Disclaimer: I unfortunately own nothing :(.

Hey all! I stumbled across a small fic of this pairing the other day and thought that it was too cute a match to pass up. This is hopefully going to be a nice, humorous off-set to my other fic. Hope you all enjoy, let the Drama Queen-dom ensure!


Princes of the Universe : Chapter One

Typically I wouldn't consider myself a morning person- I even tried to appeal to Headmistress McGonagall in my third year that classes shouldn't be held so early as sleep is an integral part for any growing teen. Plus it is nearly impossible to look perfect each morning with such little prep before breakfast. Nearly. I boast the record of being one the best groomed and put together out of the entire Great Hall each morning for while my classmates are weary eyed and sluggish, I've already been up for over an hour in order to achieve perfection. Granted, the Headmistress shot down my appeal, but Merlin knows she could use a bit of extra time in the morning as well to tame that beehive she calls a bun and maybe invest in some of that wrinkle treatment Mama is so fond of.

Perfection is the only word I could use to describe my appearance after a proper session of getting ready. But there are those days, as infrequent as logical articles are published in the Quibbler, that my lack of being a morning person haunts me. It is those days, like today, that I cannot wait for classes to be over so I can pamper myself to cope with everyone seeing me outside of my prime.

I can feel people's eyes on me; disapprovingly picking apart my ponytail that was not expertly slicked back but ridden with awful cowlicks. I see their horror at the black circles lining my eyes from last night's lack of sleep due to a horrid History of Magic essay and me being unable to find my foundation this morning. I feel as if I am emanating a stench as, although I had washed this morning, I was unable to visit the Prefect's bathroom and take my bath that leaves me smelling like lavender. It's like being an exhibit in some horrid muggle zoo – Look children, there is Louis Weasley, he's typically a find specimen of the human male but you may want to stay away today lest you catch normalcy.

"Louis?"

"What?" I snarled, dropping my fork as breakfast suddenly became less appealing.

"Um…I was just gonna ask if you were going to eat your bacon," Albus said cautiously. When you come from such a large family, you tend to make forge a buddy system so that you always have a partner for whatever adventure or game comes up and you aren't left alone. Growing up, I was always the odd one out as I was in between the ages of the rest of my cousins. Since that buddy system carries over to school as well, I was worried who exactly I was going to end up with my first time leaving on Platform 9 ¾. Lycan and Lysander were godsends that year and when Albus arrived the following one, he and I became almost comically close since Rose was sorted into Ravenclaw.

"Sorry Al," I offered with an apologetic smile. "I'm not eating it, you can have it." Albus hungrily scooped the bacon off of my plate and started shoveling it into his mouth.

"Just so you know, you look fine," Albus said in between bites. My lips tightened in annoyance that I was so easy to read but I didn't let it show any other way. Instead, I ran a hand over the top of my head to make sure I didn't have any fly aways.

"I should never look just 'fine'," I replied. Albus scoffed, rolling his eyes. He never had to worry about such things as looks as we was the star Seeker for the house- build much wider and appearance more rugged than anything I'd ever go for. Yet it worked for him- mismatched clothing and all. I guess women didn't see clashing as an eyesore as much as my delicate self.

"Whatever Louis," Albus said with a chuckle. "If I looked like your 'fine' I'd be content with myself."

"I also don't accept contentment- there is always something more to achieve." That earned a full-fledged laugh from the brunette and despite my horror at being in public, I allowed myself a small grin. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed various members of the house look towards Albus and me, eyes admiring the pair of us as if any other morning. Maybe they also can't spot atrocities when they see one, I humored as a pretty Seventh Year caught my gaze and offered a large smile of her own.

The attention of the table was turned away from my cousin and I by the doors to the Hall opening with a commanding boom. Breakfast was halfway over and I was thankful that I was in a good viewing position as to who was the cause of such a late disturbance as craning for a look would be too conspicuous. My eyes narrowed as I recognized the one other person who could somewhat challenge me in a beauty contest, if Hogwarts ever hosted one.

"Well, looks like Malfoy had a good night," Albus joked, turning back to his food with an amused snort. Half the Hall went back to eating while the other half, myself included, watched the blonde saunter across the room with a half-smirk gracing his lips and a small brunette trailing beside him with a triumphant grin.

