A l o n e ? / U n t i t l e d .
i i s a r a h h .


You run as fast as you could; as long as your legs could take. You scream as loud as your voice could go; as hard as your throat could handle. And you cry, as long as your tears last; as strongly as your painful thoughts are.

You wish you could disappear. All you want is to get away; to forget. To start over. You don't want to die; no. Not at all. All you wish for is to get away from this girl that you now are. You wish to escape the horrifying thoughts that cross your mind; the words that you keep hidden behind your sealed lips.

You used to have dreams. You used to hope. You used to enjoy life. Most importantly, you used to love. You wished you could once again be that girl… the loud, funny, free spirited girl. The one that could live her life without a care in the world, without an ache in her heart, without the guilt and regrets that you now carry. But unfortunate as it is, you have long ago realized the rules of life. Dreams results in broken hopes. Hope results in disappointment. Life results in death. And love… love always and only results in heartbreak.

As much as you love him, you really shouldn't. You hate yourself for being stupid; ignorant. You know he doesn't feel the same. He never has; he never will. He's always loved her.

Perfect, silky brown hair. Big, brown eyes. A perfect face, a perfect body, accompanied with the perfect personality. She is perfection. In comparison to this beautiful, perfect girl, you'd be stupid to believe you stand a chance.

But somehow, you did.

You're surprised that nobody had realized how you feel yet. You know you're loud, proud, and confident on the outside. But inside? You're shattered. Haunted; by the disappearance of your father. He left when you were at such a young age. You weren't good enough for him. Confused; by the loss of your brother. He was found in a dark alley- dead. Murdered. Agonized; by the absence of your twin sister. Melanie- the one who should understand you. The one who should know you, inside in out. Who should always be there for you. But she left you, alone, with your mother. Alone; to deal with your mother's drunken nights, broken hearts, and childish fits.

You were left alone. The rest of your life, you'll live alone as well, and you'll die, alone.

Just like your mother.

When you came home last week, you saw a bright red envelope on your bed. You were suspicious, especially when you saw that 'Sammy' was written on it. Never being the patient one, you ripped it open, not expecting much. Certainly not expecting the letter from your mother inside. She didn't want to deal with life anymore; she went to a hotel and overdosed.

So now, you're completely alone.

And what next? Some would say to continue life, and look for happiness. But you know better. As much as it pains you to admit it, you have nothing left to live for. There's no point of continuing life for you. But being you, you won't give up. Stubborn as you are, you'll keep living in misery, searching; hoping to find the reason of your life.

How much longer can you continue living this way?


I'M BACKKKKKKKKKK ! :D alright. i disappeared for a while, but its summer & my inspiration & everything is BACK. so yeah. be expecting updates from me ;D

hmm, i dont know what this is ... i wrote this a month or so ago cuz i was having writers block. it really is just a rant, i'm not sure what to do with it. it's up to you guys. so uhm, review? (: suggestions, compliments, whatever you want (:

althought honestly, i'm perfectly aware that this is horrible for my writing. i apologize, but eh i wrote what i wrote.

thanks for reading !

- i i s a r a h h . [: