Dante: Why are you so goddamn pissy all the fucking time!?
Vergil: I'm not pissy, you're just insufferable.
Dante: Then why is it just me? Aren't there people more annoying than me?
Vergil: First, because you're my flesh and blood, so I HAVE to put up with you. Second, because you killed mister Hugs.
Dante: ...who the fuck is mister Hugs?
Vergil: The teddy bear you used to test your slashing skills on, once.
Dante: But you haven't had a teddy since we were five!
Vergil: Exactly.
Dante: ...so you're still mad at me because I destroyed your stuffed bear when we were five and you're making me pay for it by being a dick to me!?
Vergil: You can be quite clever when you put your mind into it.
Dante: This makes no sense.
Vergil: It perfectly does.
Dante: You try to kill me at least thrice a month just because I destroyed one of your toys twenty years ago!?
Vergil: That's because of the interests.
Dante: Interests?
Vergil: Twenty years of them. That made them pile up quite considerably.
Dante: ...I need a drink...