Hair purposefully and meticulously styled to be unruly and robes that fit him so well that the quality of the material was evident, the younger blonde looked exceptional. Once again, my hand made it's way through the top of my hair to make sure the unfinished locks were in place.

With hundreds of eyes on him, it seemed as if Malfoy could pinpoint my gaze specifically as he turned towards the Gryffindor table, smirk turning into a wolfish grin. Turning away as airily as I could muster with the state I was in, I made sure that he knew I was not impressed.

Somewhere along the line the two of us had fallen into a competition of sorts. It may have been egged on by our deep-rooted house rivalries, of maybe even because of our loyalty to our surnames, but it was most likely caused by the fact we both sought out the same partners. Since then, it has been a game of best dressed and preened with both of us having our victories in winning in the looks as well as the partners department. Although I was definitely accumulating more wins than he. Today, though, would not be one if that smile had anything to say about it.

I avoided leaving the Great Hall with any speed, wanting to avoid confrontation in my condition but the later it got the more it occurred to me I should have left already as he had arrived late and was never one to forgo a meal. Thankfully, Albus and his endless stomach offset my anxious waiting.

"Do you think I could use some of Dominique's hair straightening oils?" I questioned, noticing Albus was slowing down with his eating.

"I think Dominique doesn't even need her hair oils. Maybe give some to Rosie but your hair is already straight," Albus replied.

"It's wavy. That's a horrible in-between state that is neither straight or curly, like my hair just can't make up it's mind," I sighed in exasperation.

"I'm pretty sure it's straight," Albus repeated.

"As if Louis would know much of that," a familiar voice joked warmly. Both Albus and I looked towards the new addition to the conversation to be greeted by a childish smile from Albus's brother. While I usually would dive into an explanation of how my choice of partners is more mature and does not discriminate, I knew that it would be lost on James especially in his humorous state.

"It's scary how you have my little brother fashion savvy, Louis," James teased as he walked by, "Might give the ladies the wrong impression about him too." The elder Potter emphasized this by ruffling Albus's hair, earning a laugh from Fred and the blonde that accompanied them.

"Oh James, speaking of that, I have just the cream for you! Just got it in my monthly trial package from Witches Weekly- it's supposed to do wonders for warts," I teased. It was James's turn to scowl and the blonde laughed twice as hard this time. I turned my attention towards her, ignoring how messy I felt.

"I believe I also the perfect shade of blush for you Miss…?"

"Hartly."

"Miss Hartly. I get the samples for the creams- need to stay moisturized you know, and usually give the cosmetics to whichever of my cousins need it most. But this shade would bring out your complexion gorgeously. Summer Kiss; it's soft yet…radiant," I practically purred, keeping my eyes half-lidded to drive home my words. At this point, the girl was so entranced she must have forgotten we were only talking about make-up, which happened to be the plan all along.

"That sounds lovely," she responded breathily.

"Let's go Mellie," James ground out, grabbing the blonde's hand and forcefully dragging her out of the hall. When she glanced back, I was prepared with my most charming smile. As soon as they were gone, Albus burst out laughing.

"You are the only man I know who can sound seductive when talking about make up. If I ever tried that I'd just sound gay," Albus admired.

"And that, my dear cousin, is why you have me to defer women away from your short comings," I said with a smile.

"Oh shut up," Albus said, rising from his seat. "C'mon, we'll be late for class."

All I could do was hope that luck was on my side and Malfoy would be held up by something. Maybe that brunette from earlier would occupy him or he'd remember he forgot something in the dungeons or even-

"Weasley," his voice cut through the corridor smoothly, a deep tone that could only be appreciated once heard. And boy did it command attention.

Albus had turned to face his classmate before I did as I tried to bargain with whatever deities were listening that if he'd just leave me alone I would stop trying to convince Lorcan and Lysander that sharing me would only be a benefit to all three of us. Apparently whatever deities were listening felt that wasn't a very good bargaining chip or thought that a three-way relationship between myself and the other blondes was as brilliant as I thought it was for when I turned around Malfoy stood there with a smirk that matched his ego.

