Yo peeps! Here's a Naruto humor/parody fanfic for your enjoyment. Though it's humor/parody, I tried to keep the characters in-character as much as I could while still making this a goofy story. Hopefully you'll find them in character to your satisfaction. Oh yeah, you don't have to read the two notes below, but it may answer a few questions as you read through the story.
Note to Dub Luvers: Now you may notice that I type in "Sakura-chan or "Sasuke-kun", calling "Village Hidden in the Leaves" by the original name "Konoha", or putting the last names before the first names. i.e.; "Hyuuga Neji" instead of putting "Neji" before "Hyuuga", "Neji Hyuuga". This is because I originally wrote this story while I was watching the Naruto series in Japanese, not the dubbed English version. But I am too lazy to go back and change it all, as it is far too troublesome. Or maybe I just want to keep some of the Japanese honourifics and original names in there. You can choose.
Note to Sub Junkies: You'll probably notice Naruto saying "Believe it" like in the dub. Why? Because it's in Naruto's character to say that, and I can put that in this story. I'm not going to make him say "dattebayo". I'm sorry, but that just doesn't really work with an English-written fanfic, in my opinion. Nor am I going to make them speak Japanese, like making them say "hai", "dobe", or "teme" and such. This is an English fanfic, not Japanese. Honourifics are probably enough for this story, and I hope those will satisfy you enough. If you don't like it, just try to ignore it.
So without further ado, let us begin the insanity! I mean, story...
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Too bad...
It was a very hot summer sunny day in the Village of Konoha. In fact it was so hot that rocks were melting. Heck, even people were melting! Wait. That didn't sound right...eww.
Team 7 had been given a week off in the middle of this die-from-heat stroke time of the year. And at this point in time, Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke were waiting by the ramen shop. For who? Why, for no other than their beloved sensei, Kakashi, of course. He had called them up to meet him by the ramen shop, as he had something important to tell them.
Naruto threw his arms up in the air "Dammit! Where the hell is Kakashi-sensei? He tells us not to be late, but he's the one who always late!" Naruto stamped the ground in frustration as he had another one of his shouting spaz attacks.
Sakura sighed. "Naruto, you know how he is. He's always late. Besides, it's not like we were doing anything important. It's too hot to do anything else other than lay around and do nothing but sweat."
"But I want to get back to laying around and doing nothing but sweat! It's better than standing around and doing nothing but sweat while waiting for Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto whined.
"What a pathetic past time you have." Sasuke, the ever-brooding Uchiha scowled at the two.
"Oh yeah? And what have you been doing, 'Mr. I'm-so-much-more-resourceful-and-better-than-everyone-else'? Naruto shot back.
"Well...I've been sitting...and thinking quietly I suppose..." Sasuke replied.
"Geez, same thing as us! Ha! Even you can't do anything useful in this heat!"
"Naruto, get off Sasuke's case!" Sakura snapped.
Suddenly, Kakashi appeared in front of them, using that special ninja-poofing/appearing-out-of nowhere-technique-thingy. He raised his hand,saying " Yo."
"You're late!" Naruto and Sakura said at the same time.
"Well you see, this adorable little puppy wasstarving on the side of the road, soI needed to feed it to save its life."
"THAT'S A LIE!" they yelled in unison.
Kakashi rubbed the back of his head with his head. "Well, getting to the point, let's step into the ramen shop."
5 minutes later, they were all sipping down their bowls of ramen (well except Kakashi wouldn't take his mask off in front of the others, so he was just sitting and doing nothing with his ramen ...and Naruto was gobbling his down...(by the way, this would be his 3rd bowl of ramen) so technically, only Sakura and Sasuke were sipping downtheir ramen.
Sakura finally spoke up "So why did you call us here, Kakashi-sensei?"
"Oh yes, about that. Well, I thought with all this heat and boredom, we should get out into the wilderness and spend some quality time together while we have this free time the Hokage gave us."
Naruto, Sakura, & Sasuke just stared at their sensei for a moment, unsure of what crazy thing he was planning.
Kakashi continued. "In other words, I have arranged a 4-day camping trip for us! It's just a few hours away from here. We shouldn't have trouble getting there. And we'll cook our own food, have campfires, and do camping-stuff! It's a great way to improve your skills, in case on a future mission you have to camp outside for a night or so and do other things that include survival skills in the wilderness."
