I re-wrote this, it's funnier now.
Summary: the lich king captures twilight sparkle, spike, rarity, apple jack, fluttershy, rainbow dash, and pinkie pie in an attempt to taint the most pure beings alive. Things don't go as planned... At all. First person lich kind point of view.
Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING!
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I was kicked in the stomach and sent flying. I crash landed into the pile of party hats that pinkie pie pulled out of nowhere. Suddenly I found one of those hats on my head. "Party!" Pinkie pie giggled. The pony ran around, somehow managing to cover my death knights in ribbons and party hats before they could raise their sword. I stood up but I was met by another hoof to the face. I looked up and saw rainbow dash glaring at me. "Want some of this? Want some of THIS!?" The pegasus growled. I stood up and charged the pony, sword drawn. But halfway there I tripped and fell on my face. I looked at my feet and saw fluttershy whimpering and curled up into a ball, her rump high in the air. "I-i'm r-really s-sorry s-s-sir, *sniff* d-don't hate me." The pony cried quietly, covering her face in shame. I stood up and growled at the equine. I raised may armored foot to stomp on fluttershy, but I was hit in the gut by rainbow dash, causing me to fall over. "Pick on someone your own size!" Rainbow dash screamed at me.
I punched the pony in the face and SHE was sent flying for once. I turned around and saw the dragon spike eating all of the rune gems out of the rune swords. This made me madder then anything else. I rose the sword and brought it down to sever the dragon's puny head. "Aaaah!" Spike screamed out as the sword descended. But before my runebalde could make contact, it was grabbed by two magic forces. I turned around and saw twilight sparkle and rarity glaring at me, their horns glowing brightly. "DON'T! TOUCH! SPIKE!" They yelled in unison. Suddenly I was hoisted up and wrapped in ribbons. "Thanks rarity! Thanks twilight! Thanks rarity..." He said the last one with a goofy smile and wave. The unicorns smiled back but their expressions hardened when they looked back at me.
"Apple jack!" They called out. The earth pony looked up from the death knight she was beating up and smiled. "Special delivery." Apple jack nodded and charged me. I squirmed in my bindings as the earth pony ran at me. She turned last second and dug her hooves into my backside, sending me flying off of the balcony.
(Down below)
"I... Hate... Ponies..." I wheezed from the bottom of the crater
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Random crack-ish one shot.
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