A/N: Sequel to "Who's In Charge Here," "Pushing the Limits," "Steves of Our Lives." If you don't want to read the dream where D.J. gives Michelle light fwaps, skip between the dotted lines. It's easily canon the guys would never consider it, fans agree, but a minority felt it happened like the dream at first, in discussions about the Chronology years ago. Their minds changed for two reasons. Most notable was likely fan frustration at first over how little Michelle was punished on screen. Once fans saw the control and bond D.J. had to have had with Michelle realistically, even just reacting, and how much the doctor, etc. would have helped, it didn't seem as necessary to even the more insistent ones for D.J. to have done it. Plus, fans didn't want to say it happened, so they flocked to D.J.'s "Tale of Two Princesses" idea, so Michelle knew D.J. would do it before an actual threat, so she wouldn't test it. It was never very likely something like the dream would be seen as canon by most – "Pushing the Limits" would likely have been it anyway – but there was a small chance at first. A minor point was timing, alluded to by D.J. after the dream.
Though D.J. wouldn't have had to give even a really light "spanking," she'd have been very busy at certain times. As happens sometimes, Danny ignored enough, he'd end up being seen like the doctor says here. Those first years are crucial. He began to recover, but his ignoring stuff later would probably be his undoing, though Michelle would still turn out great, like we see her improve, as noted, over the last two seasons.
However, he wasn't bad by any means – as the doctor says here, Danny is…
Still A Great Father
"I think D.J. would rather tell you about her Sweet Sixteen ski trip."
Those words, spoken by widower Danny Tanner, helped evade – for the moment – questions of how Michelle had acted at Disneyworld, and before and after. D.J. was his oldest daughter, who had just turned sixteen; Michelle was six and wasn't disciplined at all by Danny till she was almost four. He also had a middle girl, Stephanie, eleven.
Dr. Landress, their pediatrician, was giving D.J. her annual checkup. He listened happily as D.J. raved about the trip. "It's too bad our Uncle Jesse didn't think about it being the week of his graduation; he still doesn't plan things well," she said. Danny's brother-in-law , Jesse Katsopolis, and Danny's best friend, Joey Gladstone, had moved in to help him raise the girls after his wife died almost six years ago. They still lived there, Jesse now with his wife Becky and twin boys Nicky and Alex.
"Still, it sounds like a great 'Sweet Sixteen' gift," the doctor commented.
"Joey took me to a hockey game. Dad…got me practical things," D.J. said with a hint of regret. "But, he gave me a great party! That's what's important."
"Practical things are important, too. It's great to have fun and everything; I mean, that's why we had the party," Danny began to ramble. "That's where it's great to have Uncle Jesse and Joey around. I do get carried away sometimes with the practical…"
Dr. Landress sensed Danny might be hiding something. He'd jumped from Michelle's behavior to D.J.'s Sweet Sixteen quickly. Yes, he loved to dote on all his daughters, so that was understandable. This ramble, however, made him wonder. "Let's get back to Michelle. I remember at Stephanie's checkup, you had just had the 'Funny Buddy' incident, where she called that joke hotline." He shined a light in D.J.'s eye. "Did she accept her punishment?" Danny said "not right away." The doctor switched eyes – everything was okay – as he asked, "What about with that dinosaur, it was in the paper about how a dinosaur got knocked over at a museum…?"
"Oh, I just promised fewer rules, I was way too strict," Danny said quickly.
"Oh, so, you instructed D.J. to handle the discipline?" It wasn't unheard of with that family; if Danny had been unsure of what to do, he imagined it was okay. He wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt, at least.
Danny fidgeted. "Yes, but, I told Michelle she could tell me if I was making too many rules, and I'd make fewer." The doctor almost dropped the light. "I've let her."
"And how has she handled that?" he inquired, trying in vain to sound neutral.
"She's been trying to get away with everything since," D.J. interjected, telling him about how she wandered at Disneyworld, was currently still grounded for over two weeks yet, and how she'd tested so many other limits even just after the dinosaur incident, insisting Danny had promised fewer rules.
Dr. Landress didn't like to roll his eyes at his patients – it didn't seem professional. He nearly made an exception, though. "Mr. Tanner, remember when we said you had to be consistent? You said at Michelle's checkup you didn't correct her last fall when she wasn't coming down for school; D.J. had to. You now didn't talk about the attitude problem at Disneyworld....yes, I agree her wandering was more dangerous, but still, with that promise added in, you have a monumental task ahead of you."
"I know. Doc…I'm trying. I just…do you think she can handle overnight camp? If D.J. is her boss at Camp Lakota, that might help. Right? I think she can handle it."
"She could; you know her best, and you say she's done well on sleepovers. Still, we are talking about solutions now. The way D.J. describes things, you shouldn't wait." He recommended a family meeting where they insisted that Michelle follow the rules. "You need to tell her you made a mistake in what you promised."
"But, I didn't. Although…" He sighed. The doctor was reminded of what he'd wondered at Michelle's three-year-old checkup, when he'd learned Mr. Tanner wasn't disciplining at all despite warnings to start a year earlier. He didn't look like one patient who admitted that not a day went by they didn't cry over such a loss. But, Mr. Tanner clearly had problems related to losing Pam. "Well, maybe I was trying to gain her favor a little."
The doctor lowered his voice, sounding more compassionate. "Mr. Tanner, we've been over this. She will always love you." Danny nodded; he knew that. "Letting the others say you were making too many rules at her age may have been okay, in moderation. But, to a girl who remembers you never punished? Whose misbehavior you ignored later?"
"I know; not the best strategy, huh?" He smiled as he looked down and saw himself dusting with a handkerchief. "Sorry; I guess your instruments are already clean."
The doctor was reminded of a joke his own parents always told – if you want to be a doctor, you'd better have lots of patients. He needed it, for people like this. "Mr. Tanner, I know losing your wife was painful. Maybe you're still feeling it, even with Vicki."
"Probably more. Thinking about how great it was with Pam, knowing it's still long distance here, it just reminds me of how close Pam and I were. This is so different."
The doctor understood. "I know it's rough. I speculated a few years ago that you were letting D.J. replace Pam in your mind, to make you feel more comfortable. You've done well, and we worked with her guidance counselor before you started punishing to make sure it wasn't too stressful for D.J.. But, you are the father, the one who has to take charge. I said you needed to be consistent to take the role someone else had in her mind."
He'd said at her three-year-old checkup Michelle saw D.J. as the ultimate authority – she could never have learned right from wrong, or to control herself, without someone enforcing limits, and Jesse and Joey never would. Three years later, after over a year where Danny was consistent, he was again struggling mightily.
"You did that for a while. At her five-year-old checkup you were doing great. Now? Part of her liked it when you let her get away with everything. She remembers that well at her age yet; the timing as to when might be fuzzy, but you opened the door for her to go back to that. If you'd let D.J. handle the dinosaur, with no promise, it would have worked after a while. Get together, work out a plan…and hope for the best."
