~*Mirrors tell the worst of lies*~
A/N: Greetings everyone! Look at me! Posting something so soon .3. I'm going to try and post something every weekend if I can. Simply because I like writing and why not write fanfics? (because I'm writing a book but kind of avoiding it at the moment -.-') Anyways~ Thanks for all the favs and follows and such from my darling readers! I really do love you guys! You and your reviews (hint hint) make writing all of these worth it! This is going to be at least two or three chapters long so I hope you like it ^.^
Disclaimer: Sadly, Naruto is not mine. However I would gladly accept Kakashi and Iruka…. And everyone else as well if the opportunity arrived xD
Warnings:Yaoi! That be boy on boy lovins! No likey? No ready! Nothing for this chappy other than some sorta angst(?) stuff and such, however I miiigghhhttt toss a little sumtin sumtin in a later chapter if I get enough requests for it~ (yet another hint to review)
~*Breaker o' the line*~
The man stood there, observing his reflection in the full body mirror. His tan skin showed in all its naked glory, muscles standing out against the wet skin. Dark brown hair, wetted to an almost black shade, stuck in strands to his neck and shoulders. Chocolate eyes hazed as they mapped every scar along his torso and legs. He reached up and traced a few of the older blemishes with an index finger. He followed one up his side to the end of it just underneath his collarbone. He let his hand continue its way up his neck and along his cheek to trace the smooth lighter colored scar across the bridge of his nose. He let his limb drop back down to a new deep gash he'd just received on his mission.
"Hideous." He said to the mirror. He let out a hiss of pain as he jabbed at the new wound. This was how he coped. Some ninjas came back and shut themselves away, others jumped in the first open bed to spread their legs in, and some drank enough to put Tsunade on a run for her money. Others had weird little quirks that helped them, chewing a senbon, inhaling dango, wearing tight spandex and yelling about the 'youthful hipness' of it, or even openly reading porn and constantly being late for everything. This is what Iruka did.
"Disgusting." His fingers moved to another slice on his bicep and painfully twisted his fingers into it, causing pain to enfold his whole arm and the warmth of blood to coat his fingertips. He had to remind himself that he was nothing more than trash, something for people to look at and then grimace before leaving and never thinking of him again. That he deserved every one of these scars for being so stupid. That he was just being selfish by breathing the air more important people could use. That he was useless.
His hand reached up and over his shoulder so that he could curl his digits into a ragged slash between his shoulder blades. That one would leave a scar over the scar from the Naruto incident. A scar upon a scar. "A tool."
He should have died on this mission, but instead, his fellow-better- shinobi had used some of the little chakra he'd had left to make his wounds non-life threatening before proceeding to carry his unconscious body to safety then collapsing himself. "Dead weight." He spread the skin on either side of a wound along his thigh apart so it reopened and sent shots of pain through the limb.
He stood there for a few hours just poking and prodding and clawing at his wounds while spitting harsh words at his quivering, bleeding reflection. After black started to tint the edges of his vision, he stood underneath an uncomfortably hot shower. "Iruka, you're so useless and stupid. All you ever do is get in people's way and cause them problems. You never really do anything important. If you disappeared no one would even notice." Iruka muttered this to himself, and then turned the heat of the water to its coldest setting. After more downgrading, he turned the stream of water off and got out of the shower. His skin felt like it was freezing and burning at the same time, especially over a huge burn across his left calf and lower back. Instead of crawling underneath the covers to sleep and forget about the mission and his own stinging words, Iruka let his knees give way at the end of the bed and curled up on the ground. He didn't feel like he deserved the comfort of a bed right now, though his was hard and uncomfortable anyways. "Monster." Was the last thing he said to his shivering self before closing his eyes and letting his silent tears mix with the water on his face before nightmare filled sleep took him.
