So, I wrote this story late last week in a notebook while laying outside in the sun (never knew Canada could be this warm), something I've NEVER been able to do.. always only written on a computer.
The idea just sort of popped into my head and I had to write it down... I know it's completely OOC but as I said, just wrote it down on a whim (sp?)... Haven't even read it through after besidescopying it onto the computer (and don't really pay attention to that).
Anyways, there are 2 more chapters to this that I'll post if people want them..
(and nope, English is NOT my first language, so I guarantee you that there will be some mistakes..)
Now, ENJOY!
The soft click of his front door quietly getting pushed shut was something Gibbs had grown accustomed to over the past decade of working with NCIS. His door was always open, no matter what time of the day, and over the years this fact seemed to have become common knowledge, not only to those close to him but to everyone who knew about Leroy Jethro Gibbs, and within the US intelligence community that seemed to be just about everyone. That didn't mean he got visits very often, however, as he very rarely saw anyone but his team in his basement during these occasional night time visits, with the rare appearance of a federal agency director or the SecNav, so the almost undetectable trace on unfamiliar footsteps making their way through his house was enough to make Gibbs' hand still completely in the middle of sanding his latest project.
He didn't turn around to face the stairs, though, not even when he heard the door to the basement open and close or when his guest slowly descended the creaky wooden stairs – maybe fixing those should become his next project, considering how often he himself used them – instead he emptied out one of his multiple big glass jars before filling it with a gracious amount of bourbon, preparing himself for the yet unknown talk coming up.
When he finally did turn to face his visitor he had to force himself not to show his surprise at the person sitting on the bottom steps.
"Special Agent Gibbs." Though Gibbs figured he really shouldn't be surprised that the CIA knew where he lived, he still hadn't expected to see this specific man in his house. "Ziva… She told me about going here… Or well, about how your door is open for people." The younger man sounded uncertain, scared even, and Gibbs suspected that he was at least slightly drunk, but couldn't be certain until he spoke some more or at least looked up from his hands which hung folded between his legs, elbows resting on his knees.
"It is." He leaned back against his workbench, taking a sip of his preferred alcohol as he studied the man before him. He honestly did not know how to feel about the CIA agent. Not only did he generally not like anyone working for intelligence agencies, not believing them to be trustworthy at all, but he had only met the guy once and that hadn't been enough to determine what kind of man he was. Gibbs knew, however, that until very recently he had managed to make Ziva happy, something that definitely wasn't an easy task, especially after the events a few years back, and that did earn him the privilege of at least being given a chance.
Besides, he was here now, in Gibbs' basement, looking completely defeated. If he was that big of a bastard he wouldn't be here, because it definitely wasn't case related. Not even the Port-To-Port killer would have a CIA agent coping like this.
"I would offer you a drink, but I'm guessing you might have had enough for the night." While it was phrased as a statement rather than a question, Gibbs still saw the snort coming from the young man on the stairs for what it was: confirmation that his suspicion was correct.
"I managed to stay away from the booze for the first ten days. Pretty sure I've been drunk none-stop for the past week, though." For the first time since arriving at the practically stranger's house that night he looked up to meet Gibbs' eyes, but the team leader wasn't surprised at the least that he seemed to be somewhere else entirely. "She won't return any of my phone calls or my texts. I think she even blocked my email." The last part was uttered as a dry chuckle, but both men knew there was no humor in it whatsoever.
"Probably did." He wasn't trying to make the CIA agent hurt even more than he obviously already did, but he wasn't going to lie to the man either, and knowing Ziva and how practical she liked to be, however irrational it might be, he couldn't see her allowing her inbox to get filled up with emails she didn't intend to read and only serve to constantly remind her of what was going on.
"I'm sorry… I…" Ray was shaking his head and waving the hand not pinching the bridge of his nose around in the air as if gesturing to the words he could not find, and Gibbs wasn't sure whether he was apologizing for telling so much while almost breaking down, if he saw Gibbs' short reply as being annoyed about his presence there or if it was something else completely, but he wasn't going worry about that.
