Romance Never Existed
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Harry walked into the basement kitchen, glancing nervously at the two stony faced adults at the table. He could only think of one…well, maybe two reasons for being dragged in here, but Voldemort wasn't likely to involve a simple lecture in one of his dastardly plans. Oh, and what a lecture it was going to be-judging from their expressions. If only he could think of why…
"Harry." Lupin pushed a chair out with his foot, indicating he should sit.
"We need to discuss something-"
"A certain matter-"
"If this is about homework, I've got ages left to do it." Harry waited for them to say something. "Er, this isn't about Voldemort is it?" Harry asked, feeling puzzled. "Because if it is-"
"No,this isn't about Voldemort," Sirius interrupted in a worrying tone.
"No, not at all," agreed Lupin. "I…you see, well, when I was in your room the other day…"
"Er, what?"
"Well..."
"Oh, for goodness sake! He found these." Sirius dropped a few magazines on the table. They were quite pornographic. And…gay. They were also moving, as wizard photos were wont to do.
Harry went pale, he just stared at them, motionless. This wasn't good.
"As your parents can't talk to you about this and I doubt the Dursleys have," Lupin paused for breath, "Well, we need to discuss this."
"A-a discussion?" Harry's voice sounded oddly higher than usual, "You mean, the talk?"
"Really, yes," Sirius was being oddly quiet, Harry noticed. Hopefully he felt guilty.
"We think you should consider this seriously, make sure that you're, that you're actually-"
"Queer?" Harry was feeling oddly annoyed and blank at the same time.
"…yes."
"Oh, well I am."
"Well, fine. However at this age, it's easy to be confused and you ought to be sure before doing anything sexual because-"
"It's too late, Professor Lupin." Harry informed him, suddenly having the insane urge to grin. He'd better not, he decided, Sirius would probably murder him.
Silence. They just sat there, gaping like fish before regaining their composure.
"What?!"
"Sirius, sit down." He didn't, so Lupin grabbed him by the collar and pushed him back into the chair. "Have you? Really? Harry, this isn't a laughing matter…"
"I'm not joking!"
"You're going to have to go and see Madam Pomphrey."
"What? Why?" Harry exclaimed.
"Harry, you've had-"
"Been having." Harry corrected.
"What? You mean you've done it more than once?!"
"Erm…yes."
"With who?" Lupin questioned, sounding slightly hysterical.
"You know, people…"
"What sort of people?"
"Just people I met, on the streets…"
"People? On the street? Oh lovely…" Sirius drawled sarcastically. "You know, I'm getting you an appointment at St.Mungo's we need to find out if you've been damaged."
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Disclaimer: NONE of this belongs to me, all to the lovely J.K.Rowling and maybe other people I don't know about. I'm not making any money.
