Alfred. He said he had to be able to keep up with the Russian if their relationship was gonna last or some such bullshit." The albino replied.

"Good thing there are some extra toothbrushes and toothpaste in the guest bathroom." The blond mused. "I'll see you in a bit." He said and ran up the stairs as his husband watched with lust filled eyes. If only they had the house to themselves tonight. Gilbert sighed as he walked through the house shutting off lights and locking doors and windows as he went. He heard another door slam and muffled voices as he walked by the spare room, making a mental note to buy a hazmat suit before setting foot in that room. He didn't even wanna know what his brother-in-law and his Russian boyfriend were doing.

He quietly entered his room and smiled as he saw his husband face-planted in the middle of the bed, glasses and all. He quickly and quietly removed the glasses and shoes then carefully took off the blonds' pants and button-up shirt. He placed the laundry in the correct baskets and stepped into the connected bathroom and changed into a pair of flannel sleep pants. He turned off the light and padded to his side of the bed. He pulled his unconscious husband closer and placed a light kiss on his forehead and let sleep carry him to dream land.

"Alfred, please let me in." Ivan pleaded, knocking softly on the bathroom door. He was quickly answered by the sounds of vomiting. "Let me help you please." He heard the toilet flush and the door unlock. He quietly opened the door when he heard the faucet turn on. "Feeling better?"

"I'm never drinking with you again." The American replied. "I'm never touching vodka again." He said rinsing his mouth out with water.

"So you said last time." The Russian reminded him. "We go to bed now, da?"

"Da." Alfred let the Russian take his hand and lead him to bed. He smiled to himself as he was tucked in like a small child.

"What is so funny?" Ivan asked as he climbed into bed.

"I'm happy I've found you." Alfred replied as he snuggled against his tall lover and drifted off to sleep.

"Me too." The Russian said as he kissed the blonds' forehead and fell asleep.

Out front, hiding in the bushes, a young woman with blond hair was formulating a plan on how to become one with Russia. "One day, brother, you will be mine." She thought as she smiled creepily.