Title: Hello
Pairings/Characters: Jack/Ianto, Captain Jack Harkness, Ianto Jones
Warnings: Tissue Warning? I Cried Writing It lol I'm A Sap Character Death
Summary: Inspired by the song 'Hello' By Evanescence. Jack needs to deal with what's happened. (Jack's POV)
Author Notes: I Don't think I'm going to do this justice and it is REALLY hard to write. I hope it comes out as well as it did in my head.
Disclaimer: I Don't Own Them.
The cog door rolled shut but I ignored it, too busy in my own thoughts.
"Jack?"
I looked up and smiled through my tears at the Welshman, my Welshman.
"You've got to move on from this."
"It never happened."
"Yes it did and you need to work through it, for me."
"It never happened." I insisted.
"Jack, look in my eyes."
I looked up at him and into his beautiful blue pools. I wiped my eyes and sniffled.
"It's been a week, just think back to it."
"I don't want to."
"Just do it." He said sternly.
I sighed and thought back to that day. There wasn't a moment of it that I'd forget.
Ianto always told me he loved waking to a kiss so that's what I gave him. I smiled when he started kissing back.
"Good morning." I murmured into his lips.
"Mmm morning." He pulled back gently, "What time is it?"
"Seven. Listen, I wanted to say sorry. I haven't spent much time with you lately, just you and me."
"It's okay Jack. The rift's been a little bit crazy lately."
"Still, I was thinking next week, you, me and a table for two, maybe a movie?"
"Oh, you are so perfect." Ianto smirked, kissing me in that way that made me feel weak at the knees and I could only be thankful that I wasn't standing.
His lips were so soft, I could melt into his touch.
"Come on, we've got to go." He said, sitting up.
"That's just unfair. You can't tease me like this."
"Always leave them wanting more." He grinned.
"I love mornings with you and you always leave me wanting more." I smiled.
"No Jack, think further ahead in the day." Ianto sighed.
"Why are you even here?" I asked, trying to get away from the memories.
"I'm giving you someone to talk to and I'm helping you through this. Now, keep going, you need to get used to it."
"It never happened, it was just a nightmare."
"It did! Please, just keep going."
I let out a shakey breath and put my head in my hands."
"Coffee?"
"I love you so much." I smirked as Ianto put the cup down on my desk.
"Yeah, yeah."
"The rift's being good today. Maybe it's finished going crazy."
"No, no, no, no, no. Don't you jinx it Jack Harkness."
"You know, I've heard that kisses cancel out jinxes."
"Who'd you hear that from?"
"Just around."
"Well that doesn't sound like a reliable source."
"Still, if there's a chance it could work..."
Ianto leaned forward until our lips were just out of reach and whispered, "I think I can risk it."
He grinned and stepped away and towards the door.
"No, wait."
I walked over to the younger man and ran my hand down his arm, never looking away from his eyes. They were that blue you could try to describe for hours and never do them justice. they were so deep, so bright yet so dark at the same time.
"We haven't been alone together in so long."
"I've missed you." He mumbled, linking our hands together.
"Stay with me for a while?"
"Of course." He smiled.
I love that gorgeous smile and he always seemed to save it for me. I wanted to kiss him whenever I saw it.
"I don't want to think about this anymore."
"I'm so sorry but you need to get through this."
"Why? It isn't real, it was just a nightmare and what are you trying to do Ianto? Fix me? I'm not broken!"
I let my tears come out, giving up on hiding it.
"Ssh, Jack. Stop, please. I don't want to hurt you but it was real. I need you to accept it so that it'll stop you hurting. I hate to see you like this."
"If this is real then I'm not going to stop being like this, can't you see that?"
"Just keep going. Think about the good times we shared that day, please." He begged.
I lied down with Ianto in my arms in my bunk. It felt good to just spend time with him, to be with him.
"I can't wait to take you on that date." I murmured.
"I can't wait for you to take me on that date."
I chuckled and kissed his cheek. Nothing was quite like the feel of him in my arms. He fit so perfectly like he was born for it.
"I mean it everytime I say it, you know?"
"What?" He asked curiously.
"I love you Ianto."
"I know, I love you too. I remember the first time you said that Jack." ianto smirked.
"That was awkward."
"I don't think I'd ever heard you stammer before."
