A/N: So I've been reading WAYY too much Secret of the Cursed Mask fan fiction lately and decided to write a one-shot of my own. I know it is way beyond vague, but I hope the poetic morals in it make up for that. I wanted to make this vague enough that it could apply to any of the characters that the main character in the PS2 game spent time with, even though it might have a romantic tinge to it. I also designed it with the hopes that it could function for either the boy or the girl Kururugi character. Anyways, I might as well start off by saying that this contemplative piece takes place right after your character sees the image of the one they care about the most in the sky and thinks, 'I wonder how you're doing.' I know there are probably some holes in this, so maybe this would function for any of the best friends that AREN'T InuYasha or Kagome, since both of them can easily pass through the Bone Eater's Well. I tried! I really did! Please, R&R, it makes me happy.
Disclaimer: I own only a copy of the truly magnificent Secret of the Cursed Mask game, and none other of the aspects.
Irreplaceable
I wonder how you're doing…
I stare up at the sky, into the swaths of colors painted there by the paintbrushes of my imagination and the reflection of a gorgeous sunset. At the visage of you, the person who means the most to me in this entire world.
Even as I think this, I'm ruining my moment of contemplative longing, more tears streaking down my face as another pondering enters my mind. And I wonder if you heard me.
In those last moments in the Sengoku Jidai, as I faded from your view and yours from mine, and the blinding white light engulfed me, did you hear me?
Did you hear me call your name?
Because I heard you call mine.
Did you hear what I said to you?
I heard you try to say goodbye.
Do you see my face painted across the sky?
Because I see yours.
Will you ever forget me?
Because I'll never forget you.
Will you remember the day that we first met forever as the best day of your life?
Because I will.
I know, that tonight, you'll be the only face in my dreams.
Do you?
I'm forever going to wonder what might have happened, what might have been.
Will you?
The rest of my life will be spent in fond remembrance.
How about yours?
Every aspect of my life is going to remind me of sweet memories.
Will yours?
Every day I'll wake up and expect to see you waking up next to me.
Will you?
I know I'll miss you.
And I know you'll miss me.
These thoughts all pass through my head, these questions forever doomed to be unanswered.
You were the first person I ever truly cared for. You taught me so much, and showed me how to have fun and look on the bright side when my world had been turned upside down and inside out. You cheered me up, and gave me hope when I was ready to give up. You took me back, each and every time I foolishly tried to go off on my own. You dealt with my being a burden until I grew strong, and you helped me get that way even as you treated me as an equal while I was weak. You tried to stop me from falling, but were there to catch me if I did. You taught me some of the most important lessons in life, and helped me to destroy not only my doubts and inner demons, but the embodiment of everything we stood against. You shared with me your past and others', your supplies and food and care and love; you never deprived me of anything I needed.
You comforted me when I was sad, rejoiced with me when I was happy, forgave me when I screwed up, commiserated with me when I was complaining, battled by my side when I was vengeful, soothed me when I was angry, stood by me through thick and thin, and…
You became the most important person in my life; someone close to me beyond the point of irreplacability. You are someone I will always remember. Someone whom I want to share, yet want to keep to myself; someone whose experiences I am joyful to have shared, but am sad that I cannot speak of them to others. You are the only person there will ever be that can fill the now-empty space in my heart.
How am I supposed to go on without you? You are everything to me, and I may not ever see you again. But I know that you wouldn't want me to be weak. You would want me to go on, to open my heart to others and live my life happily. You would want me to learn from the things you taught me, and teach them to others; you would want me to live by them in my daily life. You would hope that I lived out my days happily, with worries no bigger than the decisions we must make in life, and pleasures equivalent to the joy only your company can bring me.
Tell me how I'm supposed to do that… When the only emotion I can muster when I think of my life without your presence is incredible agony. I feel almost like I can't move on and fulfill what you would wish.
And at the same time I know that this is how it is supposed to be.
It hurts so much… But I know I can get past it. I won't be weak. I'll be okay. It'll take time to get used to living without you, but I can do it. You didn't help make me strong for nothing.
And I know you can get past it, too.
Now there are only slivers of dying gold as the sun slips back over the horizon.
Slowly it fades away until all that is left is the blank, dark sky, waiting for the first stars to peek out of their hiding places and twinkle before our waiting eyes.
You fade with the sunlight.
And now the only thing left to light my eyes is the reflection of the huge bonfire, its wooden dolls burning forlornly.
And I see the message the bittersweet end to what was supposed to be a normal day has come.
You were the sunny daylight of my life; you were the sun that kept me smiling and made me strong. But now, with you gone, the night of my life is done, and I enter what I know is going to be one of the darkest times of my life.
But there is one thing that reminds me that I can get through this.
A bonfire lights my way through the darkness in the form of your memory and the lessons you taught me. And all I have to do is remember that, and I will be able to survive until the dawn comes, and then the sun will rise again in the form of someone new that can make me smile, who can laugh when I laugh and cry when I cry, just like you did.
But the light of that new sun will be just a little bit duller, just a little less bright, than you always were.
And… do you know what that means?
It means that, like the end of my adventures today, my life will follow in its footsteps of bitter sweetness. Despite the fact that I'm going to get through it and try to be happy. Because no one can replace you, the first and brightest sun in the sky of my life.
You are irreplaceable.