"Don't apologize…"
"I know. Sign of weakness!" The marine allowed a small smirk to momentarily cross his lips at the interruption, quickly deciding against letting his late night visitor know that that wasn't what he had planned on saying, but rather that there really was no need to apologize.
"She tells you a lot." The discovery surprised Gibbs more than he would've suspected. Yes, she definitely wasn't the same person he had met almost 6 years ago, far from it in fact, especially after everything with Somalia, but he still had trouble imagining an open, carefree Ziva who shared things about her life with anyone else, regardless of who they were. He couldn't help but feel slightly relieved at this piece of news, though, and he suspected that this information would have managed to even cheer him up under different circumstances.
"In a way." Gibbs raising his eyebrow was enough to make the still intoxicated man crack and continue talking. "She has no problem talking about any of you guys or NCIS, she tells me everything about that, but she never talks about her past or her family, and I'm fine with that, that stuff doesn't matter if she doesn't want it to." Gibbs really wasn't sure what to think about that. While he admired the guy for caring enough about his team member to not let anything but who she was now matter, and she obviously meant a lot to him, Gibbs also realized that that that lack of knowledge and insight was the culprit of this whole mess.
And that's what he would put his focus on for now, instead of his own feelings of dread over Ziva apparently supressing everything rather than working through it as he'd hoped, seemingly not nearly as healed as he'd believed. But he'd push those thoughts to the back of his mind for now to dwell upon once he was alone.
"What do you know about her?" When Ray finally made real eye contact with Ziva's boss, the confusion in his eyes was unmistakeable. "About her past."
"Just that she used to be Mossad, that her father is the director." As genuine as he seemed, Gibbs had trouble believing that was all the CIA agent knew. He was after all CIA, and what investigator or intelligence operative would settle for something like that when they had the means to uncover practically everything?
"And you haven't done any digging?" To the man's …, Gibbs had to admit that he really looked disdained just at the thought of going behind Ziva's back to gain any information, but after the first few minutes of shock at the unexpected question he almost looked ashamed.
"I guess I have, kind of." Now it was Gibbs' turn to be confused, and his hard stare sure didn't hide the fact. "When I first met her in Miami." He knew it wasn't enough of an explanation, so he took a deep breath before he tried to explain himself.
"She intrigued me; she seemed so different, so mysterious." Gibbs couldn't argue with that, so he just gave a short nod to make the man continue. "So I mentioned her to some colleagues, just her name and nothing else, and they all looked at me as if they'd seen a ghost. Cause apparently Ziva David is quite famous within the intelligence world." Gibbs had to fight not to snort at that comment but couldn't prevent the smile from appearing on his face. It was no secret that Ziva was good, one of the best in Mossad when it was still her entire life, and the operation that got compromised a while back because the terrorists knew her identity just proved exactly how well known she was.
The younger man's sigh signalled that his story was over, and once again Gibbs just raised an eyebrow.
"If that is the extend of your digging I think you're in the clear." Gibbs' statement didn't manage to make the other man look any less torn, though. "Although I find it hard to believe that anyone with your resources hasn't tried to obtain more information, especially after what your colleagues told you."
"I just figured that something must have happened to make her leave it behind. And that she would tell me if she felt it was important." Gibbs felt like banging his head against something. This guy was so head over heels in love with Ziva that it was clouding his judgement way worse than it should. And despite how happy he was to see someone finally caring this much about the woman he considered a daughter, he knew it wasn't enough.
Everyone knew that relationships were far from Gibbs' strongest talent, so it even surprised himself how much he actually wanted to help sort this out and get through to the man in front of him, but at the same time he really didn't want to share anything about Ziva. The girl had been hurt too much in her short life, and Gibbs didn't want to be added to the already long list of people who'd betrayed her trust.
"Why'd you come here, Agent Cruz?" He seemed to contemplate the question for a while before shrugging his shoulders dejectedly.
"I'm not sure. Guess I was just looking for some answers and somehow hoping to find them here."
"What happened?" Gibbs had resigned himself to the fact that he would have to help in some way, if not for the sanity of the two people currently occupying his basement, then for Ziva, because he had really enjoyed seeing her happy and he didn't want to lose that again. But to help he needed to her the other side of the story, cause so far all he knew was that Ray had supposedly lied to Ziva.
