It's been a while since I've been able to write a tag to an ep, but this one just called out for one. I found myself wondering how the goodbye between the boys and Ellen would go, and this is what I have to offer.

Alone Again, Naturally

As soon as the truck disappeared from sight, Dean allowed his head to drop, shoulders hunched, allowing himself to feel the sting of loss for just a moment.

Sammy was gone.

The one purpose he'd clung to his whole life had walked away from him – again – and he'd done absolutely nothing to stop him.

But what could he have done? Sammy was right. He was a liability right now. He wasn't fit to hunt. And right now – with the end of the world looming in the not to distant future, they couldn't afford… Dean couldn't afford to take his eye off the ball.

It was too big.

The ramifications were too important.

The end of the world.

And Dean Winchester was here to stop it. Alone. Again. Naturally.

"Hey." His head snapped up, his eyes focusing on Ellen's figure standing a few yards away from the picnic table. Her hands were folded across her chest as she leaned her head, studying him with far more scrutiny than he was comfortable with. "You okay?"

"Huh? Yeah," Dean finally muttered, swallowing hard to clear the emotion that was threatening to choke him. "I'm fine."

"Right." Ellen stepped to the table, sliding into the seat Sam had vacated only moments ago. She leaned her forearms on the table, clasping her hands together before her as she tilted her head toward the dust, still stirring from the wake of the truck. "Where's Sam going?"

Dean dropped his eyes, not able to meet her gaze. " He's ah… got things to take care of," he responded, hoping against hope she would just leave it at that.

"What's going on with you two?" Ellen leaned forward, her brows drawing together on her forehead. "I asked Sam before and he gave me the usual Winchester song and dance."

Dean lifted on side of his mouth in a sardonic grin. "That's Sammy. Always with the show tunes."

"Dean…"

He sighed and rubbed a hand across his face, knowing the woman wasn't about to simply give up and let him be. "Nothing's going on, Ellen. We're…we just need…" he faltered, his mind reaching for an explanation that would placate her without revealing how screwed up they really were. "We'll be fine."

"You call this fine?"

He looked up, sighing at the look of utter disbelief on her face.

"Ellen, it's okay. Sam and me…" he shrugged, unwilling to bear his soul to her even though he felt the need to unburden himself was overwhelming. "We just… he needs to work some things out for himself and until he does, he's better off out of the direct line of fire." Away from me.

"Uh huh," Ellen's tone was flat. "And what about you?"

Dean shook his head slightly. "What about me?"

"Are you better off? Out of the line of fire?"

His laugh held no humor as he lifted his head and looked her in the eye. "I'm afraid there's no such thing for me. I'm ground zero." He shook his head and leaned back, squaring his shoulders. "Sam is better off – safer – if he stays far away from me."

"And you're better off without Sam?"

He pursed his lips, silently cursing her for making him think when all he wanted was to let himself be numb. "Yeah," he shrugged, shifting his eyes off toward the expanse of tree covered mountains to his right. "Maybe. Right now anyway."

He saw Ellen nod in his peripheral vision, part of him glad she seemed to finally accept his words, part of him disappointed he couldn't allow himself to confide in her.

"Does this have anything to do with what happened to you in…" she stopped suddenly and Dean narrowed his gaze, filling in the rest of the question. "..with what you've been through," she finished softly.

Den didn't answer, not knowing how to explain his part in what was to come. Not wanting anyone to know how much of it was on his head.

After a few minutes of silence, Ellen shifted on the bench seat and joined him in looking out over the vast Colorado wilderness.

"You know, your dad never really talked about you boys much, but sometimes – maybe it was because I was a mom – or maybe it was just because he needed someone to know, he'd tell me about you and your brother. I couldn't understand how he could just leave you two alone, in whatever bumhole little town you were in, for days at a time. I mean, Sam couldn't have been much older than Jo and I couldn't stomach ever leaving her alone for a few hours let alone days." She turned and Dean could feel her eyes on him as she continued. "But he told me he was never worried about Sam – leaving the two of you alone. You know why? Because of you. He just trusted that you could handle it; that you could take care of your brother, take care of yourself no matter what."

Dean dropped his head and closed his eyes, not wanting her to see how much he wished he could believe that.

He always said that Sam would make a damn good hunter because he was always asking questions, always wanting to know more. But you, your dad was convinced you were special. That you were a natural leader." She laughed softly. "I always figured it was just a parent's pride, you know? Hell we all think our kids are special."

"There's nothing special about me, Ellen."

Her voice was soft when she responded. "You keep telling yourself that, kid. Maybe someday one of us will believe it."

Dean ran a hand across his eyes. "You… you have no idea what… you don't understand."

"I don't have to." Ellen leaned forward and placed a hand on his arm. "Your dad believed in you, Dean. So do I, and so does Sam. Whatever happens, just remember, you're not alone in this. Not by a long shot."

Dean dropped his hand and slowly rolled his eyes up to meet hers, seeing nothing but sincerity on her face.

"Thanks."

She patted his arm, withdrawing her own as the moment passed. "You're welcome." She smiled and gave him a nod, finally pushing herself up from the table. "If you ever need anything, Dean. Call."

Dean gave a soft laugh, nodding his head once. "Yes, ma'am. Speed dial."

"Good boy."

She turned to head back into town, turning when he cleared his throat and called her name.

"Uh, Ellen? Can you do me a favor?"

She pursed her lips and shrugged, burying her hands in her coat pockets. "Anything."

Dean took a slow deep breath, his eyes flickering from his hands to the mountain view before turning back to her. "Give Sam a call? You know, just to… just to make sure he's okay. Make sure he knows…"

Ellen gave him a sad smile and bobbed her head. "Sure, Dean. I promise."

"Thanks."

She held his eyes for a moment, her expression one of sympathy – something he couldn't, or wouldn't, accept. With a sigh she gave him one final smile. "You take care of yourself, Dean."

Dean's breath caught in his throat at the echo of Sam's parting words, swallowing hard against the tightness that suddenly enveloped him. Not trusting himself to speak, he simply nodded, his eyes tracking her as she headed back over the hill toward town leaving him, once again, alone.

The End