Hiei Goes to School
By Payne N. Uranus
.:AN:.
I've always had a fun idea about Hiei going to school. It was mostly entertaining because the only way that you get Hiei to enroll in a "human" school, it would probably be for punishment. And, I can only imagine how crazy people would go over The Flying Shadow. Of course, Kurama had to be in the story because 1) Hiei would never last a day with Yusuke and Kuwabara, 2) he just fit into the story, what with he being Hiei's closest "friend, and 3)… well, I like him! So, here's "Hiei Goes To School!" Read and enjoy!
Chapter 1: How Should I Say This?
"Kurama, you can't be serious!"
"Yes, Hiei, I'm afraid that I am."
"There is no way in HELL I am going to one of those stupid human learning centers!"
"They are called schools, Hiei. And I'm afraid you don't have a choice in the matter."
Kurama and Hiei were standing in the dense woods that surrounded Kurama's hometown. Hiei was sitting in his tree as usual and Kurama was leaning against its thick base, examining his nails, making sure that any demon remains were removed before his return to his home in the Human World. They had just finished tracking down and removing a rogue, low-level apparition that had popped up while Kurama was on his way home from school.
Hiei dropped down from his branch, landing right in front of his companion, a fierce glare that could make any fierce demon's blood run cold adorning his features.
"Six months surrounded by baka humans is not what I would consider a favorite past time," he seethed.
"Don't mistake this as an insult, but, I believe you will survive," Kurama countered calmly, not the least bit nerved by Hiei's display of anger.
"I won't do it," he told the redhead with a hint of finality.
"You will. I gave you that poisonous herb with a strict warning that if you did not use it wisely, I would be forced to make you pay for your malfeasance."
"Well, I'd consider this paying for murder," Hiei responded accusingly.
"Need I remind you that the said herb that you asked for was used to get back at Kuwabara simply because he stated that Yukina had a fine rear?" Kurama asked, cocking his head to the side and giving the indignant demon a pointed look.
"He should watch what he says about her, or I will personally--!"
"And," Kurama continued, cutting off the dark-haired swordsman's threat, "due to your actions, that same herb landed Kuwabara in the hospital for a few days, despite the fact that the herb was deadly? If I hadn't been present to provide the antidote, his life would have been lost."
"Would've served him right!" Hiei stated loudly.
"Be that as it may, instead of a simple act of retribution from myself, Koenma had me think of a more severe punishment for you," Kurama said, a hint of pity coating his otherwise unruffled tone.
"But this is more severe than any punishment I have ever received when I actually succeeded in killing someone for an act even less important," Hiei growled through clenched teeth.
"Considering the options, you should deem yourself lucky, for the alternative could have been much worse. As I said, I gave you a fair warning. You brought this upon yourself. If anyone should be blamed, it is you," Kurama said the last bit over his should as he pushed himself away from the support of the trunk, and made his way to the edge of the forest where the path to his home waited.
Kurama strolled along in silence, without a single comment coming from the three-eyed fire demon. He had almost reached the perimeter of the woods when a small dark blur dropped in front of his path, though Kurama was not the least bit startled. It wouldn't have been wise to share out loud, but the truth was, he was planning on this to occur.
"What about a weapon?" Hiei fumed silently. "Do you expect me to be enclosed in a human-filled compound without any means to protect myself? I am sure that Koenma instructed you to remove me of the sword at my side, did he not?"
"True, he did ask me to disarm you. After all, you are being sent there because you threatened the life of a human," Kurama stated, thoughtfully scratching his chin. "But, I suppose I can make an exception."
The redhead let his hand drift to his pocket easily and pulled out...
"What the hell is that supposed to be?" Hiei asked in his accusing way, glaring heatedly at the foreign object.
"It's a pocket knife," Kurama said, holding it out to him. "It is similar to your sword, except it is compact -- and easy to carry around without others seeing it. It doesn't do much damage when a human handles it, but being as you are, you'll find a way to make it acceptable. I hope it isn't necessary to tell you to handle it wisely?"
Hiei ignored his friend's somewhat sarcastic question, intent on examining this new "weapon" as fully as possible. He then snorted.
"This piece of human garbage couldn't even cut a low class demon's skin. What kind of defensive weapon is this used for? Butter?"
"That is all that you will be receiving, Hiei," Kurama said with a tinge of humor. "Now, I suppose you have a right to decide which school you'd like to go to for these six months, don't you?"
"Meaning would I rather go to this "school" abomination with the Detective, the Fool, and the insane harpy, or with you?"
"Precisely."
"What do you think?"
"I suspected as much."
