Nice Guys

summary—Nice guys finish last, that's why I'll treat you like trash. NaruSaku.

disclaimer—The song 'Nice Guys' by Ryan Higa, Kevin Wu and Chester See is not mine. Naruto too.

second version; self-edited.

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notes—ho ho! Look kids, a real disclaimer! Now, before I start, know that this is not a songfic, just a heads up. The fic is inspired by a song which is different. Just wanted to make that clear for y'all :3

Enjoy!


"He's such a douche."

"Yeah, I don't get why Sakura-chan even goes out with him."

Naruto sipped his Arizona. His eyes narrowed at the couple not ten feet away. Sakura, his best friend since that one day in kindergarten when they all sat at the same table that was their favorite color, was sitting in some guy's lap.

Tch, Sasuke.

Currently the most 'popular' guy in Konoha High School, number 2 student, and all around asshole. He swore with his Hollister V-neck sweaters and skinny jeans, like he was one of those guys on the bags they give you when you're finished buying hundred-dollar shit from Abercrombie. Girls everywhere that never even paid attention to him in middle school suddenly fell to his feet in freshman year, when his dad finally took over that company and he got contacts and hair gel. Even his acne cleared up.

Sure, Naruto was popular too, but that Sasuke-dick just came in so suddenly it totally interrupted his mojo. Naruto, who'd been on top for years because of sports, was toppled from his throne in just the first week of school.

The first fucking week.

Tuesday, they came in, all new clothes, haircuts, boobs and braces, and the food chain was already established; populars sat at the tables right next to the wall of windows, popular-by-associations sat behind them, divas were next to the statue of Hashirama Senju (the school's founder), nerds and regular kids took up most of the middle, goths sat near the doors, and music-and-arts people were outside. So there he was; at his rightful place at the end of the table, when (fucking) Inuzuka recognized Sasuke from baseball and invited him over.

"Yo dude, Sasuke's cool. You should see his fastball, I almost pissed my pants the first time!" he said.

At first the blonde was nice and cheery, like he was with everyone, but Sasuke didn't even smile or wave or anything back. He just disregarded it as him being shy or something, but it just kept going. However, it wasn't until Sasuke started talking to Sakura that Naruto really started to hate him.

Sakura was the perfect friend, and not just to Naruto. She was nice and pretty and smart and always let you copy her Algebra II homework when Kurenai-sensei was feeling bloated and assigned the whole page of the book. Sakura wasn't always popular like Naruto was, more of a popular-by-association. It didn't really make sense to him, since she was so nice and pretty and smart. Even on a bad day Sakura was still nicer and prettier than all the other popular girls, who wore tons of makeup and bitched about every little thing.

There were tons of things that made her so pretty. Sakura's hair was long and petal-pink, all natural of course, and super soft every time Naruto had touched it. Her eyes were the nicest green the blonde had ever seen, surrounded by her thick blonde lashes and just the tiniest bit of golden eyeshadow.

Oh God, he was sounding sappy. It was hard not to, cause maybe Naruto had the littleittibittiestnotevenvis iblewithamicroscope crush on her. Maybe. He was gonna ask her out, but then Sasuke-teme swooped in the same way a hawk snatches up a rabbit for its meal.

Now there she was, laughing at whatever stupid joke he'd made while she sat in his lap. His fucking lap. How dare that dickwad make her smile! He didn't deserve Sakura's undivided attention.

However, a tiny glimmer of hope fluttered inside Naruto as he watched the two walk back into the school, and Sasuke didn't bother to open the door for Sakura.


"BRO." Chouji said to Naruto a week later. "BRO. GUESS."

Naruto quickly snatched his glasses from his head. He didn't like wearing them in public, but his contact ripped this morning and the only spare he could find was a year too old. The thick cokebottle specs were actually a relief to his eyes, since the contacts suffocated them with the stupidly high prescription.

"What?"

"GUESS."

"I don't know dude." Naruto said. He closed up his Algebra II book, leaving the homework in between the pages where he wouldn't lose it.

