He's in a cab on the way back to her place and for once he can't fight back the thought that he's so fucking sick of this, and he can't argue with it. This one was just so damn easy, blonde, big rack, self esteem that could probably fit in a shot glass. She was straddling him, grinding against his erection and biting his neck softly when he said it. "Why did you come with me?"
"What?"
"Why did you come with me tonight?"
"Because you seemed like a nice enough guy, even if it's just for one night," she went back to scraping her fingernails down his chest and playing with his nipples,
"I'm not,"
She sighed disappointedly, "Not what?"
"A nice guy,"
"Dude, you're kind of ruining the mood. Do you want to hit this tonight or not?"
"I don't know,"
"You don't know? Let me convince you." She undid his fly quickly and reached a small hand into his boxers, finding his erection and pumping it a few times, Barney's eyes drifted shut a little and he moaned. "You want to hit this now?" he nodded mindlessly, licking his lips; he still couldn't shake that for once in his life he didn't want to be here.
"Stop it," he said, "I'm sorry Suzie,"
"Sophie,"
"See! I don't understand how you women can do this. Hook up with men, night after night, who won't even remember your name."
"Hey!"
"What? So what I'm saying isn't true? You don't hate yourself sometimes?"
"Everybody hates themselves sometimes."
"That can't be healthy." She got off him and sat on the other side of the cab,
"So this isn't happening tonight?"
"I'm sorry Suzie,"
"Sophie,"
"Yeah, sorry."
Uncle Barney got out of the cab that night and went for a very long walk. He walked home, all the way through Central Park. He thought while he walked, about all the crappy decisions he had made in his life, since Shannon, since Rhonda, all the women he'd treated like crap. Lily was right; he had come to a point in his life where he had to make a decision about his future. Did he want to be the 70 year old picking up young ladies in bars? Or did he want to be the 70 year old with and wife and grandkids? Only one option made him smile so he changed direction near his place and headed instead for Lily and Marshall's apartment.
