Disclaimer: Sadly, not mine and never will be.
It was a beautiful, sunny Friday afternoon when Tommy Lisbon skipped merrily along the footpath lining the luscious green lawns of the houses on his street. It was his best friends birthday and they had a little party for him at Tommy's private school a few blocks away.
He still fizzing with pride and excitement from winning the Simon Say's competition. He couldn't wait to tell Teresa, his sister, who had left school early because of a toothache. His other two brothers were at the big school.
He knew Teresa would put on her adult face and tell him that Simon Say's is a babies game and then their mother would frown at her slightly before smiling at Tommy telling him how proud she was of him.
He reached the white gate of his house and pushed it open with his foot, holding his balloon and his plastic lolly bag with both tiny hands.
He saw Teresa, her arms crossed still in her dark blue school skirt, stockings and blazer, waiting for him by the front door.
"Come with me," she ordered quietly turning into the house, her short ponytail swinging behind her.
Tommy skipped behind her obediently, ready to play whatever game his big sister had planned and wanted to share his lollies with her –but not the lolly teeth – those were his favourite.
Together they walked past the large living room, his balloon dragging across the ceiling. He noticed the room to be full of strange grown-ups surrounding his father who was sitting on the couch with his head resting in his hands as consoling hands patted his back.
Tommy thought maybe his dad had gotten a migrane and would have called out to him to ask but Tommy didn't want to have to talk to the strange grown ups in the room.
He hid behind Teresa shyly as they walked down the hallway to their bedrooms.
He followed Teresa into his own room. He sat on his bed watching his ballon bobble around in the air.
Teresa shut the door and turned to him looking serious and adult-like. Mummy always said that Teresa acted too much like a grown up.
"I have to tell you something that is going to make you feel very bad," she said. "So I think you should get into your pyjamas and get into bed and be ready for it so it wont hurt so much."
Tommy was curious but did not jump excitedly up and down shrieking 'What is it? What is it? Tell me now! Please?' like most boys in his class would because he was five and nothing bad ever happened to him.
He took off his blue blazer and hung up his tie just like his mother told him to do and got into his favourite red pyjamas with the trucks on them while Teresa filled up a hot water bottle. She also brought along a spoonful of honey, a childrens asprin and a glass of water in his favourite cup.
He liked playing doctors with Teresa and she liked it too because she could boss him around.
When they would play, she would tuck him into his bed with bandages around his head and put vapour gel over his belly and took his temperature. It was like enjoying all the good parts of being sick without the actual sick feeling.
Teresa sat next to him on his bed tucking in the sides of his quilt just like his mother did before bed every night.
" Do you have your teddy bear, Tommy?" she asked. He showed her his bear under his covers and she nodded.
"Now I have to tell you something bad. Its going to give you a bad surprised feeling so be ready for it, okay? You can suck your thumb if you want."
Tommy opened his eyes and frowned at his sister. Because he did not suck his thumb anymore. Only when he tripped over his shoelaces and grazed his knee. And even then it was only the tip, hardly the whole thumb.
Then Teresa said; "Mummy has died."
Tommy couldn't remember what happened next, or even how he felt on hearing the words.
All he remembered was how Teresa tried to protect him from the 'bad, surprised feeling'.
He was a grown up himself, holding his newborn daughter, before it occurred to him with a jolt of surprise that Teresa had only been a little girl herself that day.
He had phoned her to talk about it, to thank her, and the funny thing was that Teresa had an entirely different set of memories about when their mother died and didn't even remember putting Tommy to bed.
Of course, she had also claimed on occasion to have never recalled throwing a pair of nail scissors which got impaled in the back of Tommy's neck when they were teenagers. But still…
Tommy handed Teresa (who had arrived shortly after with balloons and flowers) the small bundle of baby and blankets.
"You're such a good big sister," he said to her as the baby dozed sleepily in her arms.
"No, I'm not," she whispered quietly, more to herslef, not looking at him.
Neither of them said anything for a few minutes.
"What's her name?" Teresa asked nodding towards the sleeping baby.
"Catherine," Tommy said putting his hands in his pockets. "After mum. Catherine Teresa Lisbon."
Lisbon felt her eyes sting at this and shame, torment and guilt wash through her body.
"I wish Mum could be here to see her," Tommy said quietly.
He didn't know. He still didn't know. He would hate her if he knew.
Lisbon quickly handed over the baby to her brother who took her, confused.
"She's beautiful, Tommy," she said hurriedly before the hysteria broke her voice. "I have to get back to work. Give Elizabeth my love."
"Tere-" Tommy called after her as Lisbon dashed out of the room and ran to the elevator jabbing the button frantically as the doors opened.
It was mercifully empty and she slid into the corner before doing what she condemned sensible, grown up adults for doing.
She cried.
Should I finish? Please Review.