Danny was silent for a while as the doctor went on to other things. Finally, near the end, he said, "D.J. doesn't have to take over for a while, does she? I remember this case you told me about, the single parent was really wild, like Jesse before he moved in, and the younger sister couldn't be controlled at all; eventually she went to live with her oldest sister when she was ten or eleven. It can't get that bad, can it, Doc?"
"It shouldn't get that bad; but, you need to take charge now so she learns boundaries are there. D.J. could have to for a short time. If it's as bad as D.J. says, with this being a stage when they insist on independence, anyway, I can see she might be trying to get it all. Try to get control first on your own. But, that respect for D.J. will still be there. It's like we said with the samples, when you ignored her crawling on the table into them, shortly after you started to discipline." The doctor had finally gotten over the shock that a near four-year-old would do that. "She's looking for a firm boundary, trying to see if you mean what you say. And, she may even be expecting it from D.J., because she's familiar with D.J. being there when she goes too far." Danny thanked him, and they left.
Danny told Michelle that he'd let her go to Camp Lakota like she wanted; but that D.J. would be her boss. They talked about how she had to follow the rules, but Michelle had almost no privileges, from being grounded after Disneyworld, with no TV – she'd taken the tram to a whole other section of the park! - and then other things she'd pulled in the week since they got back. Danny realized the talk wasn't working when the next morning, she was caught having been watching TV, when she knew she wasn't allowed to as punishment. When Danny send her to her room for timeout that morning, she insisted Danny promised fewer rules, and kept trying to argue.
Saying "she's all your, Deej," and telling Michelle he'd given her complete control over Michelle's behavior and discipline till she was ready to listen to him, had been one of the toughest things he'd ever had to say because of the lecture and threat he knew Michelle would get. D.J. would warn Michelle before she did it, and she'd never hurt Michelle's bottom; but Danny knew she'd break her heart with light fwaps if she had to, and that would make them all really sad.
D.J. sighed, as she recalled just how long it had been that she'd been trying to get Danny to be consistent with Michelle. She knew it was hard losing Pam – she'd lost her, too, after all. But, ever since that first day in Junior High, talking to her guidance counselor, it had been rough.
Roberta Myer stood and welcomed another new 7th grader at Van Atta Junior High. "Hello, Miss Tanner," she said sweetly, as they shook hands.
"Hi," D.J. said with a slight chuckle. "Boy, that makes me sound grown up."
The guidance counselor could tell D.J. was a little stunned. As they sat, Mrs. Myer asked, "How was your first week?"
"Rough. I ate lunch in a phone booth my first day. But, it's going pretty well now." D.J. agreed when the counselor suggested that she may feel a little overwhelmed. "I'll be glad to get to high school; hopefully the older kids will be more mature there."
Mrs. Myer noted, "Junior Highs are giving way to Middle Schools all over. It's pretty certain we'll switch to 6-8th grade next year, instead of 7-9th. So, you'd only have two years here. Still, it's a great place." They would go to 6-9th a few years after that.
"I know. I found all my classes well. I'd love to be Valedictorian, and give a big speech at graduation," she mused dreamily; she always wanted to be the best. "I've already signed up for the newspaper staff, and Students Against Driving Drunk." She hesitated, and then decided to come right out and say, "My mom was killed by a drunk driver. It was a little over two years ago," she finished lowly.
"I'm sorry." D.J. thanked her. "Tell me about your family." She'd thought D.J. sounded stressed at first, though apparently school that was causing it now. She wondered if D.J.'s home life was the reason.
"Our Uncle Jesse – that's my mom's younger brother – and Dad's best friend Joey moved in to help him raise us. I've got two younger sisters, Stephanie just started 2nd grade, and Michelle will be three in November."
"How has everyone dealt with it?" Mrs. Myer asked, knowing that the effects of a tragic loss lasted for years at times.
She soon realized where that bit of stress was from. "Really well, except, well, Dad's very good with everything; cooking, work, and especially cleaning. He's very consistent with Steph and I. He punishes normally, like when our mom was alive - we'd get sent to our rooms for doing something bad when younger, now we're old enough we get chores or we're not allowed to go anywhere, or we lose a privilege like TV." The counselor nodded. "But…he has never enforced one limit with Michelle, what he'd call punishment. Even if it's just chores, chores are punishment in our house. He'll talk to Michelle, so do Uncle Jesse and Joey." Mrs. Myer nodded her understanding as D.J. finished by saying, "But, I'm the only one who has taught Michelle bad behavior has negative consequences."
"You've sort of had to fill your mom's role there, huh?" When D.J. confirmed it, and explained how she disciplined Michele, Mrs. Myer said, "I see why you have such big expectations of yourself. Not many kids come in and say they plan to be Valedictorian."
D.J. had to laugh. "I guess that is a lot, huh?" Although, she would do it.
"It's a good goal; but, while it's okay to want to be the best - and it's great you're a leader - you don't have to be as much of one as you do at home."
"I know. It's just frustrating, because I remember how Dad was with Steph at that age. He's still a great, loving father, but…well, for instance, last November, Michelle started painting on her dresser. A day or two later it rose to coloring on walls. He wouldn't even say 'no' or take the paint or crayons away. He tried to distract her, but it didn't work," she complained. "That's when I knew I had to enforce the limit, so she wouldn't color on walls. Uncle Jesse and Joey are both really nice, but they're afraid of becoming like their dads, I guess." D.J. shook her head, glad to have someone to tell beside her best friend, Kimmy Gibbler. Kimmy was a good listener, but she was quite dumb. Her advice was almost always weird. "Michelle listens well when she knows her limits, don't get me wrong. But, she had to have someone enforce a limit to learn what her limits are. Once I put her in timeout, like we'd get at that age, and talked to her about why it had happened, that was the end of the problem. I had to time her out for it one other time, that's all."
"Did your father support you?" D.J. said he always supported her. Mrs. Myer chose her next words carefully. "It sounds like he feels powerless. That's normal after a tragic death; it made him feel so powerless to lose your mom."
D.J. said it had, and told of the first Thanksgiving, including the turkey she tried to make.
"He's had a lot of help; from you, and from your uncle and Joey. And, he probably feels powerless to stop you from disciplining Michelle. So, he handles everything else well?" D.J. said he did, adding that Danny hosted "Wake Up, San Francisco" with Jesse's girlfriend, Becky. "That's good. I've talked to young people who have to bathe younger ones, get them dressed for school, do the cooking, the cleaning, everything."
"Wow," D.J. said. Her head spun. "I never realized some kids had it that bad."
"Some do. Depression takes many forms. It sounds like your father has just this one block, where he wants to keep thinking of Michelle as a baby. Have you talked to him?" She had, and so had Dr. Landress, their pediatrician. It wasn't a huge problem - Michelle was very compliant - but it could be. "I'm sure Dr. Landress told your dad the importance of what we call the 'two I's', isolate and ignore." He had. "Keep doing what you do. Try to get your dad used to the idea that Michelle isn't a baby. In the meantime, pick your battles. Don't fight over every little thing. Coloring on walls, yes, I can see you had to do something. But, with something like sassiness, let's say, if it's not really bad, talk gently with her about it and get her to talk politely. Make sure she does before you go any further, so she learns good habits. Or, if it's not big, that can be something to ignore."
