i'm not bulletproof when it comes to you


[asshole, n. a (former) term of endearment]


A.

The first time Skoochy calls Kai an asshole is two weeks after they first meet, nervous and worried outside of the Careers office. "Watch where you're going, asshole," Skoochy spits out as he stumbles, Kai accidentally running into him. Training, for a chance to get into the junior Hunter program. Then Skoochy's face softens, recognition dawning in his eyes. He's much shorter than Kai, younger probably too, with shaggy dark hair topped with an askew baseball cap.

"Hey it's you, hunter kid. Kai, right?"

Kai smiles stiffly. "Hunter kid. That's me. And you're Skoochy." Kai was normally bad with names, but who could forget such an unusual one?

"Which way are you headed?" Skoochy asks, readjusting his head.

"To get the paperwork to apply for the Hunters," he answers. "You?"

"I wasn't going anywhere in particular," the shorter boy says nonchalantly, shrugging. "Mind if I tag along?"

For some reason, Kai finds doesn't mind. "Why not," he figures. "C'mon."

And it's the start of everything. And the end, too.

S.

Skoochy presents him a tiny and crappily made cakea few months later for his birthday, but Kai appreciates it all the same. "Happy birthday asshole." Kai grins at him, taking the plate of cake happily. He takes out his knife and cuts it down the middle.

"Half for you Skooch," he says, already digging into his own piece.

"Oh thank God," Skoochy says, smirking, and Kai punches him playfully on the shoulder. "Hey," he protests through a mouthful of cake."

Kai points his fork at him. "Just eat your cake Skooch." Scowling for a second before splitting into a grin, Skoochy obliges.

S.

"Dude, that girl was totally into you."

"And I am totally not into her," Kai says dryly. He twists Skoochy's cap around, it falling over on of the shorter teen's eyes.

"Of course you get all the girls but don't want 'em," Skoochy grumbles, fixing his hat. "And you won't even let me catch the rebound."

"We have more important things to worry about," Kai elbows him in the ribs. "Like surviving."

"We have to reproduce to survive," Skoochy chuckles. "Don't worry, I'll have enough kids for the both of us, and you'll be Uncle Kai and sleep on the couch."

Kai rolls his eyes. "Something to look forward to."

"You ungrateful asshole," Skoochy teases, pulling a laugh out of both of them.

(Later, Kai breaks down when he remembers this, and knows that Skoochy will never get to have those kids.)

H.

"First day of Hunter training!" Skoochy crows, and even if Kai pushes him away, Kai's still grinning, barely able to contain his excitement. This is what they've been working towards. They're going to learn how to fight. They're going to make a difference.

"You'll finally get to take that stupid hat off," Kai chirps, pulling on his helmet. There's a lot more gear than Kai thought there would be, but he supposes it makes sense. They'd want to have as much skin covered as possible, reducing the risk of being bitten as much as it could be.

"And you'll get to cover up your stupid face," Skoochy jabs, shaking his head and giving him a toothy grin. "Bet I'll get a higher score than you."

Kai smiles widely. "You're on, shortstack."

O.

"Are you staring at that girl?" Skoochy asks, a sly gin on his face. He has an infuriatingly knowing look in his eyes. Kai tears his gaze away from a brunette deeply engrossed in a book, blushing furiously. There's no denying the girl is pretty, nor that he was staring at her, but he doesn't need Skoochy to have more ammo for teasing.

"Shut up," Kai mumbles, rubbing the back of his neck.

Skoochy holds his hands up in mock-surrender. "Okay, okay, I'll leave it alone. But it's just nice to see you showing an interest, that's all. What if something happens to me, and there's no one to take care of you?" Skoochy's words die in his throat, the joke falling flat. It hits too far too close to home, for Kai's liking. Their jobs are dangerous after all, and Kai... Kai doesn't want to see a world without him.

Skoochy, seemingly sensing his mood, claps a hand on his shoulder and scrounges up a decent attempt at a smile. "Hey man, I was just joking. I'm going to be around to annoy you for a long, long time."

Kai manages a small smile, already feeling considerably better. "Too bad, I was looking forward to some peace and quiet for once."

Skoochy playfully shoves his shoulder, rolling his eyes. "Asshole," he says fondly.

L.

"You know, they say that every fifth mission, they-"

"Kai, stop. Everything's gonna be fine, you'll see."

Kai swallows and tries to ignore the bad feeling he has about this mission. One outta five. "Yeah, okay. You're right."

"Of course I am."

"For once in your life," Kai teases.

"You're such an asshole," Skoochy mutters, but there's a grin on his face, and just like that, all of Kai's worries melt away.

E.

The first time Kai calls Skoochy an asshole is three years later. Numbly, Kai stares at the gravestone. Skoochy's full name, the one he hated, is etched upon the stone. Tear tracks are etched upon Kai's face, and tears flow down his cheeks in a continuous stream. His eyes are bloodshot and it's hard to breathe.

He doesn't even know what the point of a gravestone was. It's not like there was a body to bury. He grips the stone tightly anyway. In that moment, he hates Sam, he hates zombies, he hates Skoochy, but most of all, he hates himself. Why'd he have to go and be stupidly noble? Why'd Skoochy had to go and leave him?

He glowers at the stone, sniveling. "You asshole," he mumbles, before words are impossible and loses his already fragile control over his emotions.

And then, when - "Because whether I like it or not, I care about you, you asshole," - he starts to heal.


A/N: Because this fic has every intention of crushing you. A little tidbit of kainora in there, I guess, but this was mostly Kai&Skoochy friendship. Updates shall come when I'm in a mood, or as we get farther into the fic and there's more to explore. This'll also look at characters besides Kai and Jinora too, like eventually the BeiFongs, the Krew, Tenzin, Pema, etc. As always, I love to hear your thoughts.