Tattered Memoirs

A Loveless Fan Fiction

By: InuShikaCho

Disclaimer: I do not own this shounen-ai anime… but I do own the plot of this fan fiction…

(A/N): There are some part of this fan fiction which is not really based from the anime… the part of the flashback was just my imagination and my understandings about Soubi's past… And also, this may contain a lot of OOC…

Chapter 1: "Thoughts of you"

It's been a while since the last time he was been ordered by his true sacrifice. A feeling of everything has been back was felt around his body. After Seimei died, after he has been freed again from becoming an instrument. He's thankful that Ritsuka came to his life and turn him back to human. Though at first, he still loves Seimei and still act as his tool. But as he started to make memories with Ritsuka, his feelings changed and turned over to Ritsuka's place. It would look like unnatural to see them together, but that's how they felt for one another. To protect, to care and to love; that was all they've been saying to everyone.

He took out his brush and his canvas and started to paint. Like the usual, a blue butterfly was the only thing that came to his head. A Butterfly signifies his life: his past and his present. As he started 5 strokes of the portrait, and soaked his paintbrush to the paint, he stared the canvas and started to recall everything from his past…

-Flashback-

"Seven Moons?" a short-lengthen hair boy puzzled himself as he heard this name.

"It's a school for fighters…" a man without ears and who was wearing glasses answered his question.

"Fighters?" the boy asked again with confusion, "I really don't get it…"

"Fighters are those who are ordered to protect their Sacrifice…" the man tapped the boy's head and said, "You don't need to understand everything, Soubi-kun. I'll bring you there"

"Okay Sensei!" Soubi smiled and accepted the invitation.

Soubi was just 10 years old when he was brought by his sensei, Ritsu, in a school for Fighters—named Seven Moons. Because of his sensei's trust to him, Soubi did his best and got high grades in that school. One day, Ritsu called him in the middle of their class and that was the time where the game started…

"Soubi-kun, please come in" Ritsu ordered him as Soubi knocked at the door.

"Sensei, the teacher told me that you were calling me…" Soubi said.

"Yes, I did. Please, Soubi-kun, have a sit" Ritsu ordered him again. It was Soubi's first time to be in his sensei's office.

The room was full of frames with different kinds of butterflies. He also noticed that it was too dark and it was too quiet. Because of it, Soubi was forced to behave for a while and listened carefully to his sensei, "Is there something wrong, sensei?"

"Soubi-kun, the reason why I called you is for you to meet your sacrifice." Ritsu answered while somebody came inside the room, "Soubi-kun, he's Seimei. Aoyagi Seimei"

Soubi stared Seimei and looked at him from head to toe, "Seimei…" he murmured. Seimei's face was unable to identify, his emotions and his feelings that time. He was just looking back at Soubi with a straight face, "Seimei, this is your fighter, Agatsuma Soubi. Starting today, you'll stay together and stay as fighters and sacrifice of one another…"

Soubi's PoV

After that, Seimei and I were always together, as if we were unable to be separated. And as days passed by, our bond became stronger and that was the time when we were already connected. We fought with trust to one another and hope. The only key for a stronger capacity was for us to fall in love to one another and feel the real affection towards us.

Uneasiness and anxiety, these were the first emotions we felt. It would be really odd to see homos in the game. But to be able to win, we removed all these negative feelings and believed that our love will be the answer to all their spells.

But then, after that strong bond, I didn't expect that Seimei would change a lot. Since I was his fighter, I was forced to follow his orders just to have the title of the strongest pair in the world of Fighters. We were known to be the greatest. I love Seimei. I hate it when others hurt him. I hate the feeling that everybody insults him. These were the reasons why I didn't allow them to wound Seimei in a battle.

"Soubi, kill them!" Seimei ordered me while we were fighting against a stronger pair.

"If that's what Seimei wants…" I followed without any hesitations.

He's nice to everyone, but others didn't see it. Or maybe, I'm just blind from what he has been showing me with the unknown fact that Seimei loves me more than I am. I did all of his orders and followed them, because I want him to trust me and to be loved by him. I wanted more than that feeling, but something was missing, I knew it from the start. He was using me as a tool. But if that would make him love me, I would ignore that truth and be his tool forever, even others would think I'm stupid.

