"I must be cruel only to be kind;

Thus bad begins, and worse remains behind."

-William Shakespeare, Hamlet

From the moment the woman with the Capitol accent that made my ears throb called my name with misplaced confidence, I knew what I had to do.

A sort of hushed whisper swept over the crowds and a few daring people dared to look back at me. I swallowed thickly, and my legs mechanically propelled me out of my age group and out into the open gravel pathway. My footsteps sounded like boulders crashing into the ground each time I took a heavy step. I shut my eyes tightly, my hands clenching into tight yet shaking fists as I passed by his age group. I didn't want to see his face…I didn't want to see the horror and disbelief in his storming grey irises.

"N-No...!" Feet shuffled manically behind me and I instinctively stopped and opened my eyes to look at him. "N-NO!" He yelled, pushing himself through the crowd of his age, his face twisted worse than how I imagined. He fought his way out of the group, his silver eyes meeting mine and he stood in the empty pathway just like me. In a flash, he tried running for me, but several white dressed guards grabbed him, restraining him. "NO! NO, NO, NO! LET ME GO!" He screamed, his voice cracking with desperation as he pounded and kicked his restraints.

"Let him go." I whispered lowly, meeting one of white suited men with a deadly glare. "LET HIM GO!" I roared and they immediately let him go. He fell to his knees, but quickly got up and ran towards me, letting his body crash into mine like a ton of already sobbing bricks. I wrapped my arms around his waist tightly, burying my face in his short, light brunette hair. Taking deep breaths, I let his thick and heavy scent fill my nose and rush into my blood, lighting by body with the memory of who he was.

"D-don't go, b-brother…P-Please!" He squeezed what was left of breath out of my lungs, his voice shaking with sobs. I swallowed down a breath, swallowing back my own flood of tears.

Here I was, my little brother's companion because the two of us have always lost and gained together…His friend, because nobody could understand who we are or what we are together…His brother, because our mixed soul binds us together tighter than the red, pulsing blood in out veins and arties …And his lover.

"I'm sorry…Al…" I whispered lowly, glancing around to see the white suited men moving towards us. "Al. I need you listen to me very carefully." I reached up to soothingly comb his hair with my fingers, trying to calm his rapidly racing inhales and his rushing heartbeat. A gloved hand of peacekeeper came up to rest gently on my shoulder, but I shrugged it off and tightened my grip around Al. "I love you, Al! So, so, so, so much..!" A gloved hand clamped down on my shoulder, forcefully ripping my body from his. He let out a throat tearing scream, his hands reaching and grasping at the empty space where I belonged.

"NO! NO, NO, NO, NO!" He wailed, tears coursing down his cheeks like a spring flood. "ED! ED, ED, ED!" He chanted my name, his voice cracking into a high pitched scream as they started to drag him away. Suddenly, without much thought, I pushed the hands from my shoulders and ran towards him, reaching out to take his soaking cheeks in my calloused hands. I stretched my neck, colliding our lips together. I poured every drop of pure, golden, liquid love into his bright, sobbing silver body. It was wordless because I could never express the feelings, the sensations of how all of his being, his mind, body, spirit, and soul, made me love him more and more. Every night that we laid together, just listening to the tattoo of our hearts beating in rhythm and smelling the distinct aroma of nutmeg, lilacs and sex.

He smelled like the rain on that chilly spring day…the crystal drops dripped from his honey blonde hair and into his matching eyes long after we made it into the safety of the abandoned barn on the edge of town…I'll never forget the way he breathed my name in our soft kisses or the way he screamed and quivered every time my tawny hands met his heated golden flesh…

Before he could even think to kiss me back, or truly understand my feelings, I pulled away and turned my back to him, hiding my heart, burying it deep in my chest to prepare for something greater. But, something inside of me broke at that moment. Something I hadn't known till Al started loving me and I let myself love him back like that broke and shattered deep in my chest. The shards scattered and destroyed muscles, bone, tendon and nerve, leaving my broken, hollow and truly and utterly numb.

My heart broke at that moment.

"I LOVE YOU ED!" He screamed through violent sobs, hearing his understanding and despair echoing deep in his heart of hearts. "I LOVE YOU!" That's all he screamed until the city hall doors shut and I was left with ringing, empty silence in my ears.

I winced and shifted slightly as the stylist yanked another section of the wispy hairs on my chest off. I closed my eyes and leaning my head back, feeling more of the hot wax—or whatever they called it—being smothered over my already burning hot skin.

