Patricia's POV:
I sat on the floor of my "almost" old room. It was my final year and I only had 3 weeks till graduation. I had all the stress of finals but I just couldn't find it in myself to care. Sure, I wanted to get into a good college, but there were other things. Actually only one other thing. Eddie. We had broken up two days ago when I told him we wouldn't last during college. I knew it wasn't true, but I had to. I didn't want to hold him back. College was when you find new people. Fall in love for real. Eddie thought I was joking, but I guess he figured out I wasn't when a tear slid down my face. I had left. He's been trying to talk to me but I can't. He needs my encouragement to get into college and fall in love with someone prettier and more normal and perfect.
I had cried myself to sleep yesterday and it hurt. Joy and Mara didn't know. When I wouldn't talk and zoned out they thought it was hormones or something so they tried comforting me and then left when I wouldn't speak. I wanted them to stay, but I didn't want to look weak. So I went into the bathroom and cried. I slept on the marble floor and nobody cared. I guess it was time to move out of this dump. My best friend who I saved from a horrible fate found a new best friend and a boyfriend. Mara wasn't really my friend. Alfie was more of a brother, and it would be awkward if I cried in front of him. Same for Jerome. Nina and Amber were gone. Willow kind of scared me and KT would always be on Eddie's side. I was alone.
I guess I never had a friend in this place. Jerome, Eddie, and Alfie were my friends but I let them go. Everybody else was someone I loved with no love in return. KT was okay, but she was hard to talk to. Nina was someone I would never talk to about this and Amber would be crying because there was no more "Peddie". So, I really didn't. Nobody loved me back because I was different. I guess all I was just the goth girl who doesn't give a shit for anyone else and shuts everybody out. It was true though.
I got up from the floor and went to the bathroom. I wiped the smeared mascara on my face and fixed my uniform. I fixed my makeup and put a little extra eyeliner on so that everybody stayed away from me. My makeup showed signs. Very little meant people could talk to me and I wouldn't get mad. A lot of eye liner and dark makeup meant stay away or get hurt. Only a normal amount of mascara and some lip gloss meant I was happy or excited for something. The list goes on.
I went downstairs and sat down. Alfie looked at me and widened his eyes at me. I hadn't worn very dark make up since Eddie and I started dating other then one exception where I was going to a concert with Eddie. Jerome, Mara, and Joy had the same reaction. They knew that I had punched people the last time I had this much makeup on. It was because my parents were getting a divorce. People were making fun of me and I had gotten into a fight with one particular jock. I had pinned him down because he was making fun of me and then came up to me and said, "Awww, is the cute girl going real goth again. What happened Trixie?". While I didn't want any trouble and just glared at him, he simply kept pushing my buttons. That's when I kicked him in the stomach and pinned him. While I was congratulated for hurting the strongest kid in school, I wasn't proud of it. I had anger issues and had hid it from the world since I was seven. And a meathead jock got it out of me. I was pissed.
Here I am again, shutting myself out. I didn't want to, but I needed to. I was just going to study and get into Oxford like my dad had planned. I had the grades, but I needed to focus if I wanted it.
"Are you okay?" Joy asked sympathetically.
I just glared at her. Of course I'm not okay. I broke up with my amazing boyfriend and she had left me for her nerd of a friend.
"Ya Trixie, we don't want you killing one of us today." Jerome joked.
I took my glare from Joy to him and he put his hands up in surrender. I grabbed a muffin and left. I couldn't take them looking at me like that. Eddie wasn't there surprisingly but I didn't care. Until I looked at him. He walked out of his room, his face tearstained and bags under his eyes. I took my eyes off of him and ran outside before he could notice me. I was done.
Cliffhanger! Tell me what you think! Please review!