"I heard Sakura just broke up with Uchiha!" The brown haired boy chugged down his water bottle. Chouji ran a hand through his hair. "Damn, I need a haircut."

"Waitwaitwait. Sakura broke up with Sasuke?" Naruto couldn't believe it. They seemed so happy the last time he saw them, or at least they looked pretty happy in the middle of their make-out sesh. Their PDA was so gross, and Sakura had started being late to classes because of it, which Sakura never did.

"Yeah, man!"

"Sakura...broke up with...Sasuke?"

"Uh-huh."

"With...Sasuke?"

"Yes idiot! That's not the point though, the point is that now Sakura's on the market, you can snatch her up!"

"Whaddya mean snatch her up? I don't like her."

"Uh, yeah you do. It's not really a secret."

Naruto blanched. People actually knew? No. Way. Did Sakura know? Holy shit, did Sasuke know?

"I'm just kidding!" Chouji punched Naruto in the arm. He laughed a deep belly laugh when the blonde rubbed at the spot he'd hit. Chouji Akimichi was the best player on the Konoha High football team, at six-two and nearly two hundred pounds of unadulterated muscle. "Don't worry, only me, Sai, Gaara and maybe Kiba know."

The Uzumaki sighed in relief. Oh God, if Sasuke knew he'd be totally screwed every time he'd try and put the moves on Sakura.

"Anyways, go ask her out, she's over there with the drama kids."

Tucking his 4.50 prescription glasses in the pocket of his Nike shorts, Naruto carefully wobbled over to the large blue tables outside the cafeteria. Many of the girls wore leggings and legwarmers and scarves, even though it was May. Their cardigans were embroidered with the KHS crest, DRAMA stitched below it.

"Uh, h-hey Sakura-chan." Naruto leaned on the table next to the pinkette, smiling brightly.

"Oh, hi Naruto." Sakura tucked a lock of hair behind her ears. She smoothed her short, low-cut, green flowered dress and rolled up the sleeves of her white Hollister cardigan. Funny, she didn't own something like that before dating Sasuke. "Can I help you?"

"Y-yeah. Listen Sakura-chan, would you...go out with me?" stuttered the basketball player. He blinked several times, trying to focus on the girl before him.

Sakura's green eyes fluttered. "Oh...Naruto, I'm really sorry, but..." she bit her lip and retucked her hair. "I just went through a breakup, and...I can't right now. I'm really sorry."

"Huh? Oh, hey that's-that's totally fine. I-I get it, and uh, I'll see you around...okay?" laughed Naruto nervously. He started to walk away, waving at Sakura and her friends.

"Rejection sucks." he heard someone say behind him at the popular table. Surprised, Naruto turned around, coming face to face with Kiba Inuzuka.

"What?" he said.

"Well," replied the brunette. "I heard you asked out Haruno, and she said no. Seemed kinda weird to me."

Naruto shrugged. "So?"

"Lemme help you."

"Do what?"

"Lemme help you get girls."


"First rule," Kiba had led Naruto back to his house, pulling out a whiteboard and some Expo markers. He wrote down several bullets of instructions accompanied by stick figures. "is that all girls like a bad boy. You may be cool, Naruto, but you're still too much of a nice guy."

Kneeling behind Kiba's living room coffee table, Naruto nodded his head, scribbling something on a piece of paper.

"And now, the first step to enforcing that rule is the look. The buttons on your shirts are suggestions, dude, remember, so there's no need to use 'em all, or even half. Also, skinny jeans are meant to be worn low, 'cause we all need the room around here." Kiba gestured to his crotch.

"Uh-huh. So, buttoned-up shirts are optional?"

"Yes."

"And saggy jeans are...okay?"

"Good, my pupil! Accessories are acceptable as well. Scarves, bracelets and necklaces are prime examples, and sunglasses are always a must."


