I sat on the bench in front of her window, She was so Delicate, so Fragile. Her Soft skin and her long chocolate brown hair. It was messed up and splattered all across her pillow as she laid on her back, her head turned in my direction slightly. Her big brown eyes closed. Her chest slowly rising with each breath she took.
I caught myself wearing a huge goofy smile, the kind that is found on sappy romantic guys, But I was alone now. She couldn't see me no one could. So I let myself Smile like a soft, weakling because now was the only time I was allowed to. Not even Kathrine could make me feel this way. Its so hard to explain. I love This girl so much that I won't even tell her. All I care about is her happiness and her well-being. She makes me fight all of my instincts. Everything that comes naturally I fight to make her happy. My selfishness, my cruelty, my disregard for human life, all of it. And because I have to fight so hard to keep it controlled is the reason she should never be mine, I know that. But I can sit here at night in her bedroom while she sleeps and just imagine for a few minute what it would be like if I was even close enough to being good for her.
It's wrong and I know it is. She is in love with my baby brother, who isn't? He is the better of us. He always was. I feel bad for my feelings about Elena, but I can't bring myself to feel bad for being Jealous of my brother. He had Kathrine, and now he has Elena. He has and always will have any girl he ever wants, and me... Well I'm stuck watching them sleep and dreaming about being a little bit like him just to imagine her being happy.
That was it, I couldn't take not telling her, not saying anything. I walked up to her bed and within seconds I took the ravine necklace from her neck and she woke up instantly scared I could here her pulsating heart racing.
She noticed me and sighed in relief, "I thought you were Klaus"
I chuckled a little at her sleepy voice and watched for a moment as she relaxed before i replied to her, "Klaus can't get in Elena remember?"
She nodded and closed her eyes about to go back to sleep before the wires connected in her mind, she sat up abruptly again hr big brown eyes wide and she gasped as she spoke, "Wait Damon? Why are you here? Did something happen? Is everyone okay?"
I offered her a calm smile and said, "Elena, cool it. Everything is okay. I promise you."
She leaned her back against the frame of her bed and looked at me skeptically, "Oh? Then, why are you here?"
I shrugged, "Because Elena, I'm bad. I'm bad for you and I can never be good."
I saw her face grow in compassion and sympathy, "Oh Damon, you aren't bad. You've done bad things, yes. But do you know why I forgive you? Because I can see the good in you, I know its there. No matter what you think I know you have hope."
I rolled my eyes at her, "You don't know that. You don't know what I'm capable of. You don't know what kind of evil I could do."
"yes Damon I do. I know exactly what you could do. I also know that even though you the ability to that you won't."
"How? How could you possibly know that, Elena? How do you know I'm not just like Klaus, or even worse."
"Because Damon you care about people. You show it in weird ways, but you do care about them. You've shown me that you care about me, and about Stefan. Even Bonnie and Caroline. Everyone, you pretend like you hate them but you really do care. Thats what makes you different Damon. You would do anything to save them because you care."
I shook my at her speach, if only she knew how wrong she was. Then my impulsive nature got the best of me when I spoke staring her directly in the eyes, "You are wrong, Elena. So wrong about everything except one thing. I dont care about people. I wouldn't care if everyone living in this awful town just dropped dead. The only reason I've helped them was because you want me to."
"That's not true Damon. You..."
I cute her off, if I didn't say it now I never would, "No it is true. The only thing that makes me feel human, is you. You're the only thing that can make me want to care. I would do anything to keep you happy, to keep you safe. That's what makes me worse then Klaus. I know how much you mean to my brother, but I still cant help myself from being completely in love with you. I know how hopeless it is, I know how wrong I am for you, I know telling you things like this will only end up getting me hurt because just like Kathrine You love Stefan. It will always be Stefan, everyone loves . I'm the evil guy and the bad guy. But that's okay, because someone has to be the bad guys and do bad things so you will stay safe. So I'm okay with you hating me I'm okay with you never knowing how I feel because that's how much I love you Elena."
She stared at me wide-eyed and her mouth slightly parted. I didn't give her any chance to respond when once again, I kissed her forehead and said in a low husky whisper, "I know I'll never be good, I'll never be what you want. But I'll always be there for you Elena, Always and forever."
I then looked into her big brown eyes and compelled her as I said "You will not remember this conversation you called me over because stefan didn't answer his phone and you thought you heard something. You will not tell Stefan or anyone about this."
I put the necklace on her nightstand, "Nope no scary monster bad guys Vampires here...Well except for me of couse" I her with a smirk.
"Oh yeah thanks Damon, I know it as kind of stupid of me to get scared, I've just been on edge lately with the whole Klaus wanting to sacrifice and kill me thing going on." She said in her normal Elena voice.
I sighed, she'll never know... He can never know, its better this way. "Yeah, that can be a downer. You should put on your necklace, Elena. don't know what kind of evil studly vamps might come and compel your innocent little mind."
"Yeah, I know. That's weird I thought I put it on before I fell asleep. Maybe I should take Alaric's advice and start drinking Ravine. He was insisting it earlier. I'll start tomorrow."
"You do that, when I go home to get some actual sleep, unless you need me to check the closet for the boogie man?"
"Haha, You're a comic Genius Damon. Go home before I stop being so nice and chummy."
"You're being chummy? Wow, I'm moving up in the Elena Gilbert list of people she cares about."
I watched her roll her eyes and crawl back into her bed, "Good night Damon"
I smiled a little as I said, "Good night Elena."
After Elena gets turned
Damon sat on her window bench again just watching her sleep Like he always would when he felt extremely sentimental. He sighed and just admired her beauty.
Then suddenly he was pinned against a wall and he noticed Elena, not angry, but smiling face.
"Elena?"
"Are you going to explain why you are spying on me while I sleep." She asked with humor in her voice.
"You already know why, It's happened before and you remember." I told her without any shame. I knew she'd remember, but i was waiting for her to bring up, that particular memory.
"I always knew Damon. Alaric had me drinking Ravine for a while." She said shrugging, avoiding eye-contact. SHe let me go and I stared at her for a moment.
Finally I said, "So you just pretended you didn't know? You put off my feelings for you?"
"No, I just... I was just so confused. You told me that and I start realizing things. The way you did do everything for me. The way you look at me sometimes. Even sometimes when you'd touch me it sent chills down my spine. That's all wrong. Very wrong. You know its wrong, I'm supposed to love Stefan."
I groaned and shouted, "Says who?! Who says you are supposed to be so ewy goey in love with little St. Stefan."
"I can't explain it Damon, but there's something inside of me telling me that I have to be with him, but that same thing is screaming at about how wrong and bad you are for me. But then I feel this, this connection to you, and I know I'm in love with you just like you are with me. Feeling that I know that I still love Stefan, but that's all,I'll never be in love with him again."
I was shocked. Finally. I finally got the girl of my dreams. No words were good enough to tell her how I felt. So instead I kissed her with all the passion I could muster I kissed her and she kissed back.
Then darkness. Nothing but darkness and pain overcame me, as I fell down to the floor.
Hello you lovely little readers. Chapter 2 shall be up tommorrow I promise thee that, but i require one thing from you gorgeous people. REVIEWS. Oh please I beg of thee review it would bring a smile to my face. How happy I would be. Oh please please REview tell me what you think... Its my first Vampire Diaries Fanfic, but I've done more Harry Potter ones. SO please I beg of thee review
