Thanks in advance for reading my story. I hope you enjoy reading it almost as much as I loved writing it. It takes place a few days after season 2's finale. I feel there were so many things left unsaid, this is my take on it.

Disclaimer: Nope I do not own Nikita or any of the characters although man I surely wish I did.


He had lost count of how much time he had spent whispering words nobody would hear; promising tales of vengeance to his ever present ghosts and endlessly apologizing for what had happened. He knew he only said it out loud for him, maybe hearing those words would ease his burdens but often he found that nothing was able to get him out of his misery and everlasting guilt. Although now, he doesn't remember when was the last time he stood there in front of it. It was so familiar yet so strange, as if it belonged in another lifetime.

"Michael?" Her soft voice brought him back to reality.

He turn to meet her eyes and he could see the concern in them. Her playful smile had vanished the moment he drove into the mausoleum's parking lot, instead confusion was written all over her face. It was the same place he had been to a thousand times before, but something had changed. She was the reason it felt so different. For the first time he stood there with a peaceful heart, he was there because of her and not for his tortured soul. His lips curved slightly at the thought and he gently squeezed her hand giving her the reassurance she clearly needed.

"After Percy brought me to Division I found that I couldn't cope with this new life he had given me, nothing seemed real" He paused for a second to stare at the white tomb with neatly carved letters that read: 'Michael, Elizabeth and Haley West'. "Every morning felt like everything had just been a bad dream and I just kept waiting for Beth to reach over for me in bed and for Haley to burst into the room laughing. It happened right in front of my eyes and still I kept waiting for the nightmare to be over." His voice calm and even.

Nikita stood there speechless. The walls Michael had so carefully built around him were crumbling to pieces in front of her incredulous eyes. He had his heart opened for her to see, giving her every last piece of him. She took a deep shaky breath as he continued.

"A few months later I decided I needed to do this, even though I knew their bodies were not in here it gave me some sort of composure. A chance to lift even a gram of weight off my shoulders. I had to tell them how sorry I felt and how I was going to avenge them so I could finally join them wherever they were." He let out a soft chuckle, it seemed so silly.

"I always felt that here laid the last piece of my humanity, like I was a living ghost and that the true Michael had died along with them. The way it should had been." His eyes still lost in the white marble.

Nikita sight was fixed to the ground trying so hard to hide the pain those words caused her. "Michael, don't.." her voice barely above a whisper.

" That was of course until you came along". He continued almost ignoring her previous words. A small smile spread across his face as he beamed at her. Attempting to ease her distress and erase those worried lines plastered on her beautiful features.

"A handful of trouble" He declared jokingly . "That was the way I described you the first of many times I spoke to her about you"

"I think that may be a bit of an understatement" she did not try to hide her sudden amusement.

"Yeah tell me about it. You drove me crazy. Still kind of do".

The last confession earned him a slight jab on his ribs and a pretend offended look. He laughed softly while letting go of her hand so he could wrap it around her waist, pulling her closer to him.

"As time went by Kasim, Percy, division and all of that just kind of went to the back of my mind whenever I was here. Instead your name was the one I caught myself repeating. Stories about your training and the missions we had together. Mainly I let out my frustrations of how you seemed to never listen to me. But somehow I respected that, no matter how deep you got inside that hell hole you never lost your uniqueness or humanity. You were so brave... you are so brave." His eyes gleaming with pride.

"Michael... I" She struggled for words, not sure how to reply. Thankfully for her Michael carried on with his story.

"Do you know when I first realize that I was irrevocably in love with you?" He asked and she just shook her head, not even trying to guess.

"It was after the Boston mission in '06. You decided against wearing a kevlar because it could've compromised your cover and I guess you felt like you were Wonder woman or something because you definitely acted like her. And of course, you got shot, it was bound to happen really. You flew way to close to the sun on that one". His teeth clenching as those last words escaped his mouth. She could actually sense his frustration when he carried on.

"God I was so mad at you, you couldn't care less about your safety and that just killed me." He said that now with a softer voice while she just stared at her feet, guilt suddenly consuming her.