"Don't go thinking that you've got me figured out," Hiei warned darkly. "If I were to attend their "school", it would most likely be filled with idiots worse then them, and then I wouldn't be able to guarantee any of their survival. Besides, I suppose your school would provide more of a challenge for me if I end up having to learn something?"
"Your assumptions are correct. Students at Meiou High do have superior grade point averages compared to those at Sarayashki Jr. High. You will also need to keep consistently high grades if you wish to complete your punishment for Koenma."
"Hn. Are we done?"
"Mostly. I need to inform you that there is a dress code you must comply to, and I suggest that you take a couple days or so to familiarize yourself with the human lifestyle."
"Dress code?"
"A uniform that shows we attend the same school. You will have to don an outfit identical to the one I am currently wearing," he explained, plucking at his school jacket.
Hiei took one glance at Kurama and almost gagged. Yes, he was wearing his purple school uniform, since he was walking home from school.
"Forget it," Hiei replied offhandedly with a slight smirk, turning away from the redhead. "I'll have more fun watching them try to "punish" me for my reluctance to wear such insulting clothing. No offense, Kurama, but I'm afraid I'm just not the "purple" type of guy." He walked off, head facing the sky as he continued to chuckle with grim satisfaction.
"True, it would be entertaining," Kurama agreed quietly, watching the small black retreating figure continue his way into the cover of the forest. Turning to look up at the darkening sky as well, he resumed talking to himself. "Let's just see if you are able to handle it. If I have a fan club, just wait until they see you."
~`*`~
A week had passed since Hiei was informed of his sentence, and the moment of recompense had come. As the sun rose above the horizon, it was time to start preparing for the next school week.
Kurama slowly rose from his bed, his eyes adjusting to the brightness quite quickly. Remembering that Hiei was to attend his "first day of school", he tried desperately to hide a smile. Even though the fire demon was mostly likely hiding out in the woods as he usually did, Kurama figured he'd better start checking the urge in case he slipped up and Hiei thought his friend was making fun. Pulling himself out of his warm bed, the redhead quickly prepared a hot shower and washed up. Several minutes later, he walked out of the bathroom with a towel loosely around his waist, and slipped his school uniform from his tidy closet.
"Suichi!" his mother called from downstairs. She was setting down a steaming plate of eggs and sausage for his morning breakfast, and didn't want it to get cold.
"I'll be down in a minute, Mother!" came is response, sounding muffled because of the towel now rubbing his long hair dry.
Just as he had said, Kurama was calmly walking down the stairs a minute later, looking like a prince at a ball, his briefcase (thing) dangling at his side. Another was in his other hand for Hiei.
"Suichi, why do you have two bags?" his mother asked curiously.
"Oh…" he thought quickly, outwardly containing his calm composure while on the inside his brain found a suitable excuse. "A friend of mine lost his bag, and I told him I had one he could use and would bring it for him today."
She smiled adoringly, and patted his back with praise. "You're such a good friend, Suichi."
"Thank you, Mother," he replied with a small, reassuring grin, sighing quietly in his mind out relief that she bought the white lie.
~`*`~
Kurama was casually walking on the sidewalk nearest to the woods he and Hiei had talked in the other night. Hiei was supposed to meet him at the edge nearest to the school. As he approached the crossing area, he spotted a small black figure perched in the lone tree by the corner. Kurama walked by, pretending that he hadn't noticed. When he stopped, it was so that he was directly underneath the figure.
"It seems that I thought wrong when I presumed that you would not show," the redhead commented casually to the air in front of him. He was unbothered by the fact that no one was there, for shortly afterward, the concealed figure dropped down into the unoccupied space.
Hiei looked up at Kurama, and scowled, red eyes shining in the bright sunlight.
"Cowards run from things they do not wish to do or see. In case you hadn't noticed already, I am no coward." His gaze burned with fury, as if daring his companion to say otherwise.
Kurama merely smiled. Then his face became serious again.
"I thought I told you that there was a dress code." His voice held no scolding tone, only one of observation.
"And I thought I told you that the chances of me wearing that rubbish were as great as an ice cube surviving in hell."
"Well, you at least were close."
Indeed Hiei was. He was wearing the exact style of Kurama's school uniform, except it was black and lined with sliver. The swordsman stood defiantly, his white headband covering his Jagan eye and his four, form-hugging belts hiding underneath his jacket.
Hiei simply "hn"ed and looked away, only slightly embarrassed about the fact that he tried.
"Well," Kurama continued. "Koenma thought up a cover story for your stay here. Would you like to hear it?"
Hiei glanced at him, meaning that he was listening, then turned back to staring at the crossroad, waiting for their chance to walk.
"You are to be my cousin twice removed, on my mother's side, from the other area of town, staying to visit while your mother and father sort out their maritial issues."
