Chapter One: Best You've Ever Had

"Oh, come on! You mean to tell me that you don't like it? At all?"
"That is in fact what I'm saying."
"And that there isn't a single redeeming component that you could possibly, maybe, sort of like?"
"I admit that it is an interesting concept. But no. I think it's awful."
"Wow... Wow, I can't believe how wrong you are. How did I not know this? You know what this means, right? It means we can no longer be friends. We just can't. It's outrageous. That is just… blasphemy." She rolled her eyes at his ramblings.
"I am not wrong. I just don't like it."
"You must be doing something wrong."
"I am not doing something wrong! It's not something you can do wrong!"
"Oh, you'd be surprised. You have tried it, right?"
She rolled her eyes again, "Of course I have. That's how I know that I don't like it!"
"When?"
"I don't know... 3, maybe 4 years ago?"
"And you've only tried it that one time?"
"Believe me, once was enough."
"You can't have an informed opinion on something after just one time!"
"I can. And I have."
He groaned at her dismissal and wanted to tear his hair out in frustration.

A few moments later, his eyes lit up, "I'm going to prove you wrong."
She sighed heavily and shook her head. "No, no. I will prove you wrong. I will prove you so wrong that you'll be begging for seconds."
"That seems sufficiently doubtful."
"Nope. I'm about to blow your mind." He stepped in front of her, his hands on his hips and chest confidently puffed up, and boldly declared, "Erza Scarlet, prepare for the single most amazing experience in your life."


She stood in the aisle, her darting eyes following him back and forth. "…What are we doing here?"
"Well, I gotta prepare, don't I?"
"Prepare? Prepare what?"
"Stop asking so many questions. You'll find out soon enough."
"I don't like where this is going."
"It's nothing bad. I swear."
He scanned the shelves briefly, "do you like spicy?
She shrugged, "I guess."
"You like potatoes?"
"Wait, Gray, are you going to cook?"
"Why do you think we're here?"
"You can cook?"
"I wouldn't call it cooking… Curry is the only thing I can make. I mean, it's the best damn curry you will ever taste but it's still just the one." He paused and contemplated, "and chicken soup." He quickly looked up at Erza, panic evident in his eyes, "Don't tell Mira."
She chuckled deeply, "I make no promises."
"Too cruel, Erza."


"What... in fresh hell is this, Gray?"
His face scrunched up in such a way that it looked like a sour fart hit him in the face, "It's not that bad."
"It looks like a pack of mountain vulcans nested here."
"Okay, that hurts. Really, really hurts." She began to putter about. "What are you doing?"
"What does it look like?"
"Erza, stop. You don't have to clean. You're a guest. I invited you over for dinner. Dinner guests don't clean up."
"Someone has to. How long will it take for you to make the curry?"
"About an hour and a half?"
"Excellent. You get started on the curry and I'll start... I'm guessing this is the living area, yes?" She didn't wait for him to answer before continuing, "I assume the curry will need to boil?" Again, she didn't wait for his reply, "when that happens, you can help me clean."
She finally spared him a glance, eyebrow raised, daring him to defy her. He sighed heavily, "I'll get started."

She gave him a stern nod of approval before tossing the stack of paper littering his... "coffee table?" she guessed.
At the scene of paper flying, Gray intoned, "I thought you were cleaning!"
"There is a method. Don't question it. You, cook. Then help."
He shook his head in both annoyance and amusement and began to raid his kitchen. He ignored the ruckus Erza was currently engaging in and focused on his task. He was determined to prepare her the best damn meal she will ever have in her life.
Now if only he could find that cutting board...


They stood at the doorway of the kitchen; their eyes darting back and forth from the kitchen and the living room, "I thought we were supposed to make my house cleaner, not... whatever this is," he gesture wildly at the mountain of junk.
"It is cleaner. Look, you actually have a coffee table. And, did you know you have a lacrima screen? And it's pretty new too. And! You now have seats that you and your guests can sit on."
"Except now, I can't leave my house because all this junk is blocking the exit."
"Yes, that is a bit of a problem. But also, what did you do to the kitchen? You were supposed to be cooking not go through your cabinets like a starving bear looking for honey."
"I... may have had some problems looking for the proper cooking equipment."
"This curry better be worth it."
"Oh, it is. It. Is. Don't you worry about that. And it's almost done. So if you can just push some of this stuff off to the side, grab some bowls and spoons, we can eat."

He transferred the big pot of curry onto the small dining table and ladled out a healthy serving of curry for Erza and himself. She eyed it with suspicion. The last time she came face to face with a bowl of curry, she had to hug her toilet to sleep. She really didn't want to do that again. Her fears faded when she remembered that Gray was the one that made it. Gray wouldn't try to poison her. Would he?
"You wouldn't try to poison me, would you?"

A spoonful of curry hung in midair. Gray's mouth was agape, ready to shovel the deliciousness into his waiting mouth. His eyes widened at her semi-serious question. He guided the spoon to finish its journey and swallowed before asking, "You can not be serious," he dropped his spoon into his bowl and looked at her seriously, "I'm not trying to poison you. As you just saw, I gobbled a massive spoonful of curry into my mouth hole. There's no poison."
She continued to eye her bowl with apprehension, "Erza, just... try a tiny bit. I promise, it's not a big deal."

She took a deep breath and exhaled evenly. Taking the spoon, she scooped just enough curry for a taste test. Wanting to get it over with, she quickly devoured it. She cringed expecting the same kind of grossness she felt the first time she tried it but when it didn't come, she opened her eyes in surprise. This is good!
"This is good!"
Gray grinned, looking tremendously pleased with himself, "I should've bought a crow and make you eat it."
"Oh, hush up. You got what you want and proved me wrong," she ate another spoonful and smiled, "This is really, really good!"
"You're damn right it is."
She wanted to smack him for being so smug but she had better things to do. Like finishing this really damn good bowl of curry.

Gray was filling his now empty bowl with more when Erza asked, "So where did you learn how to make this anyway?"
He smiled wistfully, "Ur used to make it for me and Lyon when we were training with her. After training all day in the freezing cold with no clothes on, you kind of need something hot to keep you warm. I watched her make it a few times. It's not quite like Ur's. It's pretty close but I've made it my own and it's pretty damn good if I can toot my own horn."
She normally would have snarked at him for 'tooting his own horn' but after hearing the origins, she grinned and agreed, "toot away."


Hello, , we meet again. I just can't stay away can I?

It's a whole new series of adventures. Sort of. Maybe. I'll see how I feel about it. Until then...