~*Breaker o' the line*~
Iruka woke, though it didn't feel like he slept at all. He cracked his eyes open and, seeing a very weak ray of sunshine along the wall, sat up and stretched out his cramped muscles. He winced as he felt the wound between his shoulders shift. Last night he might have felt the urge to punish himself for his actions on his mission but today he didn't want to feel any of it. Standing up, he put his hands on his hips and leaned back to pop his spine. At the pressure put on his left wrist, his felt a small twinge of pain shoot up his forearm. Maybe he'd sprained or fractured it. Ignoring it for now, Iruka went over to the open window and looked up at the sky. There were gray clouds covering most of the sun's warm rays to settle Kohnaha down for a chilly morning. That would be one reason why it had been so cold the previous night.
Sliding the glass shut, the Chunnin went over to his old wooden dresser. He pulled on a pair of boxers and baggy black sweat pants. For a moment, he wondered if he should go to the hospital to get his wounds healed for him, since he wasn't the best healer. He spilt his hair down the middle, pulled half of it over his shoulder, and then proceeded to brush it with the brush he grabbed from the vanity set that used to belong to his mother. "Maybe later, if they start to bother me too much." He muttered to himself as he pulled the prickles of the brush through his still damp hair. Just as he finished pulling an annoyingly stubborn knot into a smooth position, a loud knock came from the door. Sighing, he tossed the brush onto his perfectly made bed and went to answer it. The slash on his thigh crinkled and pulled with every flex of his muscles, causing him to wince. He reached out with his chakra to sense who was on the other side of the door, there was no way he could mistake that signature. Bracing himself, Iruka unlocked the door and opened it.
Actually, he only cracked the door before it was forcefully shoved the rest of the way open. "IRUKA-SENSEI!" There was a flash of gold before the world fell up and the floor decided being against Iruka's back was much better than underneath his feet. The sudden movement and force caused pain to ripple its way through the teacher's body, and a slight hiss to escape from between his teeth, even as began grinning. Throwing his arms around the weight lying across him.
"Nice to see you too, Naruto."
The blonde head popped up into his clear view, the whiskered face stretched with its normal white-toothed smile. "You're back!"
"That I am, now get off, you've gotten heavy." He pushed the boy, er, young man, off of him. He had to remember that the knucklehead wasn't such a kid-despite how he acted- anymore. He frowned, his little 'adopted brother' wasn't as a little as the kids he-. He shook his head; he wasn't going to think about that anymore, and sat up.
"Since you're back, we have to get ramen to celebrate! And then I can tell you what the teme di-..." Naruto's blue eyes suddenly narrowed and raked across the Chunnin's exposed skin. "You're hurt." He said bluntly. The serious heaviness that hung around the blonde was off putting and maybe even a little alarming.
"It's just a few scratches, nothing to worry about." Iruka said with a, hopefully, comforting grin. He ruffled the blonde's hair, and then used his head to push himself up. Ignoring Naruto's loud complaints, he started down the hall. "Give me a minute to get ready, and then we can go get some ramen, alright?" Going back to his bedroom, the Chunnin started digging through his dresser. Knowing he'd need clothes that would at least somewhat hide the blood if his wounds reopened, he grabbed an old deep maroon button up shirt. The fabric was thick enough to get a little blood on it without seeping through, but thin enough that it wouldn't get too hot or be heavy. It was also loose enough to be comfortable and easy to move in. Then he put on a pair of black jeans that were a bit too big around his totally not feminine waist so they settled low on his hips. Rolling up the sleeves to his elbows, leaving two buttons on the top undone (though it still hid the cut on his collar bone), and one where it met his jeans, Iruka decided to just keep his hair in a loose ponytail at the base of his neck. He stood in front of the mirror and looked at his appearance. "Hideous. Disgusting." The words he'd told himself last night echoed in in his mind. His eyes darkened for a moment before he shook the words from his mind, Naruto couldn't see him like that.
After strapping a kunai underneath his pants on his calf (he was still a ninja after all) Iruka grabbed his wallet, he walked back out to the living room to find Naruto eyeing the ceiling fan with a grin and carefully testing how much weight it could hold. "I swear to God, Naruto, if that fan breaks..." He used his best threating teacher voice, and had to hold in an amused snort when the blonde in question jumped and shoved his hands behind his back. Instead, he just rolled his eyes and started toeing his sandals on. "Come on, let's go get that ramen."
