Song fic of Harry and Narcissa Malfoy. Believer by 3 Doors Down


Narcissa sat ignoring her husband and son rambling on about how Harry Potter was so terrible.

'I'll tell you what's terrible.' She thought about her husband.

'Potter looks a lot like James. Maybe I can see if he inherited the family sword.' Narcissa thought smiling.

She wrote a letter and owled it to Harry.


Harry was in the Dursleys bored shit-less. The owl tapping on his window was welcomed.

Harry read it and decided to go. "To activate the portkey say Believer." "Believer."

Harry was instantly in the bedroom of Narcissa Malfoy. He looked up and saw her on her bed. Naked.

"Mrs Malfoy?!" Harry said dumbfounded.

Narcissa walked up to him and said "Not tonight darling. I'm Narcissa and we'll both enjoy what's about to happen."

She banished his clothes and pushed him on the bed.


Just as they came for the 5th time the scream of lust alerted Lucius something was amiss.

He ran to the bedroom and slammed the door open.

"Narcissa? POTTER?!" Lucius screamed.

Noticing he forgot his cane he said "You're dead Potter!" He ran to get it.


Harry got up and said "I need to leave."

"Aww why lover? A few more rounds?" She grinned.

"If he catches me I'm dead." Harry said "I can't do magic out of school and I don't have anything to defend myself."


"Please Lucius is a complete failure at everything he does. The boy who lived can take him easily."

"I'm not the boy-who-lived. That… person of stories is fake. I can't do wandless magic and I don't have anything the books say. I haven't even heard of magic before first year." Harry said


Lucius came back with his wand and said "You're dead Potter! I'm gonna kill you for sleeping with my wife!"

Harry ducked and rolled past the killing curses sent at him.


"I didn't come on my own. She told me she was in love." Harry said dodging another shot.

"It's true Lucius. Your a fucking shrimp compared to Harry." Narcissa said smiling.


Harry jumped over the bed and saw Narcissa wand on the nightstand. Harry grabbed it and fired a killing curse that connected with Lucius.

Harry's curse overloaded Malfoy's and the killing curse hit the death eater sending the now dead pureblood to the ground.

Harry grabbed the letter and went back to his room. Standing there was Tonks,Shacklebolt and Moody.

He covered his groin and said "What are you doing here?!"

Tonks was speechless so Moody said "Ministry picked up you doing underage magic outside school."

"Which is strange because port keys are not supposed to be tracked. Too many are used to be against underage law." Shacklebolt said.

"How the hell does that fit in your pants?!" Tonks said eyes bulging out her skull. Literally.

"It's a grower not a shower." Harry said. "Why the bloody hell are you people the ones to come to question me? Is your lives that boring you waist your time on a small boy perverts!"

"You're no way a boy or small Harry." Tonks said.

"Harry you've been court summoned." Shacklebolt said.

"Full wiznotts council. Dumbledore will defend… "

"HELL No!" Harry said reaching for a pair of boxer-breifs. "That wrinkled uncle Tom won't. I'm defending myself. Give me a law book and get the hell out so I can get dressed."

They left with Shacklebolt pulling Tonks out "No I wanna see!" She yelled.

Harry got dressed and walked out. Shacklebolt handed him a book the size of a passport. "Office law book. Self updating."

Harry read it on the night bus trip and found some interesting facts that gave him an edge.

As Harry was lead into the courtroom Narcissa showered and dressed. She went to Gringotts and filed a divorce with her husband after transferring most of the gold in the value.

"I swear on my soul and magic I didn't kill Lucius Malfoy." She said sending up a spark and the goblin filled out the paperwork.

Harry dodged the restraints of the chair and said "I know my rights and you can't put me in that unless I'm deemed insane or have been previously arrested."

Fudge leaned over to umbridge and asked "Is that a real law?"

Umbridge looked at the book on her stand and said "Yes."

Fudge stopped the chair and said "Harry Potter who do you have to defend you"

"I'm my own lawyer." Harry said.

Dumbledore walked in and said "Sorry I'm late Harry. Your honor I will be the boys"

"Fuck off Dumbledore I don't need you here. I'm defending myself and you'll shut the hell up for once in your life."

Fudge looked at the boy for a second and said "Very well. Harry James Potter you stand here guilty of your fourth bout of underage magic. "

"Objection! I'm not underage." Harry said grinning.

"Your 15 years old!" Umbridge said slamming her hands on the table.

"Yes I am but you forget exactly who I am. I am an adult by wizard standards 3 times over." Harry said grinning.

This cause the people of Wiznotts to murmur to one another. Fudge sent a firework up and said "How exactly are you of age you attention seeking brat?"

"Pureblood law 267054: any final person of a pureblood family is considered emaciated oppone the death of the parents." Harry said grinning.

"Harry I insist" "Shut up Dumbledick." Harry cut the old man off.

"You're not a pureblood!" Fudge said glaring at Harry.

"Maybe not but I am the son of James Potter and he had no siblings. I'm the last Potter and that means I'm a grown man in wizard laws." Harry said.

The Wiznotts muttered an agreement.

"That doesn't count." Fudge said.

"Very well. I am an adult the moment I won the triwizard tournament." Harry said grinning.

"And what say this?!" Fudge said digging his own grave.

"Tournament rules 803: upon being victorious of the Triwizard tournament the victor is pardoned of all crimes prior to the event." Harry said.

"How does that make you an adult?" One of Wiznotts said.

"Rule 799: only of age witches or wizards can participate in the tournament. Since I wasn't arrested for participating I was emancipated the moment my name left the goblet of fire."

The room gasped at this.

"Harry you should…" Dumbledore started but Harry said "No one wants to hear it Dumbledick."

Fudge could feel the he was gonna lose but sighed when Amelia Bones said "And the third thing that categorized you as an adult?"

Harry chuckled and said "Well that is everyone in this room of course."

The room went quiet as they tried to figure out how they're to blame.

"Rule 100: Any minor aka me, brought before the full Wiznotts council, aka you all, is emancipated to be tried as an adult." Harry said seeing Fudge lose all color in his face. "So you see. You Fudge, in your quest to silence me have torn down the one obstacle in my way."

Fudge, with shaking hands picked up his wand and said "All who see Harry James Potter innocent of underage magic."

All wand went up.

Albus didn't like what this meant. Harry had no restraint on where he can practice magic. "Harry my boy I…" he was cut off by Harry firing a silencing hex at him.

"Harry Potter you are officially an adult by wizard law. On your way out go to the department of underage Wizardry and have the trackers removed from your wand." Amelia said.

Harry strutted out the room flipping off Dumbledore. "See yea at school Old man." Harry said grinning.

He went back to Privot Drive and torched the building with the family in a body bind. Harry smiled as the hell of his childhood went up in flames.

Epilogue

15 years later

Narcissa moved to the tropics and lived in luxury raising her daughter's Nicky and Jasmine Black. Both had their father's hair and eyes. "Thank Merlin for the-boy-who-let-me-live-free." Nerissa said raising the drink in her hand.

The girls were coming back from Hogwarts and said "Mom we've made some new friends. 2 boys and 3 girls. All had brown or black hair and all had eyes like us."

Nerissa raised an eyebrow and said "Really? Weird coincidence."

And done

It may not be good but it's a thought I had. Review. This won't be a multi chapter fic.

Here's the legal version no song lyrics