It should have been me.

It's the first thought that pops into your head. You are sitting in your car in front of the church, just watching the wooden doors. They are wide open allowing you to see the decorations, not what you would've picked out for a wedding, but its not your wedding now is it? No, it's not. So you bite your lip, and just continue to stare at the door. Your mind is completely numb, your eyes don't believe what they are seeing, and even though logic tells you that this day would come you still don't think its actually happening. But it is. You could have stopped it. You could have been apart of it. Not now.

Your eyes catch movement. It's Rhodey. He's standing in the doors, peering outside. He's looking for you. You said you would be here, and you are. You just don't know if you can go inside that church and watch what is about to happen. You swear he's squinting at your car. You don't know how you're going to explain sitting out here. Your not that sure you'll be able to form words. You're drunk. You glance at the passenger seat of your car, and there is a bottle half empty inside it's brown paper packaging. It's twin is on the floor of your car, empty and lifeless. Just like you feel.

You shouldn't be driving. But as you glance back towards the doors of the church, your positive that Rhodey knows it's you. You're sure any second now he will walk over, talk you into standing at the back of that church and witness the most horrifying thing in your life. Worse than terrorists, and bullet holes and tanks. You peel out of your parking spot. It's brought you more attention than you want, and you know you're going to get a visit later, but you plan on being so drunk that it won't even matter.

It could have been me.

You hear the bells ring and you think: You're a fool, Pepper Potts, a fool.