It was the sixth morning that neither of them had turned up for work. Admittedly, 007 was on leave after recently returning from overseas, and usually they turned a blind eye if Q happened to disappear around the same time. But six days was pushing it, and so Moneypenny had been sent by M to pull them away from one another and back to MI6.
"Q? Q, answer this door right now. And if Bond's there, he best come out too. I'll stay here all day, I'm not going back to HQ without at least one of you. Q, open this door you complete and utter-"
Moneypenny's incessant pounding on the door was cut off when it opened suddenly. The boy that now stood in front of her was certainly not Q. Or Bond. He was tall, (tall enough that even Eve in her stilettos was forced to look up), olive-skinned and covered in some rather violent acne. The boy looked down at her with a surly, calculating expression, before standing aside and gesturing her indoors.
"You called Dad 'Q' so I guess you're from work? Come in. Try and be quiet though, he's crashed out on the sofa and I've only just settled Molly. She's a shit when she's ill. Father's in town, collecting the million prescriptions we've got going."
If it weren't for her training, Moneypenny would have gaped and stuttered out her reply. "Sorry, 'Dad'?! No offence kid, but you look nothing like Q. And he's gay. No, this is ridiculous. Where's Q, who are you working with?" Her hands strayed towards the gun holstered at her hip, but she stopped when the boy just rolled his eyes with a smirk.
"Try it. I bet I can reach mine first." He pulled aside the grotty band t-shirt to show the pistol shoved haphazardly into the waistband of his jeans. "Don't tell Dad, but Father never leaves me unprotected when he goes out." Laughing at the amazed expression on her face, the boy turned his back and headed towards the kitchen. "Coffee? You look like you need to sit down."
Eve just followed blindly. It was only as she sat down on a stool in the cluttered kitchen that she started to look around. The double doors of the silver fridge was covered in drawings of varying degrees of talent, letters with official-looking mastheads, certificates of different colours. The sink was full of plastic cups and plates, one cupboard had what looked like a jammy hand print on it, and there was a high chair shoved in a corner.
"Done looking around? Right. Uh, I'm Evan." The young man offered his hand to Moneypenny, who shook it, trying to bring herself back to reality. She was passed a chipped, but steaming, coffee mug next. She clung to it like a lifeline. "Dad and Father-that's Q and James, I guess-adopted me when I was eleven. Eight years ago, this March." He smiled winningly at Eve, who quickly began to see the traits Evan had picked up from each of his parents.
"Okay. Nice to meet you, Evan. I'm Eve. Who's Molly?", questioned Moneypenny, trying to regain some control over the situation.
Evan, however, just shook his head. "Let me do it in order or I'll never get through everyone. Uh, so after me they adopted Sophie. She was nine."
At that, a short girl with a hasty ponytail and tattered Converse leaned into the kitchen. "She was nine, and now she's very late for college. I'll see you later, Evan. Nice to meet you, woman-who-can-only-be-Eve. Ciao!" With a cheery wave, the girl grabbed a bottle of water from the counter and rushed out the room again.
"Sorry. It's a bit mad here today, what with the kids being ill." Evan shrugged after waving to his sister. "So that's Sophie, seventeen now. Then there's Mark and Steve, the twins. Fifteen. They're at boarding school right now with Lily, she's fourteen, and Oscar. Oscar's the first one who's from a surrogate-he's biologically Dad's. Then Alfie and Alisha, they're both Father's…ten and eight. R is Father's as well, and finally Molly is Dad's." With an exaggerated deep breath, Evan grinned, looking back at Eve. "Do you want it written down? Most people do."
Moneypenny just shook her head slowly, looking dazed. "I never thought 007, of all people, would have a flat full of kids. And Q…well, we all had bets that he was some sort of crazy cat man."
At that, Evan let out a laugh. "Uh, no. Dad's, like, deathly allergic to cats. Lily takes it as a personal insult that she's never been allowed a kitten." He paused to yawn, then grimaced. "Sorry. Like I said, it's mad here. I'm on holiday thank God, otherwise they'd never be able to cope."
He was interrupted by a voice from behind the pair. "That's far from the truth. You're usually the one getting in the way." Bond smiled at his son-the term was odd in Eve's mind-as he walked into the kitchen. Resting one hand on the boy's shoulder, he held out his other, palm flat. Evan rolled his eyes but pulled the gun casually from his waistband and placed it in Bond's hand. Apart from that small interaction Evan ignored James, continuing to talk to Eve.
"Yeah, so I'm on holiday until next week. Molly got chicken pox, R caught it from her, and Alisha from him. Alfie broke his ankle and wrist a fortnight ago, so he's stuck here in the plague house too." Looking up at his father, Evan spoke quickly. "Dad's asleep on the sofa, has been for about twenty minutes. Molly's only just gone down-in your bed though, sorry. Alfie's in the front room with his DS and toolkit, Alisha and R are both dead to the world still, but R's temperature is up again."
Bond's eyes softened as he listened to his son's matter-of-fact tone, nodding when expected. Eve pretended not to notice, though she couldn't help the small smile that appeared on her lips. "Why 'R'?", she asked, the first of many questions all jostling for space in her mind.
Bond answered this time, pouring himself a coffee and sitting across from her. "Once he realised his Dad is called Q, he refused to be called by his full name-Reece. Said we had to call him R so he can be just like his Dad." With another fond smile (and Eve was sure parenting was meant to add years to people but James had never looked as young and fulfilled as he did while discussing his children) he added, "Surprising really, as he's biologically mine. Yet somehow he's the most like Q. At the moment, anyway."
Evan laughed, gesturing out the door. "Yeah, and the smartarse ten year old out there who broke three bones trying to protect his baby sister is the most like you."
The laughter passed on to the two adults when a quiet but determined voice called back "Oi! I heard that! The other kids look worse than this!"
Eve's eyes twinkled as she looked at Bond. "He really does sound like you. All you double-ohs, actually. 'You should have seen the other guy.'" She pulled out her phone and began typing. "I'm telling M there's no one here. You have maybe three days before one of you has to make an appearance at HQ, at least." She put her phone back in her bag and stood, almost breaking into giggles at the near identical expressions of confusion masked behind overconfidence she was greeted with. She reached to shake Evan's hand, and then kissed Bond's cheek.
"I'll come back tonight. With pizza. I want to meet the rest of your kids, James, and frankly I'm pissed you've never mentioned them before. Good morning, boys." With a nod and a smirk, she turned smartly on her heel and left the room.
Evan turned to look at his father. "Jesus, how did you turn gay when you were working with her every day?!" Bond just smacked him around the back of the head and walked into the front room to check on his sleeping brood.
Please R&R! And leave ideas for me to write-I really want to return to these kids.