D.J. said politeness was encouraged, but not enforced strongly. She didn't like how Michelle copied Jesse's band in saying 'duh' and calling people 'dude,' including their dad, but Mrs. Myer was right. It was something they could work on slowly.
"Right; she just needs to learn what to say instead, and get into good habits. Catch her being good as much as possible; try hard to give her two positives for every negative." D.J. was writing down everything her guidance counselor had said by now. "It's not always possible, but it'll even out. Just make sure she sees you're doing it because you love her; not just hearing your words, but seeing it in your actions."
"Thanks; I try to." D.J. didn't mention the stress was starting to cause problems between Stephanie and her, too. "You don't think…I'll be stuck doing this forever, do you?"
Mrs. Myer shook her head, though she wasn't totally sure. "No, I don't think so. The longer it goes, the more likely it is she'll see you as the ultimate authority in her life. But, it sounds like your dad will come around. He has with other things. And, anytime you have questions, don't hesitate to come talk to me about it."
D.J. promised to, not imagining how much she would.
(Michelle painted on her dresser, with Danny not even removing the paints, in "Beach Boy Bingo." The phone booth scene, of course, is from "Back to School Blues.") And, of course, Danny uses the "still a baby" excuse in "Crimes and Michelle's Misdemeanor" even though the doctor would have been through this with him for two years before, as noted in my story "Who's In Charge Here?" and elsewhere.)
(Next is just after "Divorce Court," allusion to just before "Aftershocks," a mention of Book Universe & more proactive D.J., and a future reference to "Slumber Party.")
Mrs. Myer was dressed as a Fairy Godmother at the grade school's carnival. She spotted D.J. and Stephanie. "Hi, D.J.," she said, walking up to them.
At least it's not another student seeing me here, D.J. said to herself. Before she could say anything, though, Stephanie introduced herself, and spoke, mostly pretending this was a real fairy godmother, yet part still wanting to believe. . "Since you're a fairy godmother, I have a question," Stephanie said. "What do you do if someone wishes for more wishes?"
"I say, 'Sorry, I'm only allowed to give you what will help at the time, not in the future," she said with a laugh. "Your sister's certainly outgoing,' she told D.J..
"Can you believe she didn't even want to come here? This is a great party, isn't it, Deej?" Stephanie asked.
Mrs. Myer could tell D.J. was a little weary. "Children, especially the oldest, sometimes find themselves taking on new duties in your situation. I know it can be rough."
"It is." She suggested Stephanie see if her friends had any more funny questions to ask Mrs. Myer. When Stephanie left, D.J. said, "I feel kind of bad. Since that earthquake, she has been a little more anxious." Stephanie would have to see a doctor once to talk about it, in fact, as it was the only time she couldn't really explain what she was feeling, after a few weeks. "But yet, I just feel…well…"
"Trapped?" Mrs. Myer guessed.
"Not trapped so much as, well, I know what you said is true, about normally having a little more responsibility." She thought for a moment. "I could accept that a lot better, even if Dad was taking Michelle to me and asking me to handle things; you know, like a team captain. And, there are times when I think I should be more proactive. But yet, I keep telling myself, I don't have to be proactive. Uncle Jesse and Joey are there, and they're supposed to fill that role."
"So you wind up wanting your own way more?" When D.J. nodded Mrs. Myer remarked, "I think you might be feeling a little trapped. Because, I think you're looking at it from the wrong angle." She chuckled. "I mean, look at me; a professional in public dressed like this." Both laughed. "I did it to show students at Van Atta it's okay to have fun. And, because some students make me feel like a Fairy Godmother."
D.J. stifled a giggle; she really could see how some students might make a counselor feel that way. "You know, Mrs. Myer, that makes a lot of sense."
"Any time you're with Stephanie, you just need to remind yourself you fill a special role. She might not need you as much as she could have. But, there will be times when she does need you." When D.J. was silent, Mrs. Myer decided to add, "Even if it hurts because you think about not having your mom there."
D.J. sighed. "You know, it's funny. I wasn't thinking about Mom not being here this time. I mean, with Steph's Honeybee slumber party, sure; part of me was all ready for that. Except, now Becky tells me she was a Honeybee, so if Steph even wants to go…" She stopped herself. "That's almost a year away."
"Well, it's good to plan ahead. But, for now, just remember, you do have more of a role than usual. And, even if you don't think about it this way, I'm sure that the way you have to react at times with Michelle makes it harder, doesn't it?"
"Yeah, a little," D.J. said, happening to see several grade school kids with their moms. "But, you're right. Our mom always taught us to put others first."
D,J.'s first test came quickly, as Stephanie and Walter quickly came up to them. "Walter here wants to know why you gave Cinderella glass slippers. Wouldn't they cut her feet?"
D.J. held up a hand. Mrs. Myer was right. She needed to have fun. Including right here. "It was actually a special, space age material. They'd never seen it back then, so they called it glass because it just looked like it," D.J. explained.
"Well said," Mrs. Myer complimented her.
D.J. smiled. It was rough. If she'd been proactive, the argument with Stephanie from last night never would have happened. But, she did need to try to be more civil with Stephanie. Their mom would want it that way.
("Slumber Party" is a month *before* "Crimes & Michelle's Misdemeanor" because of weather patterns and leaves (mid-October). Teasers can be anytime before an episode if unrelated, even before other eps. "Good News, Bad News" referenced, which is at least the week after "Slumber Party," but otherwise, the first half of season 4's all mixed up!)
"Hi, D.J.," Mrs. Myer said as D.J. walked into the office. "How is 8th grade going?"
As D.J. sat, the guidance counselor could tell she was anxious to tell her something else before they talked about school. D.J. said, "Remember when I said Becky had been a Honeybee? It turned out I took Steph to her mother-daughter slumber party after all. We had such a great time." She smiled as she spoke of things they did, reminiscing, and so on. "You were right. Sometimes, she does need me. I was glad to be there."
After a couple minutes, D.J. asked if she'd told Mrs. Myer about catching Stephanie reading her diary again. "No, you hadn't. Did you try giving Stephanie the school paper, and encouraging her to read the gossip column if you had to?"
"I tried; she doesn't seem that enthused. She said it's just about kids she doesn't know." D.J. added, "Anyway, right before the end of the school year last spring; I realized she'd been reading it when she mentioned something embarrassing Kimmy had done."
"Ah, yes, Kimmy Gibbler. She's with the other counselor, in the A-M group. I've heard interesting stories myself, though I wouldn't repeat them," Mrs. Myer admitted.
