Tali stood in front of her touchscreen in the Engineering Deck, her fingers deftly jumped around the display. She kept her eyes fixed on the monitor, trying her best to appear entirely absorbed in her work. In truth, she was shamelessly eavesdropping on the bickering engineers that shared the deck with her.

Since Shepard had given in to Yeoman Chambers' insistent requests for a Christmas party on the Normandy, the quarian had spent some time on the Extranet trying to understand just what this "Christmas" thing was all about. She was quite amazed when she found out it was an occasion for humans to get together with family and share presents; further investigation into human customs seemed to suggest humans had a vast array of such occasions, such as birthdays, valentine's day, and something called "Easter". Back on the Flotilla, gifts were a rare thing, and most Quarians only ever received any when leaving on their Pilgrimage. Tali could barely contain her enthusiasm and curiosity; however, being the youngest member of the crew, she felt pressured to appear mature and professional.

In reality, she loved nothing more than to hang out on the Engineering Deck, pretending to be hard at work, listening to whatever Daniels and Donnelly had to say. She found their arguments most entertaining, and had already learned many human cuss words thanks to Kenneth. Every night, she would dutifully type up all she had learned on her datapad. This afternoon, they were chatting about tonight's Christmas celebration.

"So, what d'ya think Gardiner will cook tonight?" asked Gabby.

There was a pause, then Ken replied in a hazy, dreamy tone that was rather unusual for him.

"Ah, same old shite grub I expect. I'd love me some Cock-a-Leekie though. Maybe some Crannachan as pudding."

Tali didn't need to see Gabby's face to guess she was grimacing.

"Ugh. Do you Scots even try to make your own food sound nice?" she inquired impatiently.

"No need to make it sound nice. The glorious taste speaks for itself!"

"Tastes like ass more oft than not."

Gabby loved to point out that Ken's national food tasted "like ass". Tali wondered whether it was a human custom to… taste each other's rears; so far, she hadn't had the courage to look THAT up on the Extranet.
She heard a muffled thump as Donnelly kicked Daniels, who protested slightly while chuckling. Then Kenneth's voice came back, although this time it was a barely audible whisper.

"Anyway, I wouldn't mind me a piece o'that under the Christmas tree, if y'know what I mean."

Tali knew he was talking about her; he often made lewd comments about the Normandy's female crew members. Save for Shepard. Even an airhead like Ken knew it'd be best to avoid that, so long as he wished to live a long, happy life.

"You are such a perv. You know she can hear you, right? Besides, she's the Commander's little protegée: you'd have to walk over her dead body to…"

Tali never heard what Kenneth would need to walk over Shepard's body to do. Gabby's voice trailed off as angry voices came from the corridor. The sensors picked up on the movement outside the Engineering Deck, and the automatic door slid open, revealing the source of the ruckus: Zaeed was walking purposefully towards the elevator, his features distorted by rage, his voice thundering.

"Goto, you sneaky little shit!" he shouted in anger, barely noticing the three engineers that were now staring at him. "I will murder you, I swear to God almighty!"

Surprised as she was, it took Tali a few seconds to realise that a sparkly garland was hanging loosely off of Massani's shoulders. That's… unusual. She thought. It took a few more seconds for the quarian to notice that his gun was drawn out, and that he seemed ready to shoot at any given moment. In a panic, she fumbled with her ear piece, hoping that she could reach the Commander in time.

"Uh, Shepard? Something's going on. You better come see this."


Aemilia Shepard was utterly bored.
She had spent the past few months on an emotional rollercoaster, hopping from system to system, all guns blazing, piecing together the ragtag crew of assassins and hopeless misfits that would help her take down the Collectors once and for all.

They were so close. The crew was ready and, according to EDI, the Normandy was running at optimum capacity. But Chambers had been so dead-set on her little party.

She had first suggested it when Aemilia asked her about the crew's morale.

"There is nothing unusual to report." Kelly assured her with her usual cheerful smile. "A lot of excitement, some anxiety. That's to be expected. However… you know, it is almost Christmas. And this could be the last one we get to enjoy."

At first the Commander shook her head. They needed to put an end to the Collector's threat sooner rather than later; there was no time for such frivolities. However, as she strolled about the crew's quarters, she had often overheard her midship crew members moaning over the fact they wouldn't be spending the festivities with their families and friends.