"I didn't think I'd be lucky enough to have you feeling the same."
"Because you're an idiot." Ianto chuckled, "We should get back up there."
"Do you want to go back to yours later?"
"Sounds like a plan."
Ianto went to get up and I gripped him a bit tighter. He looked over at me curiously and I grinned at him. I rubbed his cheek with the palm of my hand gently.
"We should really get back up there." He repeated.
I pulled him in for a long and deep kiss. He softened almost immediately and rested his hands on my hips. I rubbed my leg against his and he moaned into the kiss.
"Okay," He whispered between kisses, "Maybe a bit longer."
"Please don't make me do this." I begged.
"You'll thank me in the end."
"I just want to pretend it didn't happen."
"It will only get harder unless you deal with it now."
"I love you Ianto, you know that?"
"Of course I do, you've told me every day."
"I'm scared Yan."
"You'll be okay. I know this is the hardest part of this for you, to relive it but if you don't, you'll never move on. I don't want it to be like that for you."
"Jack?" Ianto called for him.
"Yeah?"
"What do you want for dinner?"
"Isn't that a bit domestic?" I laughed.
"Not really. I'm only going for chinese or pizza, your choice."
"You know me."
"Chinese it is. I'm going to go now. You better leave soon or it'll be cold."
"How did you know I wanted chinese?" I wiped my tears from my eyes.
"Like you said, I know you." Ianto smiled.
"This is the hardest part Yan. I can't think about this part."
"This is the most important part. You can do this Jack."
"No, I don't think I can."
"You can. You are Captain Jack Harkness, the most incredible man and you can do anything."
I was just about to leave the hub when my phone rang.
"Couldn't wait for me? I'll be there soon Yan."
"Jack, someone's getting robbed in this alley by the chinese place. I don't think I can stop them by myself."
"Don't do anything until I get there."
I flicked the phone shut and rushed to the SUV.
"Can we stop now?"
"No Jack, you're so close. Just a little bit more."
I rushed to the alley and my pulse raced when I saw that Ianto wasn't waiting. I should've known really, he's too damned stubborn. I ran down the alley and looked around, finding no one.
"Jack..." Ianto's husky voice murmured behind me.
My eyes widened when they connected with his blood soaked body.
"Ianto. No, no, no. I told you to wait." I mumbled and pulled him into my arms as I knelt to the floor.
"They were going to kill her. I couldn't wait anymore."
"Tell me this isn't your blood."
"Jack, did she get away?"
Tears stung at my eyes but I tried to stay strong for him.
"She got away and we can get you out of here, get you fixed up."
"No we can't, it's too late. It's okay Jack, really.
"I'm not ready to lose you. It's too soon, not like this."
I clung to him like a lifeline, determined to keep him close.
"I need you to be strong. I'm so sorry Jack."
"Stop apologising. You're not dead yet." I insisted, refusing to believe any of this was happening.
"It's too late. I love you, never forget that."
"I'll never love anyone like I love you Yan. Keep fighting, I'm not ready."
"I love you." Ianto's voice was barely audible.
I hugged him to me, sobbing when the light went out in his eyes.
"Ianto, stop this! I can't get over this, I love you."
"I know but this is the best thing for you."
"But if that's real then what is this? I don't know what to believe anymore!"
"I'm just your mind trying to cope. I'll be gone when you're ready and I need you to be ready."
So many emotions were going through me. I was scared of life without him, I'd come to rely on even the smallest of things. I was lonely, god, I can't remember the last time I felt so lonely. I felt useless. I had watched him die and I couldn't do anything to save him, nothing to stop it.
"I was going to take you on that date today." I rested my head in my hands on the desk.
"I'm so sorry. I know you want to be strong but let out the pain. I don't want you to feel this way anymore."
"I don't want to forget you."
"I'm not asking you to forget, just get through the grief so that you can remember all the amazing things we did together." He smiled.
That was the first night Ianto helped me through his death, even if it wasn't actually him. It felt real. I told him how I felt but I wish I could hold him again. God, I miss him.
I cried SO many times while I wrote this. Kept having to stop. I'm sorry guys but I thought it was good to have my own death fic. I didn't have any other team members in the fic so that it could be put in a distant future or sometime soon. Its up to the imagination. Please review. This is probably my most important fic.
Cheers,
Gabz
xx