"I'll bet. Anyway, I had a big argument with Kimmy; we almost broke up. And it proved something that Steph had said months earlier, that last time I caught her. She had the perfect chance to spill some of the things I was going to say about her. She could have just handed Kimmy the paper with that stuff I wrote on it. And yet, she didn't."
"I'll bet that made you feel good. What did she say last spring?"
"She said there was no way she could ever tell Kimmy the stuff I've written. She said she could never stand to hurt me like that." D.J.'s voice cracked a little. "On the one hand, I'm so proud of her. I'd like to think, maybe I played a part in that. But, I feel so bad for doubting her so much." Mrs. Myer remarked that Stephanie probably didn't realize D.J. doubted her. "I hope you're right."
"You probably worried more, because of Michelle. How has she been?"
D.J. sighed. "That's why I came to talk to you. Our dad has still never enforced one limit with her. And, she's getting a little more ornery. She wouldn't even go to bed one night."
Mrs. Myer reminded D.J. that - with Danny's permission - Dr. Landress, the pediatrician, had called her once, to compare notes to help the family, knowing that Danny struggled at times in the area of setting limits on Michelle. "Dr. Landress said this would be the age, as they start to realize they have control over others, when they try to test rules." She inquired, "How are you holding up?"
"Pretty well, for now. She's not out of control or anything, but I've had to put her back to bed that once. And, take a couple privileges away again."
"You don't want her to get too wild." Mrs. Myer folded her hands, and revealed what the doctor had said. "This may sound harsh. But, if your dad won't even enforce bedtime with Michelle, I think he needs to be forced; it's great that you've helped, but it's at the point you have to make him. Someone has to be teaching her what 'no' means. It sounds like your uncle and Joey aren't doing that. Even if they were, though, he has to be made to realize she's not a baby, and he's the parent."
In a way, D.J. had hoped someone would say that; it would give her more encouragement to know she was doing the right thing. "You're right. What do you suggest?"
"Keep talking to your dad. If all else fails, let go." D.J. wondered what she meant. "Don't correct her; let the men deal with her not going to bed. Things like that. But, tell her first, so she doesn't think she can get away with everything with you. Your dad will have to get used to this soon. Pick a weekend, so you can ease him into it, and you'll be home all day." Mrs. Myer asked if there were problems reported when she got home from school.
"No, Michelle's still pretty good, but I am worried."She said that was understandable; D.J. was still thirteen. And, while she might overreact a little with michelle,s he hadn't yet, ti seemed. D.J. continued. "Uncle Jesse has those talks with her, but he's afraid putting her in timeout will bring back memories of his dad screaming." The thought suddenly dawned on D.J.. "She's realizing he won't enforce either, huh?"
"She probably has made the connection that if she doesn't listen to him, she'll still get in trouble with you, D.J.. That's fine. But, your dad should be enforcing rules. We all need support once in a while. You have supported him very well. But, I think it's time to start planning for when you can let go, then pull the reins in if need be."
D.J. inhaled deeply. "You're right. I just feel so bad sometimes. I know Dad must hurt so much because Mom's not here," she told her.
"I'm sure it's very painful for him. But, remember what we said at first. Powerlessness is his real fear when it comes to Michelle. He has that power. You've taught her she has to listen to him, right?" D.J. nodded. "He just needs someone to show him he has power."
("Crimes and Michelle's Misdemeanor" – you didn't she *only* started disobeying that day, did you? As you'll see, there are signs that Michelle still knew she had to behave.)
"How did it go?" Mrs. Myer asked a few weeks later, before D.J. even sat down. She could see a smile on D.J.'s face.
"Better than I thought; but a little worse, too."
She raised an eyebrow. "How so?"
"Remember when I said Michelle wasn't going to bed? I spied on her a bit when she got up to watch Arsenio. She took her little shopping cart, filled it with food, or something, and guess what. She looked in the living room to see if the coast was clear first. She knew someone would make her go to bed, even if Dad and the others didn't."
"Go on."
"So, Dad punishes us for breaking a lamp, we have to rake leaves in the neighborhood. That was fine, we wished Michelle had been punished, too, but that signaled to me that it was a good time to start the plan. She'd blurted out that Dad let her get away with everything, but she knew I didn't." D.J. noted that, "When I handed Michelle the rake and told her to rake, she was very obedient, and never raised a fuss."
"Good. See, she knows right from wrong."
D.J. agreed. "There was one bad part, though. She filled her swimming pool in the house – well, Kimmy helped. If our dad hadn't stepped in it, I don't know if he would have put her in timeout." She paused. "In fact, I'm pretty sure he wouldn't have."
"Did you tell Michelle what you were trying?"
"Yep. She told me Dad would never punish her. She was his little princess. We let her think that; and her boasting helped convince Dad it was time to start. So, yeah, maybe he would have. But, his stepping in the pool really helped."
"You look like you've got a weight off your shoulders," the counselor agreed.
D.J. said she did. "I know there'll be some transition, but I'd bet her Dad would start, and she saw I was right. She sat in the corner that night very well, when she wouldn't go to bed hours later. I'm sure we're over the worst part," she spoke with certainty.
Back in the present, Danny walked up to D.J.'s room a short time later, knowing the lecture about trying to get away with everything, and only being sorry for getting caught, was over. "I'm sorry, Deej; I know my ignoring stuff made a mess of things," he muttered.
"I hope you're happy," D.J. proclaimed. "All this time, you've ignored Michelle because you miss Mom. Dr. Landress is right. It's like you wanted her here," she said, flailing a hand. "Well, I just had to tell my youngest sister if she didn't start to obey the rules right away, I'd do something you guys never dreamed of, but that Mom said she'd do if you had a kid as wild as Uncle Jesse. You wished Mom was still here; well, you've got her now!" With that, big tears of frustration welled up in D.J.'s eyes, and Danny embraced her, letting her cry in his arms. "I'm sorry, Dad. I know that had to hurt," she said after a moment. "Maybe worse than what I told Michelle."
Danny admitted that, "It hurt. But, it's true. I'm the one who ignored everything the doctor said about the need to start disciplining when Michelle turned two, and how she wasn't a baby. I let it get so bad, you told that 'tale of two princesses' soon after she dove into those samples, and all. After nobody had even considered it in our house, ever. I'm sorry, Deej. I was supposed to be the father, and I let everyone down."
D.J. backed away and looked him in the eye. "No, you're a great dad. This is the first time I've ever had to threaten it like this, although we talked that one time about what would happen with another samples-type incident. And, remember what my guidance counselors say at school, about how some parents take to drinking, and really get messed up? We both know you'd never do that, especially not after that drunk driver killed Mom." Danny agreed. "Or, how some parents are so depressed, they don't even get their kids dressed, or they make them cook and clean everything themselves?" she said hastily.
"I sure do the cleaning part, don't I?" he said, forcing a grin.
"You'll have company. Michelle's doing all the spring cleaning with you this year." She said it with no anger; simply like a mother was telling a dad what punishment she'd given. "She's eager to start. She's in the corner now, thinking about all the consequences we talked about of not obeying rules – short and long term. But, you'll have a chance to talk about Mom, and how you feel." She took his hands, and said, "But, Dad, I never want you to think you're a bad father. You are a very good one. I get upset sometimes, but Uncle Jesse's right. We have to stay together and get through."
While she wouldn't say it, she figured Danny struggled, though she overreacted a lot at times. For instance, a year later, when a date dumped him, she thought he could be "wandering the streets alone and depressed." He was never nearly that bad.
"Thanks, Deej. It'll be a good time to talk about how we feel, and everything. I know she'll listen to you. I hope she listens to me."
D.J. put a hand on his shoulder. "She will, Dad. Not just because I tell her to, either."
Danny was pretty sure. He figured Michelle just pushed so far she needed a very tough reminder. He called a family meeting, and they all discussed how they'd all watch and help Michelle so she didn't need D.J. to do what she threatened. It was just like last time, when D.J. had warned her what would happened if she dove into Becky's shower cake. Michelle started to behave very well, so D.J. didn't fwap her.
Danny was excited. A couple weeks later, after Michelle was ungrounded, Danny threw a "good girl party" for her to celebrate. She was starting to behave very well again.
Still, the stress of having D.J. threaten that remained, as did Dr. Landress' words. Was he making D.J. replace Pam in his mind? He had ignored a lot from Michelle; and while the doctor had gotten over it, Danny still remembered his initial shock that a near four-year-old would crawl in the samples like she did for half a minute. He wondered if D.J. really did replace Pam totally – in all minds.
And, with D.J.'s threat, it made him dream about what could have happened back then, as he slept fitfully one night.
In the dream, it was two years earlier. Danny had just run bath water. Now, he ran down toward the kitchen table, as four-year-old Michelle crawled on it, scooping up what was left of Becky's wedding shower cake, which she'd started to devour the same way – like the samples - before D.J. and he put her in the corner. It hadn't worked; D.J. let her up, and Michelle ran down despite D.J.'s threat. "Michelle what are you doing?" Michelle was wound up, and kept giggling and eating, getting even more chocolate on her.
D.J. stood at the top of the steps, her look speaking volumes. She said "don't bother" to him or Stephanie, who followed him. He knew a moment he thought impossible had come. He felt like a failure, especially to his late wife, Pam. He hadn't punished Michelle till a few months ago. Jesse and Joey never disciplined her. Joey hardly ever disciplined the older girls either, being too much like a kid himself. Jesse was too afraid of becoming his own dad to put her in timeout, but he enforced limits with the older ones.
"Michelle, don't eat all that cake…Remember what D.J. said…Michelle." He sighed. "Here…" He tried to grab her, but she slipped out of his grip; he didn't like getting messy, and she had chocolate all over her arms, face, and front, and was giggling and laughing from the effects of all that chocolate she'd consumed the first time.
"Think of it as one of Joey's 'Dennis the Menace' comics," D.J. had advised Stephanie earlier. The size difference between Michelle and D.J. was about like Dennis and his Mom. Stephanie saw D.J. come down with a towel that had been on Michelle's timeout chair so she wouldn't get chocolate on it. She said, "Remember, you pinky swore…" as Michelle told Danny not to stop her because she "wasn't finished." Stephanie had made D.J. promise to only hurt Michelle's feelings if she "spanked" her.
D.J. would only hurt Michelle's feelings even without the pinky swear, but that didn't make Danny feel any better right now.
"All right, young lady," D.J. scolded in a less sharp manner than usual, disappointment and sadness filling her voice. Only when D.J. grabbed her did Michelle go "eek!" She recalled D.J.'s earlier lecture - "You knew you couldn't have sweets because of your bad attitude. When sent to your room for hiding Uncle Jesse's wedding ring you ate cookies while you were supposed to be in punishment!..." And so on. She'd rattled off other bad behavior. Now, as D.J. carried her upstairs, she emphasized that Michelle had no more privileges. There were no more chores to give. Danny had no control, and even D.J. had run out of ways to punish. D.J. had warned Michelle that if she didn't listen this time…
Danny felt awful. He felt like he had to turn to Pam and ask for advice. Something was about to happen which he'd never imagined, which Pam had brought up as possible only if they had a kid as wild and rebellious as Jesse had been as a youth. There were so many chores to give, so many privileges to revoke, talking always worked, he'd been sure it would never happen. He wanted to cry out to Pam, asking where he'd gone wrong.
Stephanie followed D.J. upstairs, knowing D.J. wouldn't hurt Michelle, yet wanting to make sure. Danny appreciated Stephanie's gift of distinguishing tears; he remembered her telling him once D.J. was crying "I didn't do it" tears. Something else like Pam…
"Danny, what's wrong," Jesse asked as he and Joey came up from Joey's apartment.
Danny explained. "I wish I could be there. I feel like I've failed." He inhaled deeply. "I just have to figure Pam would have done the same with a kid…well, like you, Jess."
Jesse patted him on the shoulder. "It's gonna be okay."
"Dr. Landress said D.J. has a mothering bond. It's hard for me, too, but you just have to give a bunch of hugs, and let them know they're both loved," Joey said, adding D.J. probably felt like crying, too. Jesse agreed; D.J. would be broken-hearted.
Danny nodded, hearing crying as the door opened. "You're right. I better go up there."
Joey was right about both crying. Michelle knew in the back of her mind a puppy dog look wouldn't work; she'd just been too wound up. Now, though, she was anxious and a bit teary, pledging to be good. D.J. reminded herself to be gentler, even with Michelle's thicker outfit; she couldn't believe it was happening. D.J. said Michelle would remember how bad it was to disobey Daddy, crawl on tables into food, and disobey punishments, lifting her hand a bit, bringing it down with no strength, and pausing between each fwap to make sure Stephanie didn't signal by opening the door. That would have meant to go lighter because it sounded like it hurt. She never did. The length of time between fwaps made Michelle more anxious, as she wouldn't know what was coming. To D.J., just the notion that she was slapping Michelle's bottom even lightly was making her weep, too. This wasn't just playing around like kids do; she was really hurting Michelle's feelings.
Stephanie could tell they were just "I was bad" and "I'm scared" tears. D.J. was right; it was just a "scare tactic." Still, when D.J. was finished and let Michelle up, and said Stephanie could come in, hearing her wail at the end, even knowing it didn't hurt physically, broke her heart as she called for Michelle to come to her; the chocolate-stained girl quickly did. They hugged tenderly. D.J. put the towel over her own shoulder, and picked Michelle up and hugged her inside the door. "I'm a bad girl," Michelle cried.
As Danny walked in, D.J.'s sad "I love you"s helped soothe her as they hugged, but she still sobbed. It was the same scene he'd envisioned when Pam and he discussed it, after Jesse risked breaking his neck and rode his motorcycle on the ledge of a building. Knowing every other possible punishment was exhausted, yet Pam still being gentle. The Jesse clone not hurt, but scared, because it was so unusual.
Danny hugged both of them, unsure of what to say, except that everything would be okay. It was what he'd forced himself to consider, because it was such a shocking idea; something he'd told Pam she'd have to do, if it came to that. As Michelle uttered a tearful "I'm sorry," Danny simply said he knew, unsure of how else to handle it.
Jesse stepped into the room while Joey cleaned up downstairs. Michelle was down to sniffling. "She'll need clean clothes to change into, Steph," he muttered. Stephanie got some, and took them into the bathroom while he got Michelle. "Come on, munchkin." Michelle looked at D.J., seeming to wonder if she was allowed. D.J. said to go with him.
D.J. gave Jesse the messy towel to put in the hamper, and sat, dumbfounded. She had no clue what to say; she never dreamed it could get this bad. Thankfully, it would be the only time it would ever be needed. She was grateful when Danny embraced her, but wished she could ask Pam if she'd done well enough.
"You did your best." Danny began rambling. "I just…let you do it all. Michelle's still a baby to me …" He sounded normal, till he blurted, "You did a good job. I guess it's just like we talked about, Pam." Then, he seemed to get confused for a moment.
D.J. was faced with a new problem. Had she heard what she thought she heard? She knew adults could have crises, too, but this? She tenderly put a hand on his shoulder. Too shocked to know what else to say, or think how bad it might be, D.J. repeated her words to Steph when called to her Kindergarten class a few days after school began. Stephanie, grieving at odd times like kids do, had just burst out crying and asking for her Mommy once. "Mom's not here. She's in Heaven. But I will always be here for you. I promise."
Danny seemed to realize what he'd said. "Did I just…" His eyes widened.
"Dad, it's okay. Were you talking with Mom just now, or something?"
"I…I just…I don't know."
D.J. tried to recall what her guidance counselor had said. Michelle would have been a lot worse if D.J. hadn't disciplined her from the start. Maybe that was a good way to start. "I know I've handled a lot. My counselor always said she thought you wanted me to be Mom. You weren't the one raising us as little kids, it was always Mom. Remember how you said she always had everything running so smoothly?"
"Yeah. I just feel like, maybe I have forced you to do too much. I wonder if I've been a good father."
"Dad, you have been. My guidance counselor tells me about parents who face real depression." She noticed Danny was dusting a stuffed animal with his handkerchief. At least that was back, although she'd been told it might be partly a grieving mechanism. But, it was less freaky than being called "Pam." "Some don't correct at all; you've always told Michelle what was right and wrong, if you didn't enforce it. You've done a great job, you do lots of things really depressed parents wouldn't. You just clean a lot."
"I haven't done enough. If I'd done my job, Michelle would have listened. Nobody's done what you did in our families, and the fact you did is all my fault."
Jesse came in and said, "We got her clothes off and got her in the tub, Steph's watching. Don't worry about her wanting out; she won't dare unless D.J. says she can."
"How is she? I mean, I know D.J. wouldn't have tried to hurt her…"
Jesse sauntered over to the bed and sat on the other side from D.J.. "Trust me, my dad got too out of control with his anger at times, so my folks agreed never to hit, but out of a few hundred times in the principal's office, I got it a few. Michelle was scared, but I can tell the only thing hurt was her pride. Steph could tell, too, from the type of tears."
D.J. rose. "I don't know what's going on; Dad called me by Mom's name just now." She was still a little confused, and concerned, so she decided to stick with what she knew a little how to handle. "I better go talk with Michelle. Will you be okay, Dad?"
"Yeah, go, Deej." She hesitated. "Look, I'm cleaning Michelle's pig, I'm fine," he said, trying to be jovial. She finally left, as Joey came up from downstairs, with their dog, Comet, behind him. She told Joey what Danny said before entering the bathroom.
Michelle looked anxious as D.J. knelt and helped Stephanie finished wiping off the rest of the chocolate. "Is it over?" she asked. She hadn't tried to lick it off since D.J. carried her upstairs; now it was just a reminder of how naughty she'd been. "Disobeying Daddy," "crawling on tables," and "disobeying punishments" were etched in her mind, helped by the fact it was smeared all over her
"Yes, it's over." D.J. hated the thought, too. No way would she need to sit in the corner. She'd learned her lesson plenty. D.J. wouldn't even need to mention the spanking. She said, "That was really sad when you wouldn't obey the rules, huh?" Though it didn't hurt, Michelle put her hand on her bottom instinctively, thinking of how D.J. had held her down and given those light fwaps. Michelle's blush said she'd remember what D.J. did, and why, for a long time; the concept was very unusual to her, but she'd just been too anxious to test D.J.. D.J. tenderly washed her as they talked.
As Jesse tried to console Danny, Joey entered and said, "Hey, Danny, it's okay. I couldn't stand the thought, either, so I pretended I was in a Dennis the Menace cartoon."
"Yeah, well, what Danny's goin' through is different," Jesse pointed out.
Joey sat on the other side of Danny. "How so?" Comet jogged up to them and sat, and Joey scratched behind his ears. "Hey, Ruff, ol' boy," he said, referring to Dennis' dog.
Jesse opened his mouth and held up a finger as if to say something, then Joey's comment made him freeze as he adjusted his thinking. "Okay, it isn't. But, look, I've never even put the munchkin in timeout. I'll be scared about becomin' my dad when I have kids. I know it hurts; you were right, sometimes it never stops totally. But, calling D.J. Pam?"
"Jess, it's just that nothing like this ever happened," Danny explained. "I just wished so hard, I guess I wished D.J. into being Pam."
"Well, Danny, when I pretend I'm in a cartoon, it's just how I choose to see the world. I know this isn't Ruff. I can accept it, though it's tough. I know it happened to Dennis a few times in the comics, and I feel comfortable that D.J. handled it like Alice Mitchell; stars are the universal symbol for pain, and I don't think there were ever any stars."
"Why do I feel strangely comforted by that?" Danny asked. Shaking his head wearily, he added, "I'm still supposed to be the dad. How could I let it happen? I know it really just scared her, a few light slaps added to D.J.'s lecture, even if her little tush pinched a second I know she wouldn't notice, it'd be so emotional. But, still, I'm the one who let her get that far out of control. It is like I wanted Pam to be there."
Jesse looked back at Danny. "Look, Joey may have a little bitty piece of a point. I can see where you'd want to think of D.J. doing just what Pam would have done. I think she did before this. Your wife was the one who kept me from joining gangs as a teen because she turned the humor of carrots up my nose into a real threat." He couldn't help but chuckle at the memory. "I guess psychological warfare runs in the family, huh? But, you gotta accept, D.J.'s the one who handled this, like she's handled Michelle for two years."
Joey had another point. "And, Danny, it's okay that you wouldn't do that. If it's D.J.'s job, and you would handle all discipline when she's older until D.J. has to ground her for weeks and have the talk, that's fine. Instead of 'wait till your father gets home,' here it's 'wait till your sister gets home.' She's a loving caregiver, and Michelle will learn."
"You're right, guys." Danny held his head in his hands for a moment. "I just feel like I was totally lost. That time with the samples, I thought it was funny, but I knew it was wrong. I was just lost do; that's why I didn't pull her off the table right away. And, I didn't do anything to keep this from happening. I just acted like I wasn't even here."
"Well, Danny, what if it had been Pam doin' that to her?"
Danny told Jesse he wasn't sure. "I guess I wouldn't be so hard on myself."
"Well, maybe you shouldn't be, then. Maybe you just gotta admit you can't handle the really difficult things, like diving into sweets, and you need D.J. to work with you."
Stephanie had helped. As D.J. talked with Michelle, she sensed Michelle would feel better talking to D.J. privately. And, Danny calling D.J. "Pam" had seemed odd. So, she'd walked into Michelle's room, and listened.
They talked for a while, and Danny told her, "I think I have let your sister replace Mom in my mind. There was something, maybe how D.J. set limits, maybe something else, that just seemed like her, that the others couldn't do. Just like Michelle's smile and laugh always made me think of your mother, so I never wanted to see her sad," he admitted.
Stephanie hummed. "I guess sometimes it pays to be in the middle. You haven't expected me to replace Mom." Danny agreed.
D.J. worried it may have pinched an instant, but Michelle didn't recall it even pinching; she'd been too busy crying. So, D.J. decided she'd done okay, as it hadn't for long, if any. She'd said she loved D.J. – and knew D.J. loved her – even while D.J. was doing it. D.J. was glad; Michelle would be very good, but wasn't scared.
They hugged and exchanged "I love you"s once during the bath as they discussed that, and again after she got dressed. Michelle was grateful that D.J. "just hurt her feelings." Michelle would not want to come near that again, though.
D.J. and Michelle went back into her room, and as they talked, all were thankful Michelle realized D.J. had done it in love, like just Pam had suggested she might do with a Jesse-like kid. Danny just wished it had never come to that.
A couple other times she'd get somewhat out of control, as while she remembered the other reasons, she'd recall most that she "crawled on the table, wouldn't listen while eating all the cake, and got a spanking from D.J. for it." Even then, all D.J. had to do each time was to pull her aside and softly ask if she remembered when D.J. spanked her, and she'd blush and shape up quickly after a short talk, without the threat even being needed.
Only the quiet reminder that it had been for generally being out of control and so disobedient was needed after Michelle had been really wound up once when she was five, Danny thought it seemed like around the time Michelle ran away. Then, at Disneyworld, just being pulled aside by D.J. and talking about it for a couple minutes made Michelle behave a lot better fast; she recalled better by that time it was for her general total rebellion then. Those were the only times D.J. even had to bring it up.
The dream ended as Michelle, now six and a half again, was talking with D.J. at Disneyworld, saying, "Don't worry, D.J.; I know you gotta be a Mommy sometimes. Especially when I'm real bad, like when I wouldn't listen at all and you gave me one of them little spankings. But, you won't ever have to do that again!" And, he knew she'd start to behave really well and stay well behaved.
Danny awakened that morning, and fretted some about the dream. He thought he knew it was a dream – but sometimes it was hard to tell. "Deej, can we talk?" He asked about whether D.J. ever had given fwaps, and when she assured him she hadn't, he explained. "I knew it was a dream, but, well, I guess at times, I just realize how I have let things go."
"Dad, trust me; we talked about how I might have to once before the wedding shower if we ever had a repeat of the samples, but I've never had to actually do that. Around when she turned four, when I mentioned what "Queen D.J." might have to do, I think it just stuck, so she wouldn't test that limit." Danny agreed; she'd always been somewhat timid. "Plus, if I had, I'd have warned her quicker after she put that Gumby in the microwave, when Uncle Jesse got new recording equipment; she was still grounded from TV and playing outside till the day before she did that, so you took those privileges away again ." Danny recalled. "She might not have even played with it; seeing that Gumby smoke really scared her. And, I surely would have kept better control at Disneyworld."
Danny agreed that that was probably true. "She's always known you would do what you said. She had to; otherwise she never would have been as good as she was at two and three, while I wasn't punishing," he remarked, remembering what Dr. Landress had told him. "I'm glad you've never had to."
"Dad, Michelle is starting to behave very well. It's like my counselor and Dr. Landress have said; everyone's helping me because you have problems. That means Michelle tested me more, after you started punishing, because of that firm boundary. But, now we're back to you being in charge of her. I'm sure she'll keep being good. She really is growing up."
Danny started to figure that for a while, too. Michelle did her chores right away all the time without complaining – yes, one time she'd let Nicky and Alex do things for her, but she hadn't ordered them to, she'd just let them, was sorry right away, and never repeated that. She accepted right away when Danny said to take a rabbit back to camp; again with no complaints. And, she would have if the rabbit hadn't chewed a hole and escaped.
As he and Dr. Landress talked at Michelle's next checkup, she talked excitedly about Vicki, school, and everything. Dr. Landress agreed; she didn't love school like Stephanie or D.J. did, because of the huge Jesse influence, but she still liked it. Her sisters worked with her enough that her desire to play instead didn't cause her to fall behind.
Michelle added that she could now pick her own clothes, instead of Danny choosing 2-3 outfits for her to try on and letting her choose between those, like she'd done with her preschool outfit and later - that was choosing to a child of three, but not seven. Soon, she started talking about Disneyworld. He let Michelle continue, since she wasn't overly embarrassed. "D.J. wants to help me be good," Michelle said contritely at the end. She blushed slightly, but wasn't really uncomfortable, as she and Danny told about what happened, and what D.J. threatened, before Michelle started to be good.
"So, after that, your Dad started to be the one to discipline you again?"
"She kept an eye on me for a while," Michelle admitted lowly. "D.J. just said she'd do that 'cause she loves me. And, she doesn't want me to be a rebel like our Uncle Jesse. Now I obey Daddy real well. I'd rather obey him than D.J.."
"It sounds like you behave very well now," the doctor said. They talked more, then he motioned Danny to the side of the room, signaling to talk so Michelle couldn't hear as she got dressed and started to read a book. "Mr. Tanner, you have a very good girl."
"Thanks," Danny said, bragging too fast. "She's always been so nice; she takes after me. Uh, what she was saying just now, after we told about her improvement…?"
The doctor tried to consider how to approach this, and decided the best thing was to note the positive things. "Mr. Tanner, I've been impressed; Michelle has always met every milestone, and exceeded some, like how she could count to 100 before Kindergarten." Danny beamed. "She has always been in good health. You can take credit for all of that. But…" He sighed, not wanting to paint too negative a picture, but wanting to emphasize what had happened because Danny had ignored so much. "She sees you as a major authority figure. She'll obey you well. But…it appears the ultimate authority to her is D.J.. And, I doubt that's going to change much. She's learned to always obey the rules, but that consistency wasn't there for her to learn to count on you to always teach her."