They'd picked me clean, only leaving the wispy blonde strands on my forearms and calves. Their stupid voices with their stupid little accents praised my well defined chest and well muscled arms, occasionally reaching out to touch. I hated it; I hated it how they treated me like I was some sort of dog at a show to be admired, touched and judged. I knew I disgusted them with my plain hair and skin, my unadorned self. They were used to abused, multicolored, and exotic sense of self, and anything that counted as halfway normal was different…too different. Different enough not to be considered human, even.

But, that didn't stop their snake-like fingers from continuing to touch me and praise my body, giving me oversized grins with unsmiling eyes. A gentle caress of the arm reminded him of when Al would brush past him with his arms full of laundry and give me a blushing apology that wasn't in his eyes. Feather light touches down my chest reminded of the kisses he would plant across the same line, tortuously starring up at me with lust in his storming grey orbs.

I hate these people.

So, with each simple caress, I knew what I had to do…

"I need your help…" I breathed, feeling my tongue flick out to wet my lips as I watched her watch me. For some reason, I didn't find myself embarrassed by her gaze that wandered over my naked frame, her pale lavender eyes unashamed to stop and stare. Her lavender hair piled into a soft bun at the crest of her head, lightly fanning across her forehead like a strange bird's crest. The dark purple outlines around her eyes made her look like a raccoon that would stare at you from the inside of the forest deep at night, its bright yellow eyes boring holes into your soul like the devil. Her sea pale lavender eyes flickered up to meet my sharp gold ones and she quietly tapped a shiny black fan against her palm.

"You're pretty strong looking on the outside, intimidating…Probably one of the strongest Tributes we've had in quite some time." Her fan closed with a loud SNAP and her almost black lips curved into a frown. "But, you're hiding something behind all that thick headedness and stubborn attitude." My lips curled into a tight frown, subconsciously folding my arms. She let out a barking chuckle, reopening her fan. "But, you're clearly not embarrassed to have me looking at you when you're naked." She raised a thick and blackened eyebrow.

"It's kinda hard to be embarrassed when you people look more like colorful insects then people. I liked the zoo when I was younger." I admitted and she let out another barking laugh.

"Hot headed now, are we?" She chuckled, a smirk curling her lips as she tapped the reclosed fan against the rings that wore her fingers. "Good. People like a strong tribute, one that'll bring plenty of drama and action to the Arena." Her smirk faded into a frown and she lifted her fan to shake it my face. "People don't what you'll do after your little "stunt" with your little brother. Cheek little boy now, aren't you?" Her squeaky voice made my ears throb as she danced around me. I sighed and looked down at feet, for once feeling self conscious about my body. Al was the only one who'd seen me like this, except a little sweatier and really horny, but the idea of somebody else seeing my body remained. It felt wrong to have her look at me like this…The irony of the statement wasn't lost on me at all. It was wrong what we did to each other because of the same blood that ran through our veins. It was incest, a taboo… I sighed heavily, looking back up at her.

"I love him; a lot more then I know I should. More then what people say is "right" or some crap like that. But…why would you want to give up something that feels so good and so right because people who don't you know say it's wrong, disgusting and a taboo? I'm sorry that I won't believe in a shitty moral like that." I shook my head, letting my golden bangs cascade into my eyes.

I heard a quiet sigh, but didn't look up until a surprisingly strong hand jerked my head up via my chin. Sharp burning lavender eyes met mine and I was a little surprised by the fierceness in her eyes. I don't know why, but I expected some sort of punishment—a slap to the face, a knee to the solar plexus—just some physical abuse to finally make what was wrong, wrong.

"You asked for my help Edward, and now you'll get it."

The night before this crazy, killing and dying spree was suppose to go down, I sat outside our district balcony. I let my legs dangle over the side of the half cylinder concrete half wall, starring down at the zoo of people as my neatly combed back hair escaped and danced around my face. My gold eyes kept focus on the ground, watching the bright colors drift past on the concrete walkways. Oh…that's a pretty light green…wow, electric blue…not my taste.

"Can't sleep?" A feminine voice asked from behind, not drawing my gaze or much of my attention for that matter.

"I could ask you the same question…" I muttered, glancing at her from behind the freed curtain of my hair when she approached. Soft blonde curls gathered in ringlets around her high, rosy colored cheekbones, making her look like one of the girls from those folk tales that were read to us as children. She leaned against the railing, gazing down at the mass of people with livid blue eyes and soft grin on her rosy lips.