End of PoV

After a battle of fighters, Soubi felt already the truth around him. The truth about fighters, the truth about Seimei and the truth about him; and to be able to ignore and remove all of this pain he received, he decided to take a special treatment that his sensei offered him the last time. He wondered why he was been called after class, where everyone was heading home. He was 15 and he was already matured when it comes to fighting. He was doing this for the sake of his love for Seimei. For him not to feel the pain anymore, even though his body would be the big replacement for this treatment.

"S-Sensei…" Soubi blushed. The next day, everyone was surprised to see Soubi without ears. They weren't sure if what they've been thinking was true. But the big confusion was to see Seimei with ears. Either Seimei was the fault or Soubi's. Whenever they see Soubi's face, they couldn't tell what he was thinking. They thought that Soubi wasn't the person they met before. He changed a lot after that special treatment he had with his sensei. Nobody found out about it. But in a sudden…

"Seimei!" Soubi appeared from Seimei's back after class. His face was unnatural and very disappointed while Seimei didn't show any reaction

"Ah, Soubi-kun… what's wrong?" Seimei looked back at Soubi.

"Is there something wrong between us?" Soubi asked with hesitation and feared himself from an answer "Yes."

"Soubi-kun, if there's something wrong; I would tell you directly…" Seimei walked towards Soubi and tapped his shoulders and smiled

"Seimei…" Soubi murmured, when suddenly, Seimei caressed Soubi's head where his ears supposed to be, "Seimei!"

"Sensei did it, didn't he?" Seimei continued.

"Seimei I—"

"I thought I would be the first one…" Seimei looked away

"For me to endure the pain, I need to take the special treatment…"

Seimei chuckled, "Sensei… He's really funny… doing things that weren't supposed to be done"

"Anou, Seimei… aren't you affected?" Soubi asked

"Do I need to?" Seimei answered

"What do you mean?!"

"Just like what you said, you did it because for the sake of us… for the sake of your love…"

"That's true! I would do anything for Seimei…" Soubi, then, ran towards Seimei and kissed him, "…because Seimei is my life"

"Soubi"

-End of Flashback-

He stopped himself from reminiscing because the pain started to fill his mind again. It was already enough to be used and to be fooled. He already has somebody who'll treat him more as he wanted and who'll love him more than he expected, and that's Ritsuka. It would be a big sin for him if he wouldn't protect his Ritsuka. His scared to lose him, his scared to see Ritsuka in harm, that's why he would do everything for Ritsuka even if he'll lose his life.

Soubi stopped staring his canvas and returned his materials to its place. He cleaned his working place and decided to sleep already. He closed all the lights and lied down to his bed.

-----

The next day, a man with greenish hair and wide glasses came, holding a lot of plastic bags of soda drinks. He has a lot of piercing in his ears and he knocked after reaching the front door. "Aaah!" somebody screamed. The man, Kio, was surprised and panicked. "Sou-chan?" The screaming was heard again but this time it was louder. Kio dropped the bags and the soda cans rolled down the stairs.

"Sou-chan?!" Kio thought that Soubi might have been playing, and he felt jealous again "Hey Sou-chan! Open up the door!"

"Kio!" Soubi shouted his name.

"Soubi, you perverted man! What the heck are you doing right now?!" Kio demanded with imaginations in his mind as he slammed the door. Kio was in shocked when he saw Soubi lying on the floor with his body bent down in pain. He was holding his hair in tight while he was screaming for help

"Sou-chan, are you okay?! What's happening to you?! Hey Sou-chan" Kio ran towards him and helped him to stand up but Soubi fell down.

"Ri-Ritsuka…" Soubi murmured.

Kio was stopped, "Soubi…" he looked away and Soubi screamed again, "No! Wait, Soubi! I'll call an ambulance! Please hold on!"

"Ri-Ritsuka…" Soubi murmured again as he fainted.

"Huh… Sou-chan? Hey Sou-chan! Soubi!"

--End of chapter--