Danny panicked for a second, worrying about what pressure that might put on D.J.. "I don't understand. What if D.J. goes away to college? I mean…"
"Mr. Tanner, Michelle wants to obey you. She'd rather listen to you. She knows you won't like it if she doesn't. But, while you could have recovered earlier, she obeys you like a child obeys an uncle. A beloved one," he emphasized, "who always tries to help. If you had an adult you idolized and copied, other than a parent, it would be like that." He agreed. It sounded like Jesse and Joey with all the girls. "She will obey you. But, if there is any question, if she feels you're slacking off, she'll defer to D.J.. If you waver, she won't take advantage, but only because D.J. will be upset."
Danny was crestfallen; he couldn't believe it. Michelle was behaving very well now, and had been for months. He wanted to be able to take credit, and the worst part was that he couldn't. "Like another dinosaur incident?" he asked, trying to see what the doctor meant
"Yes." He hated to be the bearer of bad news. But, so much ignoring things, and that promise, didn't leave much room, after he'd refused to see her as anything but a baby till almost four. Still, by now, it wasn't as big of a problem. Michelle obeyed very well now. This was just telling a patient how things were, and helping them cope. "Without that promise, you might have recovered. But, don't take it as a putdown. You've struggled dealing with Pam's death. But, you are a very good father, and very good toward Michelle. You've taken great care of her other needs, and of your older daughters. Jesse and Joey weren't capable of disciplining consistently so they couldn't be the ultimate authority to her. If D.J. didn't treat Michelle right, you'd have protected her by taking charge. Thankfully, you didn't have to."
Danny brightened. "Oh, certainly. If D.J. goes away to college, though, that main authority won't be there. Will she listen to me, or…?"
"D.J. has her eyes on Stanford, right?" She did. "She can come home weekends, even just on holidays, and she'll do wonderfully; you have almost two years. Michelle improved a lot these past months. She may not make good choices at times, because you haven't taught her to; talk now about choices she might have," Dr. Landress advised.
"You don't think she'll become another Jesse, do you? That's what D.J. fears."
"No. There may be arrogance from his influence and your omission. She may not respect you quite as much as she does D.J.; she may sass D.J. some, but that will be like a normal child testing her mother. She might give a few more dirty looks, for instance." Even that was never an issue to Danny; and, it wouldn't be. "Michelle will try to please you; she loves you and feels you are always good to her. You're not like that parent I told you about who took no time with the kids and slept around so much, that child had zero respect; she went to live with a sister as a preteen, and turned out well." Danny recalled the story from earlier. "But, Michelle will be different. You're dedicated to your girls, and D.J. enforced that what you said was right. That entrenched it to her. You, in turn, said D.J. was making good rules. She knows you'll do what it takes." To soften the blow, he added, "Michelle's mature enough to have pity on you, which helps a lot."
"She does. We talked a lot during spring cleaning." Danny still felt lost. "So…what else do I do to help?"
"Help her make good choices, and let her live with the consequences if it isn't too bad, while she's young enough that her choices don't matter as much. And, I mean even when it seems awkward. Because, truthfully, I think you're still a little lost without your wife." Danny got choked up; he didn't want to say it, but he was.
A few months went by. Danny struggled with his breakup with Vicki, after she took a job anchoring news in New York, but Michelle never tested limits while he was going crazy reorganizing things for a few weeks. As Dr. Landress had said, she turned to D.J. for guidance so she wouldn't get in trouble. Danny also decided, after the older girls couldn't agree on what to pick from a catalogue as a free gift, that this was the perfect time to follow the doctor's advice and let Michelle pick one. He knew it seemed weird to get a cardboard cutout only, so he got a new video camera, which he pulled out after letting the older sisters see what Michelle had picked; the owner had been grateful that the older girls found his bird, and had promised a real reward, so he figured Danny would want something else. Then, they had a long talk about how her choice, while well intentioned – fun memories without fighting – wasn't very sensible. She'd just taken the first thing she saw, instead of thinking, a Jesse-like quality which would go away over the next couple years, as she matured.
He'd been busy poring over things for his show while in the doctor's office with D.J. waiting for her checkup. He also felt sentimental – next year, D.J. would be 18 and no longer going to a pediatrician. So, he'd left some of his paperwork in the waiting room.
Stephanie opened the door and greeted Dr. Landress as he came to drop off the notes. "Come on in," she invited him. He did. "Dad's upstairs; it's a bit hectic around here because our great-grandpa passed away, I'm sure you heard." He had heard about that, and about them trying to be too strong for Jesse; he was glad that was cleared up. "Anyway, Uncle Jesse flew back to Greece, so with Nicky and Alex to help take care of, plus the show, it's pretty wild. But, papers aren't the weirdest thing left in your waiting room; I remember once at one of my checkups, there was a tie in one of the chairs when we came in, and it was still there when we left. Remember that, Dad?" Stephanie asked as Danny came downstairs.
"I sure do. Thanks for bringing those back, Doc. Care to stay for supper?"
As Danny said this, D.J. and her strange best friend, Kimmy Gibbler, came in from the kitchen. "Look, Deej; a doctor in someone's house. Better call the newspaper," she joked.
"I just came to drop off some papers," Dr. Landress said.
Kimmy took the papers and looked at them. "What are they; lab results? How high of a nerd cell count does he have?"
Stephanie looked tiredly at the doctor. "And that's how she is when she's acting normal."
The doctor said one of his partners had Kimmy as a patient, as Danny took the papers and Kimmy left. Once Kimmy was gone, Danny said, "It's a good thing, huh? You've got your hands full enough with us, without having her annoying you."
Michelle came down from having helped to change Nicky and Alex, as the doctor said, "Well, your family has been through a lot. But, all things considered, I actually consider you to be one of the best fathers I have."
"Really?"
"Oh, of course. You do a very good job of teaching right from wrong, you're very loving and involved with your girls. And, even where you had problems, never forget - even if you didn't enforce limits, in a way, you have been the one to turn Michelle into a fine young girl. Because, you raised the girls who did teach her right from wrong, and how to obey the rules."
Danny thanked him, and after he left, Michelle ran up to him and hugged him; she could tell he was feeling down about something. "Thanks, honey. I guess I didn't totally fail your mom, did I?" She said he hadn't.
"No, Dad; you're always there for us," Stephanie reminded him. "You always have good advice. Now that I'm trying to help Gia shape up," she added, referring to a troubled teen in her class, "I can depend on you for guidance; as long as you don't try too hard. It's really great to know that."
"Mom always wanted to be the best. She knew you weren't perfect. But, she loved you because you're a wonderful, caring person. Who knows, maybe she even guessed that you'd have some struggles," D.J. suggested. "But, you've got a great family that cares about you. And, we're going to get through this no matter what."
Grinning broadly, he said "thanks" and added, "You girls are all just like your mother," as they shared a group hug.
