I don't remember if this one was ever posted on the other account... But it was in my documents, completed and ready for publishing. So, if it never made it onto D'nLA, it's made it to here. Cha-ching. Enjoy.

Disclaimer: I don't own, you don't sue.


"There's no way in hell that I'm going to get into that thing, Zack!"

"Yes, you will. You will get in it if I have to ruin Sephy's present and have him come down and force you in, then leave and wait to unwrap it!"

Cloud scowled at his so-called best friend, arms crossing as he glared at the 'thing' mentioned. Now, Cloud didn't mind if he got stuck into a dress for a few hours, if it got a smile from the General, whom he had a major crush on. Besides, Zack dressed him up quite a lot for the silver haired male. Sometimes Sephiroth would even convince him to dress up like such for Zack.

It wasn't like he enjoyed becoming a cross-dresser... He just couldn't resist his best friend, and his crush... So, he was easily moved by the two. This, however, was going too far. Zack wanted to put him in a maids outfit then into a life-sized box, which also had various outfits folded into it's free space. In other words, he planned on delivering a real, live, Cloud-doll to Sephiroth for Christmas...Cloud wasn't happy about the idea, at all. He wasn't nearly as strong as Zack was, but he made up for it with his speed.

So this was how Christmas morning had been going so far: Zack had dressed Cloud up in the maid suit, claiming it was for Sephiroth. That had gone along easily enough with no complaints from either. Then Zack announced part two of the plan, the life-sized doll box that Reno had helped get in, by putting it on a cart to wheel it around.

Since that point in time, things had been flying through the apartment as Cloud avoided both Zack and Reno, helping set them off by flinging things in their general direction(s).

"Zack, what makes you think Sephiroth is going to enjoy dressing me up in that stuff?"

"Rufus liked it when I gave him a Reno dolly!"

"JUST BECAUSE RUFUS LIKED IT DOESN'T MEAN SEPHIROTH WILL LIKE IT!"

"Doesn't mean I'll like what?"

All action froze in the living room of Cloud and Zack's shared suite that had been assigned to them by ShinRa. Being the General's right hand man was good for something, at least; that was what Zack had thought when he convinced Rufus to give him his own personal rooms. The VP had talked to Sephiroth, who had approved of it as long as the suite was shared by both Zack and Cloud. Of course, the General had his own key card for the place, since both of them had one to his personal suites. Reno somehow had a key card as well, though no one had been expecting him to.

Sneaky Turks and their sneaky ways...

"Zackary....Why is Cloud dressed up in a maid outfit?"

"Sephy! You can't be here! Shoo, go!" Zack made a frantic attempt to push his other best friend out the door, whining when Sephiroth didn't move a muscle and simply raised a eyebrow at his Second. "Seriously! You'll ruin the present!"

With a long drawn-out sigh, the General turned to go, only to have Cloud fling himself in between him and the door. Once again, he paused and raised a eyebrow; this time at the blond.

"Don't leave me with them, Seph! They're insane! Insane I tell you!" The whole thing came off rather cute to the silver-haired angel. Though, he shook his head with a small shrug.

"I'm afraid I can't help you here, Strife. Zack seems to need you..."

"But--"

"Damn straight, I need him! Now get out, you're delaying your present!" With that, Zack dragged Cloud out of the way, pushing the General towards the door.

"Very well, I'm going... Though I don't know why you insist on this present thing." And with that he—and Cloud's only hope—was gone. Heading back up to his suite, probably to wait for this wonderful 'present' Zack had planned for him.

"Wait—no--"

"Too late, Spikey. Now, just cooperate with us and get in the doll box so we can wrap it up and get it up to his Royal Hottness." Reno said, snickering as Zack wrestled Cloud into submitting to the present plot.

"I'm going to regret this...."

"No, you won't. I'm sure you'll get more enjoyment from it then anyone else... 'cept Seph. Look, just get in the box and stand there with your cutest look possible; we'll do the rest."

Sighing, the blond nodded. Then, he stopped suddenly when upon noticing something odd about the items beside him in the box.

"Zack....Why are there handcuffs? And rope....and...ZACK!"

"See ya in a little bit, Cloudy-boy!" With that, the 'box' was closed and Cloud was left to glare out of the plastic 'window' at Zack and Reno, who were grinning triumphantly.

'Damn Zack....'

Outside of the life-size box, Reno and Zack were working out the wrapping situation they had. Reno had at least been smart enough to put the bottom paper underneath the box before it was put on the cart, so they just had to worry about wrapping the top part. It took about ten minutes, several rolls of wrapping paper, and a bunch of tape, but they got it done. Now, they had slid a large ribbon under the 'present' and brought it up over the top, then did it again going the other way before placing a huge bow on top.

"Great, he's all wrapped up. Now we just have to get him into Seph's place, without roughing poor Spike up in there too much." Reno smirked as he spoke. He began to push the cart, present and all, out the door while Zack helped keep it balanced. "I wonder how Seph will like his new toy."

A snicker fell from Zack's lips, causing him to look down as they entered the elevator and rode it up to the General's suite. Sephiroth was sitting on his black leather couch, right ankle resting casually on his left knee as he sipped a cup of freshly brewed coffee. His attention shifted towards the huge gift as Zack and Reno wheeled it into the room. He then looked behind, brow furrowing slightly.

"...Zack? Where's Cloud?"

"You'll see. Open your present!"

Warily, the General stood and walked over to where Reno and Zack were standing proudly beside his 'gift'. He was half afraid of what was in such a big box. This was Reno and Zack we're talking about, it couldn't be something safe...Or so he thought. Hesitantly, he removed the wrapping and blinked at Cloud before opening the box to let the now-crimson blond out. He raised a curious eyebrow before looking at the other contents. A pair of handcuffs... some rope... various outfits and other... toys... plus a bottle of lube?

"What is this, Zackary?" The silver-haired angel asked, barely stopping the smirk that was currently tugging at his lips. Maybe he was wrong this one time...Spotting the blond looking around the room, most likely for a hiding place, Sephiroth reached an arm out and wrapped it firmly around his waist; pulling him closer and relishing at the surprised squeak it earned him.

"I thought it was rather obvious! Your very own Cloudy-boy to play and have your way with!"

Hm...The General hadn't thought it possible for Cloud to get any redder but, once again he had been proved wrong. Although he had to admit, the blond was adorable in that maid outfit... It would be a such a shame when he ripped it off the blond later that night.

"Z-zack...I never agreed to this." The young blond muttered, staring intently at the floor.

"Ah, so you do have a voice, cadet. Good to know." Sephiroth cut off Zack's response before he even opened his mouth. This not only annoyed his second but also surprised the cadet, who immediately fell silent again, the blush he had managed to fight down coming back full force. "Now, if you two nimrods don't mind... Get out."

Immediately, Zack and Reno exchanged grins with each other before darting out the door, Zack pausing only a second so he could close it behind them before running off after Reno.