This one's for the wonderful Charlotte, because it's her birthday today :) hope you have a fantastic day and all your birthday wishes come true.
I do have a confession to make: I got far more into this than I was expecting to and so it's going to be a long one! I say going to because this is only half of it; I haven't quite finished the ending and although I'm 90% sure I will have by the end of today I'm a little bit worried I might not do. I don't want to rush it and not do as good a job as I could do, and there was a nice logical place in the middle to split it, so it's become a 2 parter :) Charlotte: this part is going up on the morning of your birthday (obviously, as you're reading it :P) and the ending will be following it later today- that way just in case I don't quite get it finished you still get a birthday fic on the day, and the final part will be up tomorrow morning at the very latest, I promise. Sorry that was so long, hope you enjoy it!
All the usual disclaimers apply as well as an extra one for this fic: please do feel free to bet on the 2020 Olympics according to the results in this, but I by no means claim to be a fortune teller and I accept no responsibiliy whatsoever if and when you end up bankrupt :P
Hope you enjoy, and once again Happy Birthday Charlotte!
Love Flossie xxx
Harry's Diary
Friday 6th August 2020
Cape Town 2020 Olympics: Day 7
Cape Town International Airport, luggage collection
-4.23am
"He's going to kill us."
"Yep."
"We're screwed."
"Yep."
"Completely and utterly done for. We should probably just turn around now and go home to avoid the near-fatal explosion."
"Yep."
"Are you incapable of saying anything but 'yep' before 7 in the morning after an 11 hour plan journey?"
"Yep."
"Good to know. So place your bets: how long do you reckon the time gap will be between our first and last suitcase coming around the conveyer belt?"
"God knows. After the journey we've just had, 2 hours?"
"Possible. I was thinking more like 3."
"6 then, times them together? I told you we shouldn't have booked tickets due to land in Cape Town the night before, but oh no, you said, what could possibly go wrong…!"
"Well how was I supposed to know that there would be major staffing shortages at Heathrow, so much so that they had to rope in the Gatwick staff to help? Or that the bloody Gatwick air hostesses wouldn't want to leave the comforts of their own staff room so we'd all have to wait around for 3 hours for a couch to ship us over there? Or that we'd get stuck in a major traffic jam on the way? We've flown out here hundreds of times before and not once have we had this problem, how was I to know this time would be any different?"
"Well maybe given that this time you knew we were flying over to watch Olympic rowing that we paid a bloody fortune to get tickets for it might have been intelligent to book flights to arrive here slightly earlier than 8pm the night before, just in case this was the one time the flight got delayed…!"
"But we're here now, aren't we? Safely arrived in Cape Town with a whole 3 hours to spare!"
"You're right, I'm sorry. It's not your fault, you couldn't have known, and we're here now, I'm being ridiculous…"
Aww. Looks tired and stressed and apologetic and guilty at the thought might have upset me, is really rather adorable.
"Oh Nikki, come here sweetheart. It's OK, no offence taken, it's ridiculous AM and we've had hardly any sleep on top of a stressful evening, I think you're allowed to be a bit…"
"Pig-headed and down-right rude and argumentative?"
"Well I was going to suggest stressed, but OK, we can work with that. Oh god Nikki, he really is going to kill us, isn't he?"
"Daddy? Who's going to kill you?" Aww poor Josi, looks positively panic-stricken. That child always seems to arrive at the most awkward of moments.
"Oh, nobody darling, not really. Mummy and me are just a little bit worried about Uncle Pieter's reaction when we ring him unexpectedly at four thirty in the morning to tell him we'd like a lift and a sofa for the night. What's left of it, anyway. We're just exaggerating Josi, he won't really kill us. Well, I don't think so anyway."
Is frowning now, she looks rather cute when she's confused. "But… but I thought we were going to get a taxi back to Ouma's?"
"Well we were, Josi, but that was before our flight got delayed by 8 hours, wasn't it? It's far too late to get a taxi now and your grandma can't drive, so we're going to have to phone Uncle Pieter and beg him for a lift back to his place."
Judging by the look on daughter's face, think the problem has finally hit her.
"And you're worried he's going to kill us because when we came at Christmas he knew he was going to have to pick us up from the airport at 5.30 in the morning and he was grumpy enough then. And Auntie Sara said to excuse him because he needs his beauty sleep and can't cope with early mornings."
"Yep, that's right." Not entirely sure how am going to pluck up the courage to call Pieter Lamprecht and beg for a lift. Actually, now I think about it, not sure how exactly phoning Pieter became my job in the first place. Should be Nikki's job, she's known him for longer. Or Josi's, she's cute and innocent, Pieter's less likely to snap at her.
