The beginning.
When the switch had happened. She is reaching for a moment and only grasping air. There must have been one. One of the many clashes, many words, glances and cruelty and almost touches. Between the blood and bodies, it must have started. A time, a place, a non-existent heartbeat.
Since when has she known? Known, but not really. Conscious but not acknowledging. When did she become so obvious?
She never could hide feelings well.
Maybe it was the moment he sat beside her. The covers pulling tighter over her as his weight pinned them. His flesh burning against her lips. It's a new birthday. His words that she can't shake for their beauty. Even if she convinces herself they were lies.
And they're truths she doesn't want from him.
Maybe his gestures. Diamonds, dresses and attention. She doesn't know what he is. Charmer, manipulator, gentleman, monster, killer, savior. Too much more. She wants to pin the terror on him, the chaos and the pain. She can at least blame him for Tyler's sake. It's easy to, for a moment.
But sometimes he wears humanity just as easily as blood.
Hummingbird hearts and champagne have her wavering. Careful charcoal lines on paper. A portrait of… she doesn't know. It's beautiful and too close. Promises of journeys and worldly wonders to fuel her selfishness. Forever becomes a notion she can wrap her head around.
Forever like a twisted fairy tale.
She doesn't want to realize their frequent contact. How his voice has an effect. Or that she responds to his phone call. Peeling through his body for splinters that aren't there. It shouldn't be so easy to touch him. It shouldn't bother her to see him try, always for her.
It should be harder to let his smile get to her.
He lets go. She wants to do the same. He's not there anymore but stays in her head. Elena, caught in a cell and honest in her anger, throws her hypocrisy at her face. Dances and drinks and too many moments where no words passed. She still keeps the drawing.
At least there are enough distractions in her life.
Her relief betrays her when he returns, knight in the sunshine. Even while he beheads a witch, she only sees his eyes. She doesn't flinch away when his lips graze her cheek, his congratulations heartfelt. His words, sounding much too close to a promise, she tries to push aside.
They stick around when he is gone.
She doesn't know. It could have started before he ever knew her name. She wants it to matter more so she can blame him for it. Now, he's cornered her here. In a cage of canopy and solitude, where nobody is around to hear her denial. Only him.
And he reveals to her what he knows. What must have slipped through in all that time she skipped around him. Never admitting, never allowing. She's paralyzed because he speaks to that part, the one she's been blocking out. Ignorance had been manageable.
Fooled herself again, she's already drowning.
Her confession. Why does he want her honesty now? She wonders how long she can play before she loses. He could tear the truth from her. The space overflows with the unspoken and she is locked in place. Shit scared. He was under her skin in his absence, now he is crawling across it with his gaze.
So she starts to do what she does best. Triviality. Refusal. Speaking about herself, shutting out, always shutting out. Until his resignation, that disappointment becomes graspable. One more glance and the dam breaks. She's been in a corner for too long. Stemming this flood has been futile. She's worked herself up too much to turn back. Honesty suddenly seems like the solution.
He makes her a promise, she can only return it.
"Good". Her kiss seals it. She's never been this near without an ulterior motive. Underneath her fingers, dimples appear with his smile. She's always found them fitting. It's a devil's smile. This is all she has now. Beginning and end all at once.
Then bark grinds against her back and she's pulling at his clothes. She should have known. One touch is never enough. She craves friction. Hands grazing her breasts as he shreds the top and it's like fire. She claims his mouth as though she has every right. Her fingers find fabric and pull it away from his torso. A hand across her back, his lips dragging along her neck.
Intoxication finds a new meaning in his touch. None of its enough. Barely a scratch across the surface of what has been suppressed. The ground lurches away from her feet and she's pressed impossibly deeper into wood. Thighs against his hips, she groans at the hard contact against her centre. His shoulders as her anchor, she devours his kisses until the insistent rocking of her hips makes him pull back.
She slides down against him, at eye-level. Heavy breathing and hungry eyes distract her as he takes the rest of her clothes. She can't figure out his jeans half as quickly as he's got her down to panties. His usual patience has vanished. Leaves crack under her feet as she moves closer again. His fingers bury in her hair and the muscle of his abdomen shifts against her.
