Secrets
I heard the beats of my heart and I knew what I have to do.
It was 3 am; I could see the rain dripping through my window until I couldn't bear the loneliness any longer all my thoughts becoming one, 'my life was a lie'. I didn't understand how my parents, well; Lynn and Stephan, had lied to me all this time but now everything was in place, the 'missing' infant photos, the rejection from my grandma; now everything was clear. Each tear that fell into my body feels like a punch into reality which attacks my spirit destroying it in pieces. I felt the need to tell someone all the things that were happening to me and the only one that could help me with that was Adrian, my in and again boyfriend since I had 14, but for the last couple of years we had started told ate as a serious couple and I new that I could count on him.
I started to go down stares from the 5 floor when I remembered, -it´s raining- and a voice inside me told me 'you can't go you can't move from here you know the rain is going to hurt you'. Since I could remember I knew I had this inner voice that told me things I didn't know before. I couldn't explain where this voice came from, it was just there. Although I knew, from past experiences, that water specially rain; when it falls into my body it feels like it is burning my skin.
But then it didn't matter because I needed Adrian with me, needed him to hold me and tell me that everything would be alright. So I started running; trying to escape from the pain though all I wanted to do was scream bloody murder, but I couldn't I need to get to Adrian. When I finally got into his apartment I started to knock but I noticed it was open so I pushed it and got in. The lights were turned off there were some candles, a bottle of wine and a lot of clothes scattered over the floor; female clothes too and a part of me knew what was going on before I pushed the door of his room and that's when I saw the most pornographic scene ever. I stayed there for one second and then the scream in my throat came out.
-¡Adrian! I said tears threatening to spill from my eyes.
-¡Rose! ¿¡what- what are you doing here!? – he asked trying to get up. – "it's not what it looks like! He quickly shouted.
How he possibly said that made me want to punch him but I didn't want him to see me cry and I knew that if I stood any longer he would. So I masked my pain with anger.
-¡I'm leaving you with that whore! And don't even try to call me again asshole.
-¡no please wait i can explain things to you, just, Rose I'm sorry!
I just left and as soon as I was out of his apartment I ran down the stairs as fast as I could, not even bothering to think where I was headed. I couldn't believe everything that was happening to me. first I discovered I'm adopted, then I found my boyfriend in bed with other woman; I don't know what to do, I couldn't take this much, and to worsen it all, I was still under the fucking rain and the physical pain was getting worse!
Just then I observed my arm and was surprised to notice the damage the rain had caused to my skin there were some red stains that looked like sparkles which was weird because my skin had never been like this before.
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I knew since i have 5 years old i was different from the others, doctors and psychologist never found the truth of what was wrong with my body until i got 10 years old they experimented with me, Lynn and Stephan thought that was the right thing to do but i knew nothing can explain what is happening to me so i lied and tell them after a vaccine the doctors put me called RG 13 that i was fine and i felt better, that was the only way to start living like a "normal" person. The memories of my childhood becoming too strong, my legs failed me and I slumped to the ground I was feeling as if I couldn't breath, a weight in m chest. Then that voice in my head again started talking –Rose, Rose- in a soft yet strong tone. The moment I heard it I fell like someone was controlling me making me all the suffering and pain go away, offering me a solution.
-¡a knife!,¡ i don't need more this pain I'm going to finish it!- i couldn't believe i was saying that but in a moment I took the knife and with all my courage i decided to introduce it in my stomach but…
The moment I try to introduce the knife into my stomach the knife bends itself not cutting me in the least, at first I felt defeated but suddenly I realized what I was about to do I threw the useless knife to the ground.
"What is wrong with me!" I said feeling more scared than ever.
Unfortunately the suffering started again but more intensely I didn't know where it was going to end and I just curled in a ball; hoping the numbness would arrive. The last thing I remember before closing my eyes is the silhouette of a man across from me on the other sidewalk. He seemed to look at me and grin; but maybe I was imagining it.
What seemed like hours later I woke up in a strange place.
"where am i?" I ask to no one in particular.
"You're on mercy's hospital and finally you wake up i was worried about you." A soft voice coming through the room told me.
"¿Who are you and what happened to me?"
"I don't know too much but you appeared in the lobby yesterday night, unconscious and wet. Some young, tall guy brought you hear and told us to take care of you. He looked very estrange but as we took you in to the emergency room he was gone. Do you know who he was?" the nurse asked me. she looked to be about forty, and had a friendly smile.
I was confused, somebody took me to the hospital but who? I remembered the figure I had seemed to see but I didn't thought he had been very tall. Then it hit me, I had tried to kill myself. I needed to know what was going on.
But first I had to get out of here.
-"I really don't remember a thing of what happen to me, but I'm fine now." I lied.
-"Mmm, that 'strange," the nurse said sounding unconvinced, "you came here without pulse and you looked different when you came here, I don't know how to say it, but, look I'll show you.
-¿what do you mean with that?
-"wait here one moment."
I didn't understand what did she meant; of course I would look different, I was passout, pale, and wet to my bones.
Just then the nurse came back with a mirror.
- look at yourself," – she said.
I contained the urge to roll my eyes at her; I couldn't believe my eyes as I looked at myself and let a strangled gasp. I was naturally tanned, and had long brown hair threat goes almost until my mid waist. But now my hair was almost white, my eyes totally grey and my face somehow looked different.
-"¿what happened to me?"
- "see I wasn't joking."
-how, can I change like this out of the blue? I have to get out of here."
- I'm sorry but I can't let you do that, you have to stay here until your parents get here; we already called them they are on their way.
I was about to protest but I had an idea. "Okay, I'll wait for them then, I'm going to seep now if you don't mind. Would you tell me when they arrive?
-"ok sure, I have to check on other patients if you need something just let me know.
-"okay, thank you."
As soon as the door was closed I looked around the room until I found my clothes in a nearby closet. I quickly changed clothes and opened the door, walked through the hall and took the elevator. When I finally cross the whole reception the nurse that was in care of me was in front of the door and look at me I didn't knew what to do so I started to run and go about to the hospital, I leave her after running for 5 minutes when I stopped in some plot of a land that look very creepy like those forest where people got killed. I Heard the nurse calling me so i have no option I jump into the forest with all my strength, I didn't want her following me telling me that I have to stayed at the hospital, but I needed to discover what had happened to me. Suddenly I saw a shadow coming through the trees, I felt fear shot through me as I saw a man approaching me, he was really tall, about 6'5 and had chin-length brown hair. He was really handsome, but his eyes looked dangerous, I tried to put a defensive posture, even though I knew nothing about personal defense.
"Rose?"
I couldn't believe it he knew my name and he looked at me as if he had known me for years.
"How do you know my name? Who are you?"
"I'm Dimitri. I'm the one that brought you to the hospital."
"Why?"
I'll explain later but right now you have to trust me. You aren't safe here; you have to come with me."
"Rose I know you probably have a million questions and if you come to me I can help you find the answers you are looking for."
And I didn't know what did it, but I decided to trust him.
