We are eating dinner when Katniss suggests it. She brings it up as casually as she would any mundane topic, as if me proposing is as special as the stew we are eating. "I think the Capitol would like it if Peeta proposed to me during the last interview, in front of the audience and cameras. They'll back off when they see that we're taking our relationship to the next step," she shrugs. She actually shrugs. I freeze, my spoon midway between the bowl and my mouth. She raises her eyebrows at me, waiting for my response. What am I supposed to say? Of course I want to propose to her, but not like this. Not for the Capitol. I want it to be real, not staged. I quickly clear my throat.

"Yeah," I say, unsure, setting my utensil down. "We could work something out. Right, Haymitch?" I look to our mentor, who's draining what's left of his drink, for support. He knows how much I love Katniss; he has since the Games. I need him to know how I'm feeling right now so he can help me out. Maybe he can convince her that something this personal, this important to me, should be more private. Haymitch meets my eyes before turning to Katniss, and I know he'll try.

"It makes sense…but why make the proposal public? Seems a little superfluous, don't you think?"

Katniss sighs like this is the most obvious thing in the world. "Well, yeah. Exactly." She takes a bite of a roll before clarifying. "The people here just eat that stuff up, don't they?" She asks.

"So this is about putting on a good show," Haymitch states keenly. She shakes her head, and I can tell she's becoming slightly frustrated.

"It's not just 'a good show.' It's about convincing Snow and others doubtful of our relationship that Peeta and I are in love. If they actually witness Peeta proposing and see me accept, how can they deny our feelings? Then everyone at home will be safe, and we can finally move on with our lives." Her mind is already set, and nothing will change it. Haymitch realizes this too, and when Katniss looks back down at her food, he grimaces at me as if to say, Sorry, kid, I tried.

I smile as normally as I can when I tell her, "Good idea, Katniss. It'll definitely work." She grins back so sincerely that, for a split second, I forget her feelings for me aren't real. Just like this proposal won't be real. My stomach drops and I'm suddenly overwhelmed with disappointment and rejection. I can't keep sitting here. While I normally accept her apparent ignorance of how deep my feelings run with a grain of salt, I can't stand it right now. I have to get away before I pour my heart out or embarrass myself in some other manner. I stand up. "I need to go to my room, excuse me," I mumble as politely as I can.

After I close my bedroom door, I slump to the floor and rest my head on my knees. This should be a dream come true, but all I feel is an aching sadness. But I know I have to suck it up. After all, the show must go on.