She's forgetting to breathe. Forgetting that she doesn't really have to.
Her name falls from his mouth as he backs her against the tree again. She drinks it in, responds in kisses against his collarbone. When their lips collide again, she's no longer in her head. They're both starving and ready. She reaches between them, feels the muscle ripple as she closes her hand around him. Touching him is too easy, too right. There is elation, his fingers pushing inside her and the world disappears. She loses sight of the sunlight dappling his skin, painting him in colours of purity. She needs more.
Her underwear is torn, she's bare. Her eyes open, catch his and he's impossibly close, only sliver of radiant blue around his pupils. She finds her voice in a husky whisper, curls a hand around his neck. "Klaus"
Because they both know they will only have this once.
She's worn his restraint away. Her moan is muffled against his shoulder and they're finally joined, entirely exposed. Bliss and agony blurred into something else. She stands, caught against a tree in the embrace of a murderer. Her head falls back as she adjusts to the rhythm, hoisting herself up higher to meet him in wild impact.
He's exploring her upper body with the reverence of an artist and an animal's abandon. The beads around his neck marking her skin. She's mindless, clawing into the bark for control. She's lost it already. She's caught in surprise when he grips her thighs, pulling her away from the tree and ever closer.
Softer surface, harder sex. Her eyes have opened, there's leaves rustling under their motions. The sky is now above her, his gaze boring into her and there's a crescendo building inside. She rises from the ground to kiss him deeper, pull on his lower lip and hear him growl, to gasp at their speed. It almost unbearable but she doesn't want him to stop, her white-hot, ravaging lover. She's coming undone, shaking from pleasure. Still wanting.
When his name falls again, it's her scream of surrender.
They remain connected after he flies over the edge. Panting, soaked and covered in leaves, he rides out the high with his head against her neck. Breathing her in. She can't stop touching him; he can't stop seeking out her lips. Fingertips ghosting across his temple, through his hair, like it's a reminder. There's loss when he draws back entirely, only to consume her body with his gaze.
She shouldn't be so ready to take him again.
His hand is heavy as he slides it, ever too slowly, from her hip to her neck. The pressure has her sighing, desiring again. She can tell that he has more to give her. She sits, moving forward so that he backs up, leaning on his elbows. He lets her do the exploring. Today, she can appreciate everything she comes across.
Their second time is demanding. The third is intrigued and borders on tender. She stops counting. The sun dies behind the trees when they finally lay in the flurry they created, sprawled across each other. She thought she knew what fulfilment meant. Now she does. Gravity reads her thoughts, pulling her down against him, head on his chest. She knows she should leave.
"I need to go back," she starts and is refused by his grip on her waist.
"Not yet, love," he murmurs. She twists her head, catches his smile wane as reality sets in. There's something about his serious face. Something that almost makes her regret. This pact they made could be forever.
She shifts, her hips curving against his side. Further out of his grasp. Even if she itches to stay, she can't. "Klaus, they'll look for me"
"And find you in a compromising position?" he quips, brushing his thumb along her throat. The challenge stirs in his stare. She stands against it with her own. Centuries in his gaze, seconds in hers. She doesn't answer him but in her smile, he understands. He always knew.
And this is goodbye.
She lingers for another moment, tracing birds on his shoulder. Dusk is settling across their bodies. She sacrificed a top and underwear to this encounter but for once, it's the last thing to bother her. Kisses, touches and possession imprinted on her, they will haunt her more.
Silence accompanies them until they're facing another, clothed and shameless. It's rare that she can't find something to say. He searches her face once again. Their last kiss is slow, hands framing her face like she's precious. It's a beautiful illusion. Happiness.
"Goodbye, Caroline"
He doesn't just disappear this time. He takes a step away, then another until he turns completely. Keeps walking. She can watch his back retreating until even vampire vision can't make him out anymore. She won't see him again of his accord. She can lean against their tree; shut her eyes and dream of a world where she won't be judged for this.
Where she won't judge herself for it as soon as it sinks in.
Kicking up leaves, she wanders back towards the boarding house. His taste in her mind and his promise on her lips. She is free and still he has made her his. She has to laugh because it's painfully clear now.
The beginning never mattered.