"Why don't you just phone Auntie Sara for a lift, Daddy? When we came here at Christmas you got me to phone her to tell her even though we'd gotten her out of bed at 5 in the morning we weren't actually going to arrive until 7,30 and she didn't mind, she was very nice about it. She would give us a lift."
Ah, the elephant in the room. Nikki and I both know that Sara has been suspended due to driving deemed horrendously dodgy even by South African road standards and a battered old red beetle-lookalike guilty of failing its MOT no less than three times in a row, pulled over on the way around Table Mountain into the centre of Cape Town by a police patrol car which just so happened to contain her husband Pieter and his boss. Sara knows that Nikki and I both know that she has been suspended due to driving horrendously dodgy even by South African road standards and a battered old red beetle-lookalike guilty of failing its MOT no less than three times in a row, pulled over on the way around Table Mountain into the centre of Cape Town by a police patrol car which just so happened to contain her husband Pieter and his boss. But no one mentions it.
"I'm sure she would Josi, but she can't drive, can she? Otherwise we'd ask her, I think she's marginally better at early mornings than Pieter is. But please don't tell either of them I said that will you?"
"Of course I won't. I know, Mummy! Why don't we ring Callum and ask him for a lift! He can drive by himself now, remember?"
Oh god. If all have heard about Sara and Pieter's youngest son Callum's driving bearing a stark resemblance to his mother's even now has passed his test is true, then is absolutely no way am getting into car driven by him. No way in hell.
And judging by look of pure panic on Nikki's face, the feeling is mutual.
"Oh no, we won't do that Josi, Callum's still at uni at the moment, isn't he? It's not the holidays for him. He's probably had a long week, we don't want to get him up at half past four in the morning, do we? I'll toughen up and phone Uncle Pieter in a minute, don't worry. Look, why don't you and Mummy go and try and find our suitcases?"
"Oh, OK then. Can I push the trolley please?"
Oh god. Josi and the shopping trolleys at Waitrose are a complete disaster zone, hate to even contemplate the destruction she could cause with a huge great suitcase trolley. Am staying firmly out of this one.
-4.34am
Uh oh, phone connecting. No going back now.
"What time do you bloody call this?"
Ah. Not in a brilliant mood then.
"Hi Pieter, it's Harry. Sorry for calling so early, it's just we're in a bit of a situation, our flight was hideously delayed and we've only just landed in Cape Town, and as it's a bit late now for us to get a taxi, we were… umm… wondering if you wouldn't mind… coming to pick us up in about half an hour?"
No response. Ah. Well this trip is going well.
"Well I'm bloody awake now! Fine, fine, I'll be there in half an hour, just don't expect me to be presentable. Which terminal?"
"Terminal 2. Thank you Pieter, you're a lifesaver. We seriously owe you for this."
"Ja, you do. Right then, I'll see you in half an hour, terminal 2, pick up zone. Be ready to go as soon as I turn up, no faffing. I want to get back to bloody bed ASAP."
-4.38am
"Hello, my beautiful." Ah, beautiful wife does the sweetest kisses when she hasn't quite woken up, looks all bleary-eyed and gorgeous. "Right, it's all sorted, Pieter's going to come and pick us up in about half an hour. But we're to be ready to shove our bags in the back and go as soon as he turns up, because he wants to get going ASAP so he can get back to bed apparently."
"Fair enough. God, I'm still not awake. It's a good job Josi noticed my suitcase coming round the conveyer belt, I would have let it go round at least another 6 times before I finally noticed it otherwise."
"Given that it's covered in ugly butterfly stickers, that's rather worrying."
"Oi you! There's nothing ugly about my butterfly stickers! They help me identify my suitcase amongst the sea of boring identical black ones!"
"Well they clearly don't, Mummy, because you didn't even notice it when it came round the conveyer belt!"
"I rest my case." Ah, Josi's giggling, good to know someone appreciates really rather brilliant jokes, not to mention ability to make them at not even 5 in the morning. Although judging by look on Nikki's face, husband's cracker of a pun has gone completely over her head. Blimey, she must be tired.
"Ohhh look, there's a Starbucks over there, shall I go and get us coffees while we're waiting for our suitcases to come round."
Love how no matter how tired she is, Nikki's ears never fail to prick up at the mere mention of coffee.
"Yes please, if you wouldn't mind."
"Of course not. Your favourite? I think you've earned it after yesterday evening."
"That's what you said about all those Belgian chocolates we ate on the plane."
"True. Oh come on, let me get you your favourite anyway, we've got a long day ahead of us. Josi, would you like a hot chocolate?"
"Hot chocolate?!" Looks rather appalled. "Daddy, it's far too early in the morning for chocolate! Can I have a guava juice please? Or alternatively orange, because they probably won't have that."