Shepard had tried her damnest to ignore the pangs of guilt she felt every time she overheard such comments; she lasted about three days. On the fourth, she went to Chambers and, defeated, agreed to the party.

Barely two days had passed, and Shepard was bored as hell.
She spent her time restlessly pacing around the ship, dreaming she was on some uncharted planet, blasting through hostiles with her trusted shotgun and happily blowing shit up. Instead, she was currently sat on a comfortable leather chair to her pilot's right, her eyes staring dreamily out of the window to the stars above. She was sat in a most un-ladylike position, slouched in the chair with one foot underneath her and the other tapping rhythmically against the hull in boredom.

"Uh, Commander? D'you mind? Trying to focus here."

She startled, and it took her a few moments to realise what he was on about, and why he was giving her that slightly desperate look. She grounded her feet, putting a stop to the incessant tapping, but not before she gave Joker a long, sour look for interrupting her daydreaming. She hoped that, maybe, it would start an argument: at the very least it may entertain her for a little while. Much to her dismay, the pilot shrugged briefly before silently returning to his flight simulation.

Bur she'd already decided she needed some sort of distraction, so she kept staring at him, her eyes squinting in a feline manner. It didn't take long before Joker took notice and interrupted his simulation with a sigh.

"Don't blame me if we crash before even hitting the Omega-4 relay. I haven't had any practice since you moved in."

He adjusted his cap, giving Shepard a long, reproachful stare.

"You're ALWAYS here. Fidgeting. Twitching. Staring." He added impatiently.

"But I am so bored!" she moaned, throwing back her head in despair. "I should have never agreed to that stupid party: we could have obliterated the Collectors by now. What if we lose another colony because we just couldn't skip fucking Christmas?"

Her voice had become unusually shrill, which Joker knew was an unmistakable sign that his Commander was under some sort of distress. He had known the woman long enough that he could easily interpret her moods.

The Council wasn't there to keep her in line anymore, and the Illusive Man was a complete maniac who loved and encouraged the Commander's tendency to make things explode around her. Since they started working for Cerberus, she had become more wild and unruly, voluntarily making rash decisions and compromising the mission just to make things more exciting.
Part of him loved it: he had never truly forgiven himself for causing her untimely death. Even after Cerberus brought her back, he had been afraid she would never truly be herself again. But every time she'd return from some dangerous mission after barely escaping with her life, covered in blood, all ragged breaths and messy hair, she looked alive and crazed and dangerous, as she'd always been.

Shepard had always been a woman of action, and she obviously didn't cope well with peace and quiet. However, he felt like there was something more to it; Chamber's little party couldn't possibly be the only thing that was putting the Commander in such a state.

He fell quiet, and she almost instantly began rocking back and forth in her chair, her hands restlessly fumbling in turn with everything they could reach - her datapad, EDI's buttons, even a forgotten half-empty coffee mug. He instinctively reached out to her in annoyance, firmly grasping both her wrists in his hand and forcing her hands back on her lap; she shot him another murderous look.

"I stopped being afraid of that look a long time ago, Shepard." He pointed out with a grin. "I can't believe you cannot cope with a little down time; so you can either tell me why you are being such a Grinch, or start behaving like a normal person. Everyone loves Christmas!"

"I am behaving like a normal person." She hissed. Her gaze was hard and cold, but he noticed that she had drawn her knees to her chest, hugging them in a defensive posture. He saw her assume that position a few times before, whenever his teasing would hit a soft spot: it was an unmistakable sign that something she'd rather not discuss had come up.

"We just don't have time for this." She continued. "The galaxy's going to shit and it all rests on the success of this…"

Her venting was cut short by a static noise in her ear; Tali's voice came through, sounding rather worried. There were loud banging noises in the background, and she could make out Massani's voice screaming rather un-christmassy profanities and cursing Kasumi at the top of his lungs. Shepard rolled her eyes but sprung to her feet at once, stretching her arms high above her head before walking towards the door. Joker swirled his chair around, cocking an eyebrow at the Commander.

"The kids are at it again." She explained with a half-smile.

"You got lucky." He sighed. "But I know something's amiss, Commander; I can read you like an open book!"

She grimaced at the sight of his presumptuous grin. If, like he kept claiming, he wasn't a "people person", how come he could always fucking tell when something was wrong with her? The thought irritated her to no end.