Operation:Robin Roost

A/n: Poor Tim. You never stood a chance.

"YOU'RE WHAT!" Tim wanted to plug his fingers in his ear and pretend that he wasn't in the restaurant with his adopt brother Dick who had just manged to make him feel like he was on the spot. Everyone in the restaurant were now looking at them, as Dick leaned in closer to him. "You are kidding right?"

No, no Dick I am not. Tim bit his lip, and looked down at his food, trying to figure out how to play it cool. "It isn't a big deal."

"Isn't a big deal my ass. Crap, we need to fix this."

"There is nothing to fix. I'm fine."

"I mean, you really are, aren't you?" Dick looked at Tim hard, trying to see if he could spot the lie. "Are you sure you aren't kidding? Not even Cassandra?"

"Dude. She is like our sister."

"Yea, our hot Asian sister. What is wrong with you?"

Nothing. Nothing is wrong with me, you dick. Tim found Dick's name now too perfect for him. "There is nothing wrong with me. Nothing at all. Expect that I let you take me out to lunch."

"We need to fix this."

"No. We don't need to fix anything."

"Yes, we do. How can I live through you if you can't seal the deal."

"I don't see the point in it. I must be asexual. Can we let it go?"

"I mean, what do you have against women."

"I have nothing against women. I just got to see how well things worked out for you and Bruce, sorry if I don't want to jump on that wagon."

Dick shrugged his shoulders. "Don't you want to be connected to another person?"

"You can be connected with people without getting naked, Dick."

"It is a lot more fun that way." Dick looked at him food and his eyes got a little wider, thinking about good times. "A lot more."

I am getting no where. "Can we talk about something else?"

"Sorry. Mind just blown over here."

"Why? Because I am a virgin? You were once."

"Yea, and that was a long time ago. And Gordon walked in, that was a show stopper."

"But, but you broke up with Barbara in High school..."

"Yea, so?"Dick had a your point look on his face.

"But what about the creed?"

"The Creed? What the hell-" A realization washed across Dick's face, "You mean that oath Bruce taught us? The, 'The two things that can kill you are sex and panicking'? Is that the creed you are talking about? From the guy who has had enough sex to populate half of Africa? Really?"

"He doesn't enjoy it."

"My ass. No one has that much sex and doesn't enjoy it." Dick waved his fork around, "That is it. We are getting you laid."

Tim looked horrified. "No."

"Yes. Your new mission is to get pussy."

Tim searched his mind for ways to escape. But the look on Dick's face was clear that he wasn't going to get out of this a virgin. Not if Dick had anything to do with it.