The next day, Naruto walked around school feeling ridiculous. He'd done what Kiba told him; sagged his jeans, practically unbuttoned his shirt all the way, sunglasses, an a big orange scarf. Good thing it was May, or else the blonde would be freezing his ass off.

"This is stupid." he mumbled as he opened his locker before lunch. Shoving in his books, he swung the door closed, discovering Sakura behind it.

"Hi Naruto!" she chirped, smiling happily. She had teased her bangs, pulling them back into a small bump on her head that went into a ponytail, and thicker lines of eyeliner on than usual. Even her lipgloss was different; a darker red instead of her usual pale pink.

"You look different." Sakura's jeans looked a little smaller than her size 3's (Naruto knew 'cause he went shopping with her. Once. She asked him to.) considering their tightness, and her shirt was a low V-neck that Naruto never remembered seeing before.

"Huh? Oh, I just felt like trying something new today. Besides, I'm not the only one who's changed."

The Uzumaki laughed. "Whatever. Walk with me to lunch, would ya?"

Normally, Naruto would pull out Sakura's chair for her, or open the doors to the cafeteria, but he remembered Kiba's second step.

"Bad boys don't act all polite for girls. They like to feel independent, so don't do shit for them."

Instead, he strode right past her, opening the door and leaving her behind. He walked into the caf like he owned it, sitting at the designated popular table with a swagger. A few seconds later Sakura followed, sitting in a chair across from the blonde.

"You wanna know what happened to me this weekend?" she asked, excitedly. "Ino-pig and I went to a fun. concert, and we got seats in the front row, and Nate—"

"Act like you don't care what they're talking about; it makes 'em try harder to get your attention."

Naruto peered at Sakura over his Vans sunglasses. "Sakura, Sakura, Sakura. I'm sure the concert was really great, but...not right now." he told her, putting his finger to her red-glossed mouth.

The pinkette looked at the Uzumaki with wide eyes. Naruto never did things like this! He would always listen intently, never interrupting her during one of her (long-winded) stories. If Sakura asked him a question or for his opinion, he'd answer polietly and let her continue talking. The very idea he would just cut her off like that was foreign.

"Don't tell them they look good or nice. Get their self-esteem down so they don't go looking for another guy."

"Ugh!" Sakura's lip curled at the sight of her lunch. A blah peice of chicken accompanied by limp salad and warm milk took up most of the tray, but a colorful yellow Twinkie in the smallest dish gave Sakura hope. "I can't eat any of this. Oh well, it's not like I need to get any fatter." The girl picked up the Twinkie, it's wrapper crinkling as she removed it. "At least I got this."

Something inside Naruto convinced him he was doing the right thing by saying what he was about to say. According to Kiba, if he did, Sakura would be his forever and ever.

"Uh, maybe you should lay down that Twinkie. You...don't need that right now."

That very same something inside Naruto felt like he'd just been punched in the nuts. Twice.

Sakura's eyes sparked. Her mouth pressed into a thin line, and she gripped the Twinkie so hard the filling started to seep out.

"What."

Naruto's stomach dropped. He knew, from many years of experience, that making Sakura angry was not a good idea in the least. From what he'd witnessed, that girl could throw a serious punch. Once, in fifth grade, Toshiru Sugiyama called her a crayon and she totally whaled on him, jumping on the kid and getting in some good punches before the vice principal pulled her off of him.

Against his better judgment, Naruto replied. "I-I was just saying that m-maybe you don't n-need that Twinkie r-right now."

The blonde swore he could see steam erupt from his friend's ears. Sakura's face turned very pink, before she smiled deviously and smashed the Twinkie into the table.

"I'll see you later, Naruto." she said, walking away and dumping her food into the trash.


The rest of the day, Sakura was pissed at Naruto. She refused to look at or talk to the blonde. The worst was in Algebra II, because he desperately needed her help on the homework that he didn't get at all. For a second he thought about asking Ino, but the blonde haired, blue eyed girl kind of scared him with her abrasiveness.

