Karekano – As It Was

He watched her from across the room


She didn't think she would ever see him again, and yet, she couldn't quite feel surprised that he was standing across the room from her beside Asaba, staring at her like he'd just seen a ghost.

If anything, he was the ghost.

It felt like a lifetime ago, like another lifetime, when her mother handed her the letter he wrote her, and the pain of his words, of his goodbye and empty explanations had become dull and easy to ignore, especially after she wrote him back, the last time they ever contacted one another. She still had his letter, buried in her closet with some of the things she still kept from when they were young and in love, but she hadn't read it in years.

God, but he looked good. Haunted and somehow old, however still handsome enough to make everyone look at him in awe. Of course people still remembered him, Arima, the most amazing boy they ever met, just like they still remembered her, and with Asaba by his side, it was difficult not to notice him, even if he hadn't been shooting looks at her.

Why had he even bothered? He still talked to Asaba, she was pretty sure even though she had hardly seen much of the now famous artist, and he had written her a letter and nothing more in the years since he up and left, and he had certainly never quite made friends with anyone in school, not real, longlasting friendships, in any case. Did he wish to rub his success in their faces? Had he changed that much? He looked successful, though she had no idea what he'd gone into. Once, he told her about his family, how everyone expected him to become a doctor, and she wondered if he'd gone through with it, if even all the way across the ocean, he had tried to make him parents proud of him.

Somewhat bitterly, she thought he likely had. After running from home (from her, from them), she had no doubts he would have anything he possibly could in order to be a good son.

Sure, a good son who disappeared for days on end only to run off to America without a word. Of course, she knew his parents had to know what had really happened, but she didn't. His letter had been cold, and when she first read it, she couldn't remember the last time he was like that, and explained little to nothing about his reasons for moving to America. In truth, she would have accepted that he had decided America offered him better opportunities, because she would have taken them if given the chance, or maybe that he wanted to build a relationship with the father who abandoned him, she could certainly understand that, and that in any event, he didn't want to promise to keep in contact with her when he didn't know when he would be able to return and resume their relationship (if ever).

Anything, but meaningless words that explained little and only made her believe with everything she had that their love was nothing to him.

So she picked herself up, and continued living. Arima didn't care enough to say his goodbyes in person? She certainly was not going to sit around crying, no, she would do everything it took to become a great adult, someone she could feel proud of, she would be as focus as she had been before she fell in love with him. She would the kind of woman who didn't miss a boy like Arima.

"So, he came" - Maho commented from Yukino's elbow - "Didn't think Asaba would manage to drag him over"

"I suppose" - the dark haired beauty looked at her seriously.

"Are you going to talk to him?"

"Why should I? We are nothing to one another now"

"Not anymore"

"What is that supposed to mean?" - Maho shrugged.

"Nothing. Just that he's here, and I doubt it's to see Asaba and people he barely traded two words with some ten years ago"

"It doesn't matter, I don't want to talk to him"

"Are you sure?"

"There's nothing he could tell me that I would like to hear from him" - Maho looked at her then nodded.

"As long as I don't have to hear about it later"

"I've never talked about him with you"

"It's never too late to start, and I don't want it"

"... Don't worry"

Yukino looked back to where Arima was, but he wasn't there anymore. Asaba was still rooted in place, however he suddenly looked tired, and looked away quickly when he noticed her.

For a moment she wondered if she should go after Arima after all, maybe demand a full explanation so that they could finally have some degree of closure.

Instead she blinked and shook her head.


A sequel, or side story to As It Is. I should write a third story to wrap it up, however I'm not sure when I'll get around to it.