**This follows the events of an alternative ending to Kill the Moon, based on what I believed could have been the event that "changed the course of the show." as it was written before KTM aired.**
[A.N: Sooo, this started off as a headcanon thing of mine that sort of evolved into this massive plot that myself, L and J decided to expand upon and write as a joint fic. We've all just chipped in our ideas and this is rhe result. It's going to deal with some dark themes in later chapters, so read cautiously. (Ratings and warnings will be provided at the beginning of each chapter.) But yeah, we hope you enjoy reading as much as we enjoy writing! Reviews are incredibly appreciated, they help encourage us to continue writing and improve what we produce! c:]
"Take me home."
The demand was heard, but was not listened to. Or at least, he didn't want to listen to it so he chose not to.
"The Arrkeiv Nebubla! Every two thousand years, it's hydrogen levels fluctuate and - "
"Now."
The Doctor was cut off by her this time - which was highly unusual in itself. The certainty in her voice mixed through the cloud of disappointment caused his hearts to stop. After a sharp intake of breath, he turned towards her, hands in his pockets and head slightly bowed; he could not look her in her eyes. He could not stand to witness the pain that he had caused.
"Why?" he asked.
He knew why. He knew this was his fault. He knew he had gone too far, crossed the line and this was the repercussion.
"Why...?" She looked at him with sheer resentment as she stood, eyes locked on his face which was blank as if he genuinely was oblivious to the events of the past few hours. Oh, how she wanted to slap him. Her hands balled into fists as the pressure of the building anger coursed through her body. She was either going to scream or cry, or both. "You damn well know why, Doctor! In fact, I don't even think you deserve that name any more..." It came out as a small and fractured whisper but she knew he had heard it as his hands that were once frantically entering coordinates froze and she could almost hear him swallowing the sudden lump in his throat.
"Clara, I-" Her skin began to crawl as his voice entered her mind and polluted her thoughts further. She had loved how he said her name before. As affectionately as a lover at times and as desperately as a dying man at others. But that was before. Before he had gone and changed his face and his accent. Before he had decided to become this dark and twisted creature that stood before her. Now, when he said her name - rough and broken in the middle by his accent - it was as if all affection and desperation didn't exist anymore, she was simply just Clara. His companion. No longer Clara, the impossible girl. And it made her feel even more spiteful.
"No." A bitter laugh escaped her lungs, "No, don't. Don't try to make excuses now. Don't you dare." He met her eyes now. Glossed over with unshed tears, her irises were like knives, sharp with hatred and digging straight into him.
"But I had no-"
"You left her! You left her behind, trapped in a room full of those ruthless monsters - no. I've seen monsters before, this was something else entirely, and you watched her die! You stood there as she was ripped apart! You knew you could have got her out of there, if you weren't such a self-absorbed twat!" She was screaming at him now. Her venomous words bouncing around the vast console room and reverberating straight through him, making sure every syllable stung more than the last just so he could get a glimpse at just how badly he had messed up. "Courtney was just a kid, Doctor! A kid who shouldn't have even been there if it wasn't for your ridiculous, compulsive need to show off!"
"Clara, there was nothing I could have done!" he raised his voice to match hers, bellowing at her now. "The section was secure! If I had stopped to open it, we all would have been in jeopardy! It wasn't my fault, she was too slow, and now she's gone. People die, Clara. I thought you would have understood that by now, so let's move on, alright?" The Doctor punctuated this sentence with the flick of a switch. The TARDIS' usual low hum grew louder until it groaned to life meanwhile, Clara stood in silence. She couldn't believe that he expected her to simply get over it. She wanted to yell at him, scream and curse until her lungs burst but now, she couldn't utter a word. She watched as he stalked around the console, once again averting her gaze. He was always distant now; unlike before when any opportunity was one to be at her side. "Not the hugging type" was his excuse, but it wasn't just hugging. He no longer grabbed her hand when danger was near just to make sure she was by his side. He always stood just out of reach, ripping away the reassurance that came hand in hand with his presence. He wasn't her anchor anymore; he was the iceberg.
The TARDIS came to a sudden halt, snapping Clara out of her thoughts.
"There. Your flat. Happy now?"
Although he spoke coolly, his words were heavy. He was trying to shrug this off. He only had to wait until she saw sense and snapped out of it like he knew she would. She could never stay mad at him for long - or at least, before he changed.
"Good." she retorted, grabbing her bag and striding towards the doors. He was her hobby, her escape and she didn't stay in the TARDIS for long enough to keep anything with her other than for one or two necessities and change of clothes, so why was she taking them? The Doctor's hearts sank at the realisation. She was leaving. For good.
"C'mon, Clara. I really don't see what the problem is here! Why are you acting so irrationally?" She stopped in her tracks, snapping round to give him her most steely-eyed glare. A glare that had silenced Courtney not two weeks ago after she'd mouthed off in class. It was nothing major, Clara could see that clearly, but she'd cared for the girl and had wanted her to succeed. She was still trying to comprehend it all. There wasn't even a body to mourn, and here he was, the Doctor, rising above it all.
"See! What's with the eyes?" He could see her jaw trembling as she clamped it tight, he knew he was pushing her more and more with every word but he couldn't let her go. Not like this, not over some silly little ape who got herself killed. "Look, she was a disruptive influence was she not? I mean, you said so yourself and all you ever did was go on and on about how she was making your days so much more stressful! So really, I did you a favour here."
That did it. Before he had time to defend himself, her hand met his face with a booming smack.
"Don't you even dare, dare, to tell me that this was a favour. How could you even think something like that. Are you complete devoid of all rational emotion? Did you lose all of your compassion after you regenerated? Courtney is dead. You let her die! You didn't even give her the chance to live. She was only fourteen years old. Do you remember the wonder in your mind at the age of fourteen, or have the years finally caught up with you? You know what? You, Doctor, are no better than a Dalek nowadays. No emotion, no remorse, no real love. And I've had enough of providing you with the correct emotional response to the situation. I'm stepping out these doors and I have absolutely no intention of returning. I'm finished."
With a swift spin, Clara clicked her fingers and the TARDIS doors opened for her. Without a single glance back, she walked purposefully out of the place that was once her haven and back to reality - for good. The Doctor was left standing alone, gob-smacked at his companion's response to the service he had provided her with. She had a problem, and it was resolved. What was so wrong with that? He rubbed his cheek as he clicked his fingers and the doors slammed shut on Clara Oswald.
As Clara stepped outside the blue box, she was confronted by her boyfriend's daunting figure, looming above her from the corner of the room.
"What was all that about?" Danny demanded. His voice was the same that he often used when disciplining one of his pupils. This voice had become more commonplace within their relationship recently. Clara just wanted to cry, to let out everything to him. The blue box began to dematerialise with a more strained noise than she usually produced. She almost sounded upset. The wails of the old girl faded away along Clara's ability to conceal the situation anymore.
"He went too far, didn't he?" If she wasn't so busy trying to piece together the crumbling shards of the situation, she would have sworn there was a hint of pride in Danny's voice; as if he was finding some form of pleasure despite what was going on simply over the fact that he was right.
"I've left him," she said plainly. "I had no choice, and he did. I trusted him, and he threw it all back in my face." It was now she finally let go and allowed her walls to crumble. Her knees collapsed beneath her as she began to cry, Danny instantly by her side, cradling her in his arms whilst she broke down.
"It's alright, Clara. You're safe now, yeah?"