Will never, ever understand that child.
-5.01am
Phew, sitting down at last, huge Starbucks queue, suitcase collection and customs all successfully negotiated. Admittedly Cunningham family are sat on bench outside Terminal 2 of Cape Town International Airport in the cold as opposed to Pieter Lamprecht's four by four on the way towards one of Sara's delicious full English breakfasts, but can't have everything you want in life. Besides, have my two favourite girls with me. And a Starbucks white chocolate mocha. Will be perfectly content sat here waiting for Pieter to turn up with arm around Nikki's shoulders and Joycelin sat on lap as long as Grande coffee cup remains at least part full.
"So we're going to see the Olympic rowing?"
"Yep, that's right, Josi."
"With Ouma and Auntie Sara and Uncle Pieter and Zaretta and Ethan and Callum?"
"Yep. It's going to be brilliant, isn't it Josi? Just think, the Olympics will almost certainly never come to Cape Town again, this could well be the first and last time you get to go and watch it in the flesh. You'll remember this for the rest of your life, I promise. Are you excited?"
"Of course I am, really excited! There are going to be finals for medals today, aren't there?"
"That's right, so we'll have to cheer really loudly for the British boats to encourage them and help them win, won't we? We don't want another crushing defeat at the bottom of the medal table like we had at Rio in 2016, do we? I just knew we couldn't top our home turf performance in 2012."
"What? Oh no, Daddy, I'm cheering for South Africa."
Huh?! Does not compute. Not entirely sure, but think daughter and only fellow supporter of courageous team GB has been snatched up by the evil majority of team SA supporters, i.e, Martha, Sara, Pieter and their now grown up children Zaretta, Ethan and Callum. Admittedly Nikki is remaining neutral and sitting in between devoted SA fans and GB fans to act as human Hadrian's wall when opposing sides charge at each other during finals involving a South African boat racing a British boat, but is hardly the point. Have been abandoned by own daughter. Shocking.
"What?! But Josi… but you're British! You live in Britain!"
"But I was born in South Africa!"
Oh god, here we go. Should have known evil SA fans would seize on vulnerable only-just-nine-year-old daughter and convert her to the dark side in Britain's hour of need. Typical.
"Yes, but that was an accident Josi, that was a minor oversight on Mummy's part! Face it, you're a Londoner!"
"But it's the Cape Town Olympics! Uncle Pieter says as it's the Cape Town Olympics and I have Cape Townian blood in me I should support Cape Town!"
Ah, Pieter. Knew he would be the evil mastermind behind this, just knew.
"Nikki, help me!"
"Ah, no, I'm not getting involved, you're on your own Harry."
Am 99.9% certain she's smirking ever-so-slightly. She's enjoying this.
"But Josi… team GB are just better! We win more, we're untouchable, well, at all the sitting down sports, anyway. You want to support the winners, don't you?"
"Are you sure Great Britain are definitely going to be the winners, Daddy?"
"Of course I am, Josi, almost positive, we're brilliant at rowing! I'm sure."
"But Daddy, you support West Ham."
"And?" Nikki now in hysterics, not quite sure what she's finding so funny. "What's that got to do with anything?"
"Well Daddy, every single year when the Football League thing starts you tell me that this will be the year West Ham finally live up to their true potential and dominate the field and win the cup. And every single year you make me sit through… you make me sit through at least 25 matches of hairy men running around a pitch, and West Ham lose almost all of them really badly. Where… wherebut..."
"Do you mean whereas?"
"Yes, whereas, thank you Mummy. Whereas Uncle Pieter supports Ajax, and when he took us to see them play they looked really good, and they won 5 nil, and they always either win the South African soccer league or they lose by a couple of points, which isn't very much at all really, not when you think about how much West Ham normally lose by. So boaring all that in mind…"
"You mean bearing?"
"Yes, sorry, bearing. So bearing all that in mind, I've decided the most sensible thing to do is to trust Uncle Pieter's judgement over yours and support South Africa in the rowing later."
Wow, she's good. Nikki now laughing so hard think might be crying, quite an achievement by Joycelin given she was half asleep even with caffeine in her system just five minutes ago. That child should be a lawyer when she grows up. Or a comedian.
"So… you're basing your decision as to which country to support in the Olympic rowing on the fact that Uncle Pieter's football team of choice just so happens to do better than mine does on the league tables."
"Well…yes."
"Right."
"And Auntie Sara said if I swore my loyalty to South Africa she'd buy me one of those fluffy Rhino team SA mascot things."
"Ah. Suddenly it all makes sense."
"What does?"
"Nothing, darling." Blimey nine year olds are fickle.