"Malfoy," I replied, flippantly enough yet with enough bite to convey I did not want the encounter. I almost smiled at how happy I was with how well my voice was controlled- just another step towards perfection.

"Rough night?" Scorpius inquired.

"Not as rough as yours, it seems," I shot back, shooting my most dazzling smile at the brunette flanking the other blonde. She scoffed but I could clearly see her blush before withdrawing further behind Malfoy.

"Pity then that you're letting yourself get away with…this," Scorpius motioned at me, "on a regular night."

"It's a new treatment, Malfoy," trying my best haughty tone. "Once a week you are supposed to abstain from any beauty rituals and go au natural- but with a light coating of this new oil to not only let your pores breathe but also prime them against future wrinkles. Similar treatment for hair, too. But I guess you can't be worrying about such things seeing as Malfoys tend to loose that aspect quickly, shame really."

"At least I can handle a day without product and still manage to look impeccable," Scorpius challenged, visibly ruffled by my remark.

"Oh? When it comes to inner beauty, Scorpius dear, I have that in spades," I said throatily, slowly closing the distance between us. "You? You have the heart of a snake. Pity no one would want a cold reptile."

"Or perhaps you'd just like to know how much a serpent could bring to the table," Scorpius replied, eyes twinkling deviously as he too closed the room between us to where we were both painfully aware of each other's presence in our personal space.

"I'll leave that," I whispered just loud enough for him to hear as I flicked my eyes over his shoulder to seek out the brunette, "to a serpent who could bring something to the table."

While the brunette couldn't hear our exchange, her face turned a deeper shade of red and I smirked at knowing she probably knew where the conversation was headed. Scorpius, on the other hand, looked murderous. My eyes lazily flicked back to his and for a moment we held each other in a silent challenge, breath beating down on each other's face.

"Err, guys? We need to go to class…" Albus interrupted. Scorpius tore his gaze away and I watched as he fixed Albus with his serpentine stare.

"I'll walk you to Defense Against the Dark Arts," Scorpius announced, more telling Albus what was going to happen than giving him an option.

"I can make it there on my own, thanks," Albus said awkwardly, shooting me a look of unease. I just shrugged, turning my gaze back to the brunette, who was now glaring angrily at the back of Scorpius's head.

"Nonsense, I'll walk you," Scorpius insisted, maneuvering past me with a slight brush of the shoulders before leading Albus off. "Enjoy your day Weasley. Oh and don't make a habit of that new treatment."

"I don't think she's complaining," I replied, not watching whatever show Scorpius was trying to put on with Albus as I kept my eye's trained on the brunette. The girl must have realized I was referring to her and she looked back up at me with a wide eyed gaze.

The sound of the pair leaving paused, and I could practically hear Scorpius's mind going as he thought which would be more crucial to lose- Albus or the girl.

"She's not too picky," Scorpius finally responded.

"No, I would suppose not if she keeps company with you." With that, the footsteps picked back up and although neither of us really won this encounter, at least it wasn't as disastrous as I had imagined. Besides, when we had been up close I had noticed how his hair wasn't as well done as usual.

Deciding to keep up the role, I closed the distance between the girl and myself, tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear. Her looks were not nearly as well maintained as the blonde who just left but I trained myself not to grimace at her split ends.

"Pity you're loyal to Malfoy. Have a nice day."

"Louis," she said as I made to leave.

"Hm?" I asked, arching one eyebrow at the Slytherin's use of my first name.

"My name is Bella," she said with a smile too big for her face.

"That's nice but unfortunately us Weasley's don't do well with women by that name. I hope you forgive me but I must be getting to class," with a final smile, I hurried off to History of Magic to hand in the essay that had resulted in the disaster of a morning.

"Oh, okay, but if you ever want a date for Hogsmeade I'm free," she called after me, and I couldn't hold in a chuckle as half the people in the corridor turned to look at who made the Parkinson girl act so out of character. Maybe I had won this one.


Although I make reference to both with girls, it will be very minor/if all referred rather than in passing. But encounters with other boys is completely fair game ;). Stay tuned for more Queen-ness!