Instead, Naruto opted for writing whatever answers Kurenai-sensei put on the board as well as occasionally glancing at Sasuke's paper, since he sat next to her. He would've asked Shikamaru, if he wasn't too lazy to even do the work.

Right in the middle of question 56 in section 12.4, Sasuke turned to glare at Naruto.

"What the hell are you doing?!" he hissed.

The blonde played dumb. "I'm not doing anything, Teme. Now stop looking at my paper!"

"Hey," he then added. "Do you know why Sakura-chan's mad at me?"

The Uchiha shrugged. "It doesn't matter to me."

Naruto rolled his eyes at him. He turned around, facing Ino, who was concentrating on her graph. "Hey Ino, why won't Sakura-chan talk to me?"

"Because you said she was fat."

"No I didn't!"

"Yes, you did, jackass."

Right then, Naruto felt bad. He knew what he'd said, and now he felt like a total asshole. In his attempt to be a bad boy, all Naruto had done was make Sakura angry at him. That wasn't what he wanted at all, and it was up to him to make it better, since he'd messed it up in the first place.

Luckily, the bell rang for dismissal. Students began to put their things away, chatting about after school plans and the mountains of work they'd been handed. Naruto, however, didn't procrastinate. Within seconds, he'd stuffed his books and papers into his orange Nike backpack, and threw his assignment on the teacher's desk before heading out the door.

So distracted by his plans on apologizing, Naruto almost missed his bus. He ran alongside the large vehicle, banging on the side for it to stop. Out of breath, the blonde plodded up the steps, taking his reserved seat in the back row, left side.

Sai was drawing when he got there. Naruto usually didn't see him during the day, since their schedules were different, but the aspiring artist was okay in Naruto's book. He was pretty quiet, which was fine because Naruto almost always did all of the talking anyway.

"What's wrong with you, Dickless?" Sai asked.

The part about him wasn't okay in Naruto's book.

"Hmph. Sakura-chan's mad at me." grumbled the blonde, his backpack thunking on the ground. "I...I was kind of a jerk to her today."

"Oh?" the black haired teen set his sketchbook down on his lap and turned to face Naruto. "What did you do?"

"I totally cut her off when she was talking about something important, and called her fat indirectly. She sort of demolished a Twinkie in front of me, which was actually pretty scary." admitted the blonde. He looked down at his hands, embarassed.

"You need to apologize."

"I know! But how?"

Sai tapped his chin with his pencil thoughtfully. Around groups of people he was kind of akward, but one on one time with him was usually more enjoyable. It was easier for him to read people that way.

"Be nice about it." he said finally, before adding, "Let me show you something." He pulled his iPhone out of his bag, going to YouTube and typing something in the search engine.

On the screen was a video of some random Asians singing a song about being nice, and, Naruto realized, using the same strategy of turning into a bad boy for their girls. They too got mad at them, and one of them apologized with flowers while the other had a guitar. Seeing the girlfriends forgive the guys singing, Naruto decided he should do the same thing they did, only better.

The bus pulled up at his stop, and the blonde practically flew off. He ran down the sidewalk all the way to his house, where his mom and little sister were eating some chips.

"Mom!" Naruto yelled as he threw his bag—oh, crap. His backpack was still on the bus!

"NOOOOOOO!" Naruto crumpled to the floor, making obnoxious facial expressions at his misfortune. "MY BAAAAAG!"

Kushina furrowed her eyebrows. "What happened, Naruto-chan?"

"I LEFT MY BAG ON THE BUS."

"Oh no! Your homework!"

"MY PHOOOOONNNNEEEE."

Suddenly, the younger Uzumaki sprung up from the linoluem of his kitchen, his eyes twinkling. "Mom! Are there any flowers in the backyard?"

"Yes, but why do need—"

"Thanks!"


ding dong.

Sakura opened the door, and saw a very bashful looking Naruto standing in front of her.

"Hey, Sakura-chan." he said, and held out a bouquet of pink and yellow flowers that looked like he'd pulled them from his mother's garden in his right hand. In his left, was a large colorful card.