Sakura tried to find words for what she had just heard.
Sasuke frowned "...sounds like a load of crap to-"
"Excellent! Let's go! After another bowl of ramen of course!" The ever-excited Naruto cut in.
Kakashi smiled "I'm glad to see you guys are eager. But we can't leave quite yet, not today. We still have-"
"Aww, but why not?" Naruto interrupted.
"I was getting to that. Like I was saying, we still have to plan out our meals, and shop for the food-"
Naruto interrupted once again. "Ooh! Ooh! Can we bring ramen! Can we? Can we? Can-"
Sakura hit him on the head with her fist, shutting the hyperactive boy up. "Shut up, Naruto! Kakashi-sensei is still talking!"
Naruto rubbed his head, moaning in pain.
Kakashi was silent for a moment before he continued "We still need to get a car for transportation too."
"What?" Sakura said, confused.
"Awesome! I've heard of those things, but I've never been in one of them before! This is going to be great, huh, guys?" Naruto shouted, scaring away half the customers out of the ramen shop.
Sasuke scowled "Whatever..."
Note: "Ok, time out!" you say. "A car in the world of ninjas?" But hey, they actually did put things in like electricity, telephone poles, TVs, VCRs, trains, and even trucks in Naruto, so maybe they could have cars. Besides, this is just a stupid humour story I'm writing here, so what do you expect? It could be crazier. Ok, back to the story...
Kakashi spoke up. "Depending how fast we can get the things we need, we may leave tomorrow, or the day after that. I suggest you start packing your things up now, but don't pack too much. I don't know what kind of vehicle I'll be able to get, so there may not be very much space."
Naruto was barely paying attention, picking his nose, while Sakura listened attentively and Sasuke stared off into the horizon.
"So basically, pack clothes, a sleeping bag, and anything else you may need or want that's useful. Don't worry about tents, lanterns, and the gas stove. I'll be bringing those."
Naruto gave out a cheer of excitement. "Alright! Let's go!"
Sakura tensed for a moment as she just thought about something. "I won't get too dirty, will I?"
"If you're paranoid about that, I suppose you can bring soap, a hair brush, and any other grooming things you may want that don't require plugging into walls." Kakashi replied.
"Can we pack now, Kakashi sensei?" Naruto was bouncing on his toes in excitement.
"Yes. Dismissed."
Naruto cheered and took off at the speed of a bullet train toward his place.
Sakura turned to Sasuke "Sasuke-kun! Are you going to pack now? How about I pack with you?"
"No."
"oh, ok. You sure?"
"Yes. I am quite sure."
"Alright..."
Heart-broken, Sakura sulked off towards her house to pack.
"Sasuke, aren't you going to go pack now?" Kakashi asked the grouchy Uchiha boy.
"No. This is pointless. Why are we doing this?"
"Because I explained before, we all need to get out and spend some quality time together, and it-" Kakashi was interrupted
"-will help us with our survival skills in case of future missions. I know." Sasuke finished.
"...Then why did you ask?"
Sasuke sighed angrily. "Never mind that I ever asked. I'm not going!"
"And what other better things do you have to do here? Laying around and doing nothing but sweat?" Kakashi pointed out.
"No...well, yeah. But anything's better than having to spend4dayswith those idiots!" Sasuke huffed.
"They're your team mates, Sasuke. Get used to them. You're going whether you like it or not." Kakashi said sternly.
"Just try and make me!" Sasuke replied, crossing his arms.
"I'd rather not resort to that. But I'm sure Sakura and Naruto will before I do, and I'm sure their methods will be more traumatizing than mine."
Sasuke was silent for a moment before he replied to Kakashi. "Fine. I'll go pack."
Sasuke quickly walked off to his house to pack.
Kakashi smiled satisfyingly,(or did he? As we can't really tell for sure behind that mask.) as he pulled out his book and read his beloved 'Icha Icha Paradise'.
"I win."
To be continued...
So how was that? Awesome? Good? Ok? Craptacular? Or just plain crap? I'll accept constructive criticism and flames, whatever. Just please give me a review. It'll make me happy.