"She thinks I lied to her. She thinks I was just using her as a back-up plan." He had to close his eyes as he recited the words she'd said herself a few weeks prior. Normally he would never be this open about his problems, least of all with a stranger, but there was just too much alcohol in his system.
Gibbs had to suppress his need to scream at someone or kick or hit something at Ray's admission. He really didn't need to be reminded about how similar this all sounded to most of Ziva's other relationships.
"I actually told her I loved her but she wouldn't believe me. Said she couldn't trust me." The knuckles on both of his hands were white clenching his fists so hard. "She even thought I have something going on with Agent Barrett, just because I've been working with her on the port-to-port killer for some time." The last sentence was said in a laugh, proving just how ridiculous Ray himself thought that was, but Gibbs wasn't amused at all.
"And does she have reason to believe any of those things?"
"No! Or well I guess some of it is justified concerns, but none of it is true. At least not intentionally." The last part was mumbled barely loud enough for Gibbs to hear it, but he instantly knew that the CIA agent was referring to the part about him keeping things from Ziva.
"She doesn't trust easily. You of all people should be able to understand that." Gibbs really tried to share as little information as possible, attempting to stick to what should be obvious to the man that was so in love with her.
"I do understand that, Agent Gibbs, I really do. I know that trust isn't handed out easily in our world, but I figured she left that behind when she left Mossad." As he spoke, even Ray seemed to realize just how naive it really sounded. "Although I guess I guess it is one of those things that are hard to let go once it's instilled in you to such an extent."
Gibbs was starting to suspect that maybe Ray was just really naïve rather than oblivious as he'd previously thought. Considering how madly in love with Ziva he seemed to be it somehow made sense that he subconsciously intentionally overlooked all signs that something was off, refusing to believe that she wasn't perfectly happy and normal. And the older man knew that it would be impossible for Ray not to know about the excessive amount of scars undoubtedly covering Ziva's body or the nightmares he knew still haunted her occasionally. Heck, Gibbs was surprised she'd even managed a relationship this serious considering how hard it was for her to trust anyone.
"She's got trust issues, Ray, and they extend way past Mossad or assassin or spy training." He added the last part, knowing that training alone wasn't enough to create trust issues this bad, but having it practically beaten into you from the time you learn to walk as Ziva most likely had and then having people betray that trust the few times it was given unfortunately seemed to do the trick.
"Why?" As much as Gibbs knew the guy cared he couldn't give him the answer he so desperately wanted.
"That isn't my answers to give you, but Ziva's." The team leader hadn't thought the defeated look on Ray's face could get any worse, but it did, and Gibbs knew exactly why. Ziva couldn't really answer anything since she was currently ignoring him.
Sensing that the conversation wouldn't be able to progress further without Gibbs spilling secrets that really weren't his to share, he returned the now empty glass jar to the workbench and picked up his discarded sander, turning back to the toy box he was currently building for Amira.
He didn't acknowledge the man still seated quietly behind him on the stairs, and while he knew there wasn't really anything to add to their conversation and him returning to his work could easily be considered as dismissing the confused, heartbroken man, he never completely blocked him out in case he did choose to continue talking.
It was more than half an hour later before Gibbs heard the squeaking sounds of footsteps ascending the stars, alerting him to the fact that his visitor was finally leaving. It wasn't until he heard the front door quietly shutting, however, that he finally allowed himself to take a deep breath as he sunk down onto one of his makeshift chairs. That was one visit and conversation that he definitely had not seen coming.
Now, if you feel like making my day, REVIEW! (good/bad, I don't care... just like hearing from people what they thought... and if you want me to post more chapters..)
Also, I myself am absolutely HORRIBLE at reviewing, so often if I really like a story I end up with something like "loved it" cause I honestly don't know what else to say (just trying to say that I understand people who are bad at reviewing - like myself! :D)
And one last thing, do yourself a favor and go to amazon to pre-order Jackie Evancho's new CD Dream With Me! :D You definitely won't regret it!
