This is based on Ruth Winters and what I picture her childhood to maybe have been like. I know it's probably quite rubbish. If it's half as good as my half-sister says it is I'll be pleased because I know she's biased…

For Dad, you were way better than Ruth's dad! Xxx


I wake up. Not to the sound of church bells or birds or even to an alarm clock. I wake to the sound of a crash; to the sound of my dad swearing.

He's drunk.

I can tell.

I can always tell.

I creep to the door, careful to avoid the wobbly floorboard; careful not to wake my brother, and slowly poke my head round.

He's there, practically crawling up the stairs, using the banister to support himself. I can see it wobbling precariously, looking like it's about to break at any moment. I can see him, faltering and I reach out to save him…

W-what? I can hear… beeping. I wrestle with my eyes, trying to prise my eyelids apart but it's no use. I lie still, not that I could move if I wanted to and think.

What happened to me?

Then the penny drops and comes back to me, hazy memory by hazy memory… dad… drunk… banister…

Ahh… it all becomes clear and I begin to worry about Dad, though I don't know why I should- he wouldn't worry about me, he wouldn't care.

But I don't want to be like him.

I'm not like him, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not.

I didn't kill mum, I didn't drive her to it, did I?

It wasn't my fault, it wasn't my fault.

'Alright, Ruthie?'

I hear the voice of my brother, Jonathon but he doesn't sound concerned, in fact, he sounds vaguely amused.

'Mmph' I murmur, unable to get a proper sound out of my mouth

'I'll take that as a 'yes'' said Jonathon, cheerfully and as I listen to his footsteps slowly get further away and I know that I'll never have a normal, loving family who watch over me and look after me; there's no chance of that happening.


Reviews welcome!

By Elly xxx