"Despicable, aren't they?" She hissed rhetorically, her eyebrows narrowing despicably over her eyes. "They rip apart families and tear apart lovers all for the sake of their sick entertainment…" I looked back down at the ground, knowing that the lovers comment was aimed at me. I could hear her shifting to face me and her malice gaze on my flesh as she looked me up and down. "You know…I saw—" She giggled a little, making the blood in my veins singe a little, "or rather heard—your little brother at the Reaping…who knew that the great Edward Elric had the hots for his younger brother…" She chuckled darkly again and I quickly turned away to jump back onto the balcony floor. I knew she was trying to get a rise out of me purely to make her less afraid of her impending death. I had a particular corner set aside in my mind where ignorance was left to rot and die.

"You're the first one I'm going for, Elric. Don't you forget that you dirty faggot." She hissed darkly, throwing invisible daggers at my back as I walked away. I shrugged her gaze off and pulled the knives from me, knowing exactly what I had to do.

"Now…" My stylist began, fixing the collar on my black, full body arena outfit. Her fingers fumbled a little, but I quickly reached up and fixed it myself, my hands much more steady despite my impending death. She gave a little huff and a glare at me, resorting to smoothing and zipping up collar up further. "You are not to remove your jacket till you know that most of the camera's are on you. Do you understand?" She asked, looking up at me with sharp lavender eyes. I nodded, trying to keep my face impassive. I wasn't really scared, just numb. I couldn't feel my ten fingers and toes and even my heartbeat sounded unfamiliar.

"Hey…" I started, grabbing her arm gently to hold her in place in front of me. A small frown twisted her lips and she raised a today's thin eyebrow. "What will you do after all of this goes down?" I murmured and she quickly bit her lips, her eyes shooting away from mine.

"Well..." She let out a heavy puff of lemon scented breath. "Hopefully they'll just kill me…" She flashed me a forced smile and pulled her narrow arms out of my hold.

"TEN SECONDS TILL TRIBUTES IN THEIR PODS!" A voice crackled over the intercom and I gave her one last fleeting glance.

"You better get going…" She gestured to the glass pod that remained empty. I took in a deep breath, letting out on that was longer and thicker than what I brought in. I slowly stepped around her and walked to the pod, slowly putting one boot covered foot inside. But, before brought my other foot inside, I turned to face her, stretching my neck to place a gentle kiss on her rosy, makeup covered cheek.

"Thank you…" I whispered, stepping inside the pod that immediately closed behind me, trapping me in its glass, claustrophobic hold. Without a last glance, I slowly set to work on my part of the agreement as the pod slowly lifted up. Wincing, I yanked the rubber band from my hair, golden strands cascading down my shoulders like a sudden rainstorm. I slipped the band onto my wrist just as the glass melted into the ground, leaving all twenty four of us alone in the arena. I glanced around the semicircle of all of us, taking in the competition I would never face. I took a deep breath, the numbness seizing my throat just like it had settled my heart rate down to gentle thrum in my chest.

"Tributes!" I announced suddenly, a voice rising up that didn't feel like my own. "The Capitol!" I looked towards the sky that I knew was distinctly fake. It felt like I was observer, watching the scene in front of me with rapt attention like a Capitol zoo animal. Or maybe I was back home watching it in town square, wondering if this was all just a show put on by the Capitol. Neither really knew the whole truth behind all of it. I took a deep breath and slowly yanked on my tight uniform, the sound of the fabric ripping filling the suspended animation. There were a few quiet gasps among the Tributes, but I knew behind that fake sky, all hell was breaking loose. Media going wild, Peacekeepers trying to control the crowds, televisions rapidly shutting down throughout the Districts…riots breaking out in protest of the Capitol, people dying by the hundreds…all for a cause and for a martyr. But, I'd know none of it…any of what I started. I looked to the nearest camera, a shinning lens imbedded in a tree trunk, it's single eye starring at me with rapture.

"Alphonse…" I murmured, a small, sad smile that belonged only to him tracing my lips. I could almost see his dark blonde head perk up and look at me with questioning eyes "I love you…" His lips would twist into a bright smile, his cheeks would flush a soft pink and he'd say back to me:

"I love you, too, Edward."

3….

I felt myself falling off the platform…

2….

Everything went white hot and a scream rose up and was hushed.

1…

Silence.