~*Breaker o' the line*~
Kakashi had gone to the mission room that night to turn in his 4 week late report to a certain tan Chunnin only to find that he wasn't there. He knew that the man had been on a mission, but that had ended a week ago so he should have been back on desk duty again. He looked over his issue of Icha Icha at the unrecognized man sitting in Iruka's normal spot.
"Welcome back, Hatake-san. Do you have your re-?"
"Where's Iruka-sensei?" Kakashi knew he was being rude to the man by cutting him off, not that he particularly cared either way, but he wanted to know where his dolphin was.
"Oh... uhh, Iruka-sensie just got back a few hours ago, so he's probably at home. Now, do you have your report?"
Bluntly, ignoring the desk worker, the jounin quickly flashed through the needed hand signs for a teleportation jutsu and disappeared in a puff of smoke. Why was Iruka late? He was never late. Was he okay? Was he hurt? What had happened? What was his mission? The silver haired man felt his feet touch the ground in front of the teacher's apartment complex and barely waited for his eyes to adjust to the sudden darkness before running around the building. He focused his chakra into the soles of his feet as he ran up the tree planted there. He stopped and crouched down on a very familiar branch and looked into the cause of his worries bedroom window. He swore, the tree must have been planted there by whatever god there was for him, it was perfect. It was in the perfect place, with just enough leaves that it covered him and still allowed for easy viewing, and on a few branches over it was the same for the living room window. No, he wasn't being creepy, he was merely ... making sure the Chunnin was alright... very often... without him knowing about the checkups...
It seemed the man wasn't home though, and it caused a small surge of panic to shoot through him. He jumped from his spot in the tree to land carefully on the window seal. From this angle, Kakashi could see that the uniformed vest Iruka normally wore had been tossed and hit a mirror on an old looking vanity set so that it angled to show inside the conjoined bathroom.
Normally, the perverted jounin would have loved to see the tanned man standing there naked, but seeing those fingers curled in a wound and lip-reading the word 'disgusting' was a slight turn-off. In fact, it made him see red for whoever made him feel that way, yet also made him want to turn to mush and run over to comfort him. If he went in at the moment though, for one he'd probably get something sharp chucked at his face, but he'd probably also terrify the man into never wanting to see him again. And so he sat, crouched there on the window seal, watching his secret love hurt himself further and mutter words the exact opposite of what he was. When the brunette finally went to sleep, on the ground to Kakashi's dismay, the jounin slipped the cracked window open and slid inside. He quietly walked over and set the mirror in the room right, and put the vest down on the ground next to it. Then he went over and stroked a few wet pieces of hair from Iruka's face, and judging from his looks the poor Chunnin seemed to be having a night terror*. "Beautiful. Kind. Helpful. Loving. Adored." The string of praises continued in a quiet whispered voice until dawn when he slipped back out the window. He'd have to get closer to the Chunnin. Try to make him understand that mirrors can tell the worst of lies.
~*Breaker o' the line*~
Night terror- It's sort of like a really really really bad nightmare... on crack. It is extremely difficult to wake somebody from a night terror, which is why Iruka didn't wake up from the very gentle touches and soft words from Kakashi.
Hehe, so? Do you like it? I know I'm not the greatest writer here, and this is mostly just brain vomit but I really liked writing this (even though I had to make my little Ruru like that ;3;) I started writing this from a prompt we were given in my creative writing class .w. And I got a weird sort-of glare from my teacher when I refused to let her read it ._. Ah, but whatever. I hope it didn't get to confusing. Remember to review! Those drive me to update (though I'm not going to be all "I'm not updating till I get _ reviews!" cause I hate that .) You can give me some constructive criticism if you wish, and by 'constructive criticism' I don't mean to bash the whole thing or flame. Thank you for reading!
~Drip~
