f Voldemort Was Intelligent

A.N. yes, I have actually made this! OMG, I know! Lol. So, yeah. This takes place in the graveyard in the fourth book. Just so you know, this is not meant to be serious, unlike the HP one. I don't actually think this SHOULD happen, I just think it would be great that if, by some alignment of the planets, it DID.

Disclaimer: Mine nothing is, and Yoda I am not. It darn.

"Wormtail, give it to me. You did make sure to bring everything I told you to?" Lord Voldemort's eyes flashed dangerously. He knew Wormtail was not always reliable. Really, he rarely was. Stupid useless creature.

"Y-yes, my lord. I made sure to bring everything that you wanted exactly, my lord." Trembling, the useless lump of wasted air and space handed over the black box, which Voldemort took with his own long-fingered hands. It felt good to be himself and have his own body parts again. He removed the weapon, and Potter's death at last, from the box and put in his long, dark cloak, then turned menacingly to face the black-haired teen tied to a gravestone.

"So, you have one choice to make now, boy. You can side with me, with the superior purebloods, and I'll let you live. You may even eventually earn a place of power. Or, you can side with your silly muggles and mudbloods and die here." Oh, Voldemort loved this part. The inner battle of the supposedly righteous, which he knew would end only with one thing with this particular boy. His stupid scarred face would finally cease to plague dreams and nightmares.

As expected, the inner battle lasted too short to even see. Eyes lit with defiance, the boy lifted his chin and spoke his idiotic mind. "I will never join you. You are evil, and my parents didn't join you. I don't plan on doing anything that they wouldn't be proud of."

No, this boy would not cause much trouble at all.

"Very well. Then you will die." He reached into his cloak and pulled out his wand. The boy flinched, then seemed surprised to still be breathing. Voldemort raised the wand and, making a slicing motion with it, cut the ropes binding the boy. He flinched again, then looked even shocked to still be breathing. "Wormtail, give the boy his wand." Wormtail nearly tripped over himself in his rush to obey. That worthless thing really was beginning to become annoying.

They both bowed to each other, and the boy raised a trembling wand hand. Voldemort raised his, much more calmly, and uttered his carefully chosen spell. "Expelliarmus." It would be funny to see the boy scrambling after a silly piece of wood.

The boy easily jumped out of the way. So, he has speed. Well, that makes this more fun. The boy's eyes lit with triumph, as if he actually thought he stood the slightest chance. Voldemort smirked and reached once more into his cloak.

"So, you can dodge, can you? Well, dodge this, mudblood!" In a fluid motion, Voldemort pulled out a Micro-Uzi and emptied the entire magazine into Potter's face. "You wanted to be friendly with muggles. Well, you got die like one." Stupid boy.

A.N. Hahaha! Sorry, I just think it's really funny, seeing as Harry would never be able to block or dodge a bullet, and it'd be awesome to see Voldie taking advantage of that. Review, please! Even if it's just to say "Your story is stupid and not funny and you're stupid and not funny go throw yourself off a bridge you fail at life". Because we know everyone who gives me negative feedback can't figure out how to write a proper sentence ;) Nah, seriously, I like any review, flames at all. Fire is fun!