Pottergeist
Chapter One-shot: Pottergeist
After a time of Hermione and Harry introducing Ron to a lot of Muggle action movies, including a particular horror movie called Poltergeist, Ron had a sudden idea. An idea that even Hermione couldn't dispute. How to bring the dead back to life.
"So, how does this work?" Hermione asked as they entered the Death Room in the Department of Mysteries. She stood facing the veil as Harry and Ron came up behind her.
"Well," Ron cleared his throat, glad to be explaining something for once. "Harry and I were watching a Muggle movie called Poltergeist, and it was really cool, and it turns out the Muggles discovered a way to bring the dead back."
"Really?" Hermione said interestedly.
"You know in the movie, the girl is in the land of the dead and her father has a rope to tie him to the living and he walks into the light, aka the veil to rescue his daughter," Harry reminded her. "Well, it's simple."
"We use a magical rope, go into the veil, take Fred, and get out," Ron said simply.
Hermione looked thoughtful but doubtful. "It might work. Try it for a test first."
"Ok, I'll go," Ron said happily, having Hermione conjure a magical string around his waist. "Hermione, keep hold of it. When I come back, I'll have not only Fred but Merlin too."
"All the secrets of Wizardkind revealed," Hermione said excitedly.
Ron walked in. The veil fluttered as if in high wind but instead of quieting, it remained as it was for five minutes until Ron returned. An unlikely person was behind him. None other than Colin Creevey.
Hermione squealed and jumped with delight. Harry and Ron ignored her ramblings about how famous they were going to be. Harry in fact looked unsurprised. Harry gaped at Ron, eyeing Colin with surprise, "Why'd you save him?"
"Testing. It seems to have worked," Ron said happily.
"Well, you can throw him back in if you want," Harry shrugged.
"I feel really tired," Ron excused. "Besides, unlike you, I'm not a murderer."
"We've been through this Ron," Harry sighed with his eyes rolling. "I didn't kill anyone and you know it."
"You killed poor Voldemort," Ron said back. "That's murder in my book."
"It was self-defense!"
"Guys!" Hermione interrupted. "Fred? We have a mission. Do it!"
"Right, I'm next," Harry announced.
"Are you sure about this, Harry?" Hermione asked worriedly over Colin's excited yells.
"After what I've seen Ron do to Colin… I'm dead sure!" he said confidently.
Harry was confident. He walked straight in and all it took was three minutes before he came back with Sirius Black. This Sirius looked different though. Instead, he sported a white beard instead of a black one.
Colin jumped up and down excitedly, Ron rolling his eyes at Colin's glee. "It's Sirius Black! Yay!"
Sirius nodded around at Harry and winked at Hermione, and then he looked up thoughtfully very reminiscent of Gandalf the White in fact, that some may get in trouble if they don't properly cite the source. "Yes, that is what they used to call me. Sirius Black. I am Sirius White, and I come back to you now at the turn of the tide."
Harry and Colin burst out laughing, both of them having seen Lord of the Rings and loved it, (Colin sees everything from the land of the dead so he's allowed) Ron gaped at him and Hermione raised her eyebrow. "Turn of the tide? Sirius, the war ended ages ago."
Sirius looked downtrodden. "Oh, really? It did? Well, I couldn't resist using the line, and… well, then… there's no reason for me to be here then."
"No wait!"
Too late. Sirius was gone again and funnily enough, Ron was laughing very hard. "Died the same way he came. How typical."
Then, Hermione lost patience and scolded Ron, hitting him with books that conveniently appeared in her hands in a fussy Emma-Watson-like manner. "Ron, none of this is typical. This is in fact convoluted and messed up!"
"Ok, my turn!" Colin yelled happily in glee, pawing the ground like a bull and charging right in.
"Alright, go get him, Colin!" Harry yelled happily.
Ron meanwhile was still in Muggle-action-movie land since Sirius' cheap line but this time went across the spectrum into a galaxy far, far away. "Are you sure about this? Trusting our faith to a boy we hardly know? The Minister won't approve."
Harry stared at him with eyes full of unmistakable anger. "If you ever take lines from a Muggle science fiction action movie again, so help me Merlin I will throw you into the veil myself."
"Someone say my name?"
Hermione gasped as Colin returned heroically with none other than Merlin behind him. His long-ass white beard hung from his chin and he smiled serenely. Harry blew out a sigh of relief and Ron was shocked.
"Jesus Christ," Harry muttered.
"Good idea!" Colin said excitedly, making as if to run in again.
Hermione held him back. "No, don't! You've done enough damage!"
"Damage?" Harry whispered in awe. "Merlin is back. I don't believe it. Thank you, Colin. The world is saved."
"This is gonna be great!" Ron said happily.
"Wait… this does have a flaw," Hermione said worriedly. "The damage can be done. Voldemort could grab on while we pull the dead back. If that happens… we'd be… killed, or worse fired from the Ministry."
"Ok then, I'll go, he fears me," Harry said bravely, tying the rope around him next. "Ron, I'll be back with Fred!"
"Excellent."
And Harry disappeared, Colin staring in awe after him. This trip didn't take a minute though as Harry ran back with fear. There, grabbing on to his leg for support was none other than Voldemort. He seemed happy, (of course he wasn't sad.)
"And I have you to thank, Granger," he whispered.
"Weasley," she corrected. "I'm married."
"Congratulations, but you'll all be killed nonetheless and… ah, Mr. Creevey. Back from the dead, I see."
"He's mad at me because I beat him at Gobstones yesterday," Colin said happily.
"That was a fluke, Creevey!" he yelled. "Avada Kedavra!"
Just as what happened to Sirius in Movie 5 but didn't happen in Book 5, Colin was hit and fell into the veil. Hermione yelled in fear, but Harry just scoffed. "So what? I'll just bring him back. Here I'll show you. Tie me. Ok, good. See ya in five."
Voldemort tapped his foot as he waited for Harry, holding the string. Harry walked in and came back within three minutes, prompting Ron to yell, "You said five, you lunatic liar."
"What?" Voldemort whispered in surprise as Ron and Hermione charged Voldemort and pushed him in the veil. Harry, still being tied to him for that time since he gave the rope to Voldemort to hold as he brought Colin back, fell in after him. Ron and Hermione screamed in fright.
"Oh, my God!" Colin yelled. "He's dead. What do we do?"
"He promised me Fred would come back!" Ron said miserably.
"You forget, you've found a pathway for the dead to come back," Merlin said sagely. "I'll get him."
Merlin disappeared next. The veil, deciding that it couldn't take this crap anymore, decided to suck in Merlin just after he got out. Luckily, Harry got out in time but it was still weird, leaving them all where they started. Hermione was pissed as hell.
"And that is why you should never mess with the dead," Colin said happily.
The last line seemed to have sparked an idea in Hermione. Deciding this whole thing was useless, she looked at Colin thoughtfully. Well why the hell not? She raised her wand, "Avada Kedavra."
"Hermione, how could you?" Ron demanded.
"He was dead, Ron, that was so wrong," Hermione said dramatically. "Let this stand as a lesson to all of you. Don't mess with the dead."
"But"-
"Not, buts," she interrupted. "Hide the evidence!"
"But, Hermione"-
"Hide it! Throw the body in the veil, NOW!"
"But, Hermione"- Hermione used a Charm to levitate Colin's body back into the veil. "Now we're leaving this place immediately and that's final. If you two immature boys will go first… it's bad enough we know someone who died three times. This shall never be spoken of again."
How wrong she was. It's being spoken of right now, isn't it?