He lost his hold on her and started to reach for something in his pocket. "I took you back to medical and after I was sure that you were out of danger I came here". He gently took her hand and placed something small but heavy in her opened palm. It was a slug that was attached to a key chain. She looked up at him with quizzical eyes and he answered her unspoken question.

"I've had it since that day. I was standing right here clutching the thing that could've ended your life." Tears were beginning to sting her eyes, threatening to fall at any second. "I promised myself that I would protect you, the way I couldn't protect them" He gazed the tomb for a second. "I just would not allow losing you too, one does not simply mend that kind of heart break twice." He sighed.

As Nikita glanced at the object in her hand a strange sense of understanding was setting upon her. Michael's hopeful eyes were searching her face when she finally had the courage to respond.

"Michael" Nikita spoke quietly and unsure. "Why did you wait so long to tell me all this? I mean , why didn't you tell me when we were still in Division? We could've figured something out." Her voice was cracking when she whispered. "I needed you so badly".

He was hesitant as how to respond. Instead he took her hand and led her to a nearby garden. Sitting down so they could face each other he replied.

"At first I thought it was guilt. I never thought I could love anyone the way I did Lizzie" Her breath was caught in her throat and she averted his gaze praying for Michael not to notice. "It didn't take long to know that wasn't the reason." His hand reached for her chin, making her face him. "I knew she loved me and would've hated the person I was becoming." He smirked before adding. "I could imagine her scolding me and giving me the push I needed to just run to your arms."

Nikita couldn't hold it any longer. Tears were now flowing freely down her tanned cheeks. " The reason why I closed myself to you was because" He hesitated for a second. "Nikki I was a broken man. You did not deserve the kind of baggage I carried."

She just fixed her eyes on him, unbelieving. Her mouth open but unable to form words. Before she could argue he continued.

"There were so many things going on and my judgment was clouded. I wanted you to be happy. Be someone else's first and only love, someone that could give you everything I couldn't". He was suddenly struggling for words.

Nikita finally shook off her shock and snapped. "But I didn't want anybody else, I wanted you! Don't you get it? I always wanted you. And how can you say anything about undeserving, I mean do you know me?" She was panting now and even though she didn't see the point in arguing about it at this point in their relationship she just couldn't hide her anger.

Michael tenderly took her hand in both of his and fixing his eyes on hers replied. "Stop that. What else do you need to do to prove to yourself the kind of person you are? It doesn't matter anymore what happened in the past, the important thing is that we are one now and nothing will ever tear us apart. And even though I may not be able to give you a white picket fence house with a bunch of kids running around I promise that I will do anything in my power to make you the happiest you can be for the rest of your life".

She was absent mindedly caressing his hand with her thumb. Giving him a small smile that didn't completely meet her eyes. That fear of losing him kept tearing her heart to pieces. Even if it were by the hands of enemies or the other thousand things that could go wrong in their lives.

For a second she contemplated the idea that he might be able to read her mind because just as those thoughts were creeping up on her he leaned forward and planted a sweet kiss on her cheek. His now salty lips traveled to within inches of hers and his breath tickled when he continued.

"I know things have not been easy for us and I'm not sure if I can guarantee that they will ever be. One thing I can promise though is that I am not running away, not again and not ever." His body instinctively moved closer to her and his grip was iron tight. His body language confirming what his words meant.

"I am not running away, not ever" She repeated his words and with that she closed the thin gap between them and gave him a chaste kiss on his lips.

After a few 'I love you's were exchanged he tenderly settled his hand on her neck and rested his forehead against hers. They stayed that way for a second.

Out of nowhere and with a new determination he stood up and pulled her with him. Linking her hand with his he stated;

"Okay then, let's go home. There is a nerd there waiting for his ass to be kicked. We wouldn't want to keep him waiting". Nikita's jaw dropped and she laughed at the decisive look on Michael's face.

"You can't be serious" She said holding back a snort.

"Oh I'm dead serious! You can't expect me to forget about it. And I'm sorry missy but those lips belong to me until I'm at least six feet under. Are we clear?". A playful sparkle in his eyes waiting for her response.

"Crystal".


A/N: There you have it. I apologize for any grammar or coherence mistakes that I'm sure are around. English is not my native tongue :) I do my best though. If you liked it be sure to let me know.

Love.

Ade.