My heart literally aches. I keep telling this to Enjolras, but he just says that it's the result of losing Marius. I hate it when he says that, because then it makes me think of him. Of everything he lost, and I lost.
I wish he was still here. I would rather live my whole life being just a friend than have him be gone. It wasn't supposed to be him, he was supposed to be rescued by Jean Valjean, Cosette's father. But he accidentally mistook Enjolras for Marius, so Marius ended up dying with the others.
Cosette keeps trying to talk to me, but I can't stand it. I can't stand her crying. I know she means well, but she needs to toughen up. I guess that's the problem of growing up rich, you don't really get accustomed to pain.
Speaking of Cosette, she's coming over in a couple minutes. After the fighting ended, Marius' grandfather found Enjolras and gave Marius' inheritance to him. Since Enjolras came into all this money, he decided to buy a new house and let me live in it for free. I appreciate it, and it helps since we both have awful nightmares from the war, but sometimes it becomes too much for me. Every time I look at his face I see Marius.
Suddenly, I'm pulled out of my thoughts with someone knocking on the door. It's probably Cosette. I unwillingly climb out of my huge canopy bed. I hate it, it's too girly, but Enjolras insisted that after everything I went through, I deserve a nice bed. I mean, it's not like I'm not grateful, but it's hard going from having abusive parents who only treated me nicely as a girl to living in an actual house with a huge bed.
I leave my room and walk down the hallway, dreading seeing Cosette again. Some days are better than others; today is not one of those days.
I open the door, and instantly I regret it. Cosette has on a huge petticoat with a green and pink pastel dress over it, a very bourgeois-looking bonnet, and an absolutely intolerable smile. I don't understand how she can be so happy when the love of her life has died? Her soul mate?
"Hello Cosette, how are you?" I say through practically gritted teeth. "Nini, I have absolutely fabulous news!" she said. I hate it when she calls me "Nini". It's so girly and unnecessary. "That's great Cosette! What is it?"
"Well… I've started to court someone again!"
I think my heart just dropped down to my stomach. How can she possibly be with someone already? We only lost Marius three months ago.
