That's So Cliché!

Chapter 1: She's Making a List, She's Checking it Twice.

I never really thought the day would come. For as many fun and interesting events that happened in my childhood, the past 14 years of my life have droned on and on. I never imagined the day would come that I would set my