Hiei raised an eyebrow. "What is a "second cousin"? Surely humans don't keep track to how many offspring the other has? People would think that idiots like them were trying to outscore each other."
"A second cousin is the child of your first cousin," Kurama chuckled. "For example, if you and Yukina were to have a child, and her child was to have a child, then her child's child would be your child's second cousin."
Kurama watched in pleasure as Hiei's right eyebrow twitched during his explanation.
"Oh," the Jaganshi stated, obviously not understanding the jest of his hilarity or the clarification. Kurama decided that he would not tease him any further, and handed him the briefcase (thing), which Hiei took without question.
No cars were passing though the crossroad area, so the two crossed, side by side, and continued their way to the school now in view.
Hiei stared as they entered the vast grounds of the school.
"Why do humans have so much space to learn?" he asked, as if insulting the school would make it change to the way he wanted it to be.
"It is simply a matter of over-population. You will see what I mean momentarily."
Hiei looked at him warily.
"I hate it when you say that."
Then the bell started to ring.
Hiei practically jumped out of his skin when he heard the ring echoing throughout the compound.
"What the hell is that?" he asked, preparing himself for battle, his right arm automatically traveling to his side. Remembering that he was removed of his sword the day after his 'talk' with Kurama, he suddenly realized how bare he felt without it. He continued to glance around him, as if daring that 'thing' to attack him while he was 'defenseless'.
"Hiei, relax," Kurama said over the bell that was still playing, and tried to stifle his laughter. "It's just the school telling us that class is starting."
Hiei predictably stood straight again, faintly mortified that he had acted so stupidly. His traditional scowl returned to his face, covering up any redness that might have gotten through his façade.
"Why in the world would idiots like them need a bell to tell them what to do?" he asked again in his accusative manor as the bell's song finally ended.
"It's just the way it is," Kurama replied, enjoying Hiei's dumbfounded look.
"Hn."
Seemingly out of nowhere, people started swarming around them. Hiei noted immediately that most of them girls, and the resulting chatter drowned any comment that the fire demon would have made to offend anything else. Amidst the crowds, other students uninterested in the newcomer simply pushed their way through to enter the main building.
"Hey, Suichi!" one teenager greeted.
"Oh my god! Look at the little guy! He is SO CUTE!" another one cried with excitement.
"Is he new? Are you helping him?"
"Oh, Suichi, you're so caring! It's absolutely admirable!"
"Wow, is he your brother or something, Suichi?"
They weren't screaming excessively, but they were loud enough to hurt Hiei's sensitive hearing. He flinched, hands rising automatically to cover his ears up.
Glaring at Kurama, he told him telepathically, "I will close my eyes—and when I open them, they had better be gone."
Kurama turned to the frantic students that were crowding around the two demons, remarkably allowing them a small amount of personal space, and felt slightly lost as to how he was supposed to do as his companion requested. They were all pushing each other out of the way, some even reaching out to grab at their clothing. Hiei was being jostled, and knew that he was taking great measures to not slaughter the whole student body.
Thinking rapidly, he said, "Everyone! Everyone, my… cousin and I are late for a meeting with the principal. It would be most gracious of you to step aside, and let us continue on our way."
Blinking and chattering amongst themselves at the request, they promptly obeyed, creating a path leading straight to the front doors of the school. Hiei opened his eyes and walked forward without a moment's hesitation or a glance at either side, fiery eyes daring them to get in his way.
As they walked, Hiei was able to catch small comments coming from the love-struck girls, like "who is that little boy?" and "look at how sexy their eyes are! I think I'm gonna faint!" as well as "I melt every time Suichi speaks. It's as if he's creating poetry!"
Needless to say, Hiei was thoroughly disgusted by the lot of them.
Finally, they reached the safety of the building, and Hiei immediately deflated, sighing in relief. As soon as he saw Kurama looking at him pityingly, he instantly tensed up, back to the old Hiei we all know (and love).
"What now?" he asked diffidently.
"Now," Kurama started slowly, trying to remember their next course of action. "We head to the Main Office to enroll you as a temporary student at Meiou High."
"How many of these "offices" does this place have?" Hiei asked in an almost crazed manner.
He was sick of this school already.
~`*`~
Moments later, a pissed-off Hiei and a tired looking Kurama stopped in front of the door that lead to their homeroom class. Kurama sighed.
"Hiei, is it really necessary for you to pick a fight with every human you meet, about things that they can't help but do, say, and/or have?"
Hiei, looking faintly disgruntled, stared determinedly at the door, as if it suddenly earned his interest. Kurama could hear an audible grunt come from his throat. He sighed again.
"Well, at least you only broke one of her fingers and not the whole arm. She was only telling you what I did, and you didn't try to break my finger."
Hiei glared at him from the corner of his eye. "I will not be told what to wear by humans who need their parents help to dress them until they are going through puberty. And I'm sure you know why I didn't try to harm you, though don't take it, or anything else I do or don't do, for granted. I just may change my mind…" His voice trailed off as his eyes returned to the door. Kurama was surprised to see a hint of hesitation in them.
"Shall we?" Kurama asked, the humor returning to his tone.
"Hn."
They opened the door that lead to the classroom full of rambunctious students, Hiei trying to stay hidden in the fairly absent shadows. Almost immediately, the chatter ceased, then came back at full-force, aimed directly at the two newcomers. It almost was like turning the volume down while listening to one's favorite rock band, then turning it up again in a period of five seconds.
"Suichi, I saved you and your cousin a seat!"
"OMG! YOUR COUSIN IS SOOO CUTE! CAN I PLEASE HOLD HIM?"
"Who is he? He is so adorable!"
"SUICHI! CAN I HAVE YOUR AUTOGRAPH?"
Kurama caught Hiei's glare once more and tried to calm everyone down. Straightening himself more thoroughly, he cleared his throat and said loudly, "Everyone, please!" All at once, the class was silent, their eyes glued to the duo. Kurama glanced around briefly, then continued, "My cousin has extremely sensitive hearing due to an… accident he had been involved in when he was young. I must ask you all to try and control your usual habits to make his temporary stay as enjoyable as possible in his situation. If you can cooperate with such terms, I would appreciate it greatly." And with that said, he and Hiei took their seats near the window as far back as they could.
And, as amazing as it seemed to Hiei, they obeyed, though some of the more brave students, his new peers, walked over to ask about his accident and why he was here only temporarily—this came with a whining tone that made Hiei wish once more that he had his ever-reliable sword at his side…
~`*`~
When their first class started, Hiei found himself with nothing to do. It was a… "study hall" day, and everyone was doing work from previous lessons—ones that he had not been apart of. The teacher had instructed Kurama to explain what they were doing to him, but it didn't take as long as the teacher thought it would.
Hiei shifted restlessly in his uncomfortable plastic chair, tempted to just dart out of the window while the rest of the occupants of the room were bent over colored papers and textbooks. Looking longingly outside at the trees and the clouds, he caught in Kurama's glance, emerald eyes once more twinkling with entertainment. Hiei scowled, and turned to him and whispered, "Got something you'd like to share with me, Fox?"
Kurama's face automatically turned serious, and Hiei almost fell over due to the abrupt change. "Actually, yes, I do." His eyes gazed at his other peers to make sure that they weren't listening in. "Hiei, as you know, I'm referred to as "Suichi", here…"
"Oh, really?" Hiei sneered. "And I thought that was your pet name that those crazed females called you."
"Very amusing Hiei…" Kurama sighed. "Still, you must try to call me Suichi, or else others may become suspicious."
"Why? Is there a demon or something that I haven't sensed located here? I will not call you such a disgusting human name, Kurama. I intend on calling you whatever I feel like, whether it be Kurama, Fox, or an insult."
Kurama sighed once more, knowing there'd be no point to argue the issue any further. "Very well… then it will be a nickname, but no one else must refer to me as such or it will be your fault."
"Hn," Hiei grumbled, pushing his chair back forcefully as he stood and perched himself onto the windowsill.
Kurama, watching him with a startled expression, asked, "Where are you going?" as Hiei pressed his hands against the warm glass, shoving it upwards to open it.
"None of your concern," he snapped, continuing his way out of the window without caring if anyone saw him in the act.
"Hiei…" Kurama warned him, his eyes gaining that dangerous look that made Hiei aware that he was not to try him any farther.
It almost made him smile—almost.
"No need to worry yourself, Fox," he explained lazily, only stopping his journey down the side of the building. "I assure you that I have no intention in doing something that will likely earn me a preaching session with these human adults, or the Koenma child. I will be back before anyone notices my absence."
Unable to think of a way to stop Hiei from doing with he thought he was going to do, Kurama simply relaxed back in his chair. "Very well… I will make sure that they don't, if you manage to take longer than what you say."
"Hn," Hiei replied with a small smirk, saying "thank you" in his own unique way.
And with that he leap down onto the ground, landing lightly before rushing into the forest area surrounding the school.
Kurama sighed, closing his eyes before he opened them once more, and returned to his own work.
He'll have to learn to use the school's restrooms sooner or later, or else it could create quite a problem later on…
.:AN:.
That's the end of my first chapter! What do ya think, huh? Is it good? Should I continue? Did I do a good job with the character's personalities? TELL ME! Just kidding, please R&R before returning to the other stories out there!
Sayonara!
