Cry

RORY: Does it have to be all or nothing?

LOGAN: Yeah, it does.

RORY: But we could at least try.

LOGAN: What's the point?

RORY: So...

LOGAN: So... goodbye, Rory.

***

LORELAI: How you doing, honey?

RORY: Uh, okay.

LORELAI: Yeah?

RORY: Well, I'm not okay. I feel awful. I feel sick. I miss him already.

LORELAI: I know.

RORY: And it just sucks, you know, because I graduated today. This was supposed to be a happy day in my life, and now when I look back on it, I'm just gonna think about this horrible thing that happened.

LORELAI: I'm sorry.

***

If anyone asks,
I'll tell them we both just moved on
When people all stare
I'll pretend that I don't hear them talk
Whenever I see you,
I'll swallow my pride
and bite my tongue
Pretend I'm okay with it all
Act like there's nothing wrong

It was supposed to be Rory's happiest day.
What came out was the most horrible day she'd ever had.
She'd turned down Logan's proposal. She hated herself for turning it down. But then again… she did it for herself. God, she was so selfish. Logan loved her like he had never loved anyone before. He really did and she, Rory, had nothing better to do than turning him down.
She wondered how she was going to survive this. Would this hole where once her heart had been, ever be refilled again?

Is it over yet?
Can I open my eyes?
Is this as hard as it gets?
Is this what it feels like to really cry?
Cry

At first she hadn't had the power to cry. It's been as if she was empty, completely empty. And she really didn't want to cry in front of her mother. Her mother who thought she'd made the right decision. Afterwards Rory actually had wondered what kind of mother actually wished that her daughter didn't marry the man she knew was the love of her life. And then again she couldn't understand Logan's reaction. He knew that she loved him. Why had it to be all or nothing?

If anyone asks,
I'll tell them we just grew apart
Yeah what do I care
If they believe me or not
Whenever I feel
Your memory is breaking my heart
I'll pretend I'm okay with it all
Act like there's nothing wrong

The following days and weeks were pure acting. And Rory was a great actress. Lorelai knew that Rory acted like there was nothing wrong. Rory didn't care. She told people what they wanted to hear: they grew apart and moved on. Especially the Stars Hollow people didn't know about the proposal. And they would never get to know it.

Is it over yet?
Can I open my eyes?
Is this as hard as it gets?
Is this what it feels like to really cry?
Cry

Every morning when Rory woke up she hoped that everything would be the same like it was before her graduation. She and Logan would be the happiest couple on earth and nothing could tear them apart. And every evening she cried herself to sleep.

I'm talking in circles
I'm lying, they know it
Why won't this just all go away

"Dear Rory,
I'm writing a letter I'm never going to send to you. I hate myself for not giving us a chance. But why did you turn me down? I'll never be able to understand it. You were the love of my life, you are the only woman I've ever loved.
There are theses waves. Why won't theses waves go away? I'm not getting what I'm doing. I'm not me anymore. When I look into the mirror I see a stranger. It's not me.
You once sad I had the most beautiful, sparkling eyes. The sparkles are gone. You are gone. Have you ever loved me? Has everything been a lie? I hope not.
I love you, Rory Gilmore. I always will.

Forever and always,
Logan"

Is it over yet?
Can I open my eyes?
Is this as hard as it gets?
Is this what it feels like to really cry?
Cry
Cry

Author's Note: Ok, this is what came out, when I heard the song "Cry" by Kelly Clarkson. It made me write this oneshot. And for everyone who hates me because I haven't updated my other story for more than a year: I'm so sorry. I'll try and come up with another chapter sometime in the next few weeks.

Please review for this oneshot!