"What do you want, Naruto?" said Sakura, crossing her arms in front of her chest indignantly. She was still mad at him from lunchtime.

"I'm sorry, Sakura. I really am. I was a jerk and and a dick and I shouldn't have said that to you."

The pinkette sighed. She couldn't stay mad at her best friend for long, especially when he was being this cute. Naruto'd even brought out the puppy eyes.

Sakura took the flowers, breathing in their sweet scent. "Why did you do that, anyways? It's not like you."

"I...I really like you, Sakura-chan. Like, a lot. And I've liked you since kindergarten, since that one day we all sat at the same table that was our favorite color. I didn't know what to say, and I wanted to ask you out this year, but then stupid Sasuke beat me to the punch. When you said yes, it made feel like crap.

"Besides, he didn't even treat you like a princess the way he should. When you guys broke up, I thought that you'd go out with me if I acted the same way, since you said no the first time. But, I'm really, really sorry about that. I've been a shitty friend."

When he finished his little speech, Naruto bit his lip nervously and rubbed his head; something he always did out of nerves. Sakura noticed how his shirt was now actually buttoned, his scarf had been removed, the sunglasses were in his pocket and his pants didn't sag below his knees anymore.

Smiling out of the corner of her mouth, Sakura replied, "I forgive you Naruto. I guess maybe I deserved it. Ever since I started to date Sasuke, I've been doing things I never would have thougth of doing. Like ignoring you, and putting on way more makeup than usual or dressing differently, because I thought that since that's what Sasuke liked, other boys would like it too. Do you forgive me too?"

Naruto's eyes lit up. He pulled the pinkette into a tight hug, his chin resting on her head due to the noticeable height difference.

"I was never mad at you, Sakura-chan. Hey," the blonde said, pulling away. "Open the card, won'tcha?" he gestured to the card in Sakura's hand, covered with blue and yellow and pink polka dots. The words 'I'm sorry' were printed in a swirly cursive in the center, and when Sakura opened it, a song sprung out at her.

"If I was a flower growin' wild and free, all I'd want is for you to be my sweet honeybee..."

It took the pinkette a second to realize that Naruto was the one singing. It was one of those cards that had you record a personal message for whoever recieved it. She smiled hugely, and hugged the blonde.

"Thank you! This is too nice, I wholeheartedly forgive you, again."


That Friday, Naruto and Sakura sat very closely together at one of the outdoor tables, shaded by a large tree. He'd brought a bento stuffed with california rolls, mochi balls and instant ramen.

The Uzumaki slurped up some of the instant spicy shrimp ramen happily. The cup was empty in what appeared to be milliseconds.

"Keep eating like that, and you're gonna get a stomachache." chided Sakura, pulling the bento away from her new boyfriend. "Have a california roll. Mmmmm, vegetables." she picked up one with her chopsticks, popping it into her mouth.

Naruto wrinkled his nose at it. "The only reason I even brought those things was for you, 'cause I wanted this ramen to myself!" he laughed, reaching for another cup, only to have his hand slapped away.

"Y'know, I'm starting to think that you didn't come up with that little 'plan' you had earlier this week all by yourself. Who helped you?" Sakura asked.

Internally, Naruto debated wether or not he should reveal that information, for fear of his friend's safety.

. . .

Buth then again, it was Kiba's fault that Sakura even got mad at Naruto in the first place.

"It...it was Kiba." the blonde mumbled, chewing the inside of his mouth.

Sakura cracked her knuckles, once again smiling deviously.

"Maybe it's time we thank him."


notes—THIS IS SO LONG. If you wanna see the actual video this is inspired from, fo to YouTube and type in Nice Guys, it's the one 40 million views ^-^ Omg as much as I love SasuSaku, I have a soft spot or NaruSaku and SaiSaku, cause I just think they are so cute! Um! I really hope you liked this, since I worked so hard on it, and please review! Hugs!