"Jane...Jane!?" Lisbon was trying to get Janes attention for over 10 minutes, while he was sitting on "his" couch apparently lost in thoughts.

His blue eyes, which usually were sparkling with boyish joy, seemed emotionless.

She tried again "Patrick, can you hear me?"

His christian name seemed to pull him out of his trance.

The CBI Agent could watch how reality hit him and had to supress the urge to reach out and stroke his arm soothingly.

"I'm sorry what did you say?"

Her consultants voice was hoarse and barely more than a whisper.

Lisbon smiled sympathetically "I was trying to get you back to the real world, but you were prety consistent to stay in whatever place that brilliant brain of yours brought you"

He kept quiet for a few minutes until he broke the silence "Yeah, I was kinda lost in thought..."

His piercing orbs were now filled with unmeasurable pain and worry and she almost jerked away from him.

She couldn't hide the slight shudder though, that was running through her.

Lisbon still couldn't believe how much pain this man was hiding from her.

One moment she thought she knew all about him, the next he let down another facade and a ton of guilt threatened to suffocate her.

"I'm so sorry Teresa!

Jane snapped her out of her thoughts and now it was her town to be startled at the use of her first name. "Sorry for what?"

She didn't know what the hell he was talking about. Of course there were a lot of things he did, that upset her, but he'd never apologized before and she certainly didn't expect him to start now.

"For getting you into this whole Red John mess." He avoided her gaze while saying that.

"Jane you didn't get me into anything. Red John is a criminal, I'm an officer of the law, it's my job to bring him down!" Lisbon knew, that that wasn't the whole truth, but this wasn't about her and her guilty conscience about not telling him everything.

This was about him and about to calm him down, to release him from his guilt.

The men had suffered enough, she didn't want him to blame him more than he already did.

"That is not the truth and you know it!" Even if his voice was soaked with sadness she could have sworn, that she'd heard a slightly mocking tone in it.

Damn the man for always knowing everything.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Teresa knew it wasn't of any use, but she couldn't withstand her own nature she had to fight him.

"Meh, nonsense you know exactly what I'm talking about!"

The mocking was now clearly evident in his voice.

This time it was her who averted her gaze.

She could hear how Janes Tone softened when he spoke again.

"I'm really sorry Teresa... I never intended to make you... make you fall for me. I don't deserve the love of an amazing woman like you..."

She looked up again.

Lisbon had always suspected that he knew, but he had never made any kind of allusions.

Now that it was on the table, she figured, she had nothing to lose.

"You get it anyway..."

Patrick slowly his eyes.

"I know...I know, that you can't change the way you feel and that's the reason I'm sorry.

I told you already, everybody who gets close to me, everybody I care about is a potential target for Red John.

Teresa he killed already two people I love, I wouldn't survive if he took another one from me."

During his speech his eyes had welled up and a few tears were slowly making there way down his face.

She reached out and softly wiped them away. "You love me?" She whispered, scared that he would take the words, which had just left his mouth back.

Wonder crossed his features .

"Of course I do, How could I not?"

She smiled one of his favorite smiles and stroked his cheek with the hand she still had on his face.

"Then you don't need to worry about anything, because I'm not planning on leaving you anytime soon.!"

And with that she leaned in and placed a lingering kiss on his lips.

She didn't care about anything in this moment, not about the people who could walk by and see them, not about the strict rules about dating a coworker and certainly not Red John.

She felt Patrick responding to the kiss and despite her rational thinking brain part, that was shouting she could get fired for doing that, she crouched down, straddled his lab and deepened the kiss.

After a while they broke apart.

Teresa leaned her forehead against his and whispered " I know that you already know, but I just need to say it out loud.

Jane was back to being cocky and arched one eyebrow in question.

"I love you!" After saying that Lisbon gave him a few more pecks on the lips.

"Feels good to finally say it out loud, huh?" Patrick laughed.

"Oh shut up." She couldn't hide the smirk that was tugging at her lips.

"Teresa?" HE asked with a more serious voice.

"Yes?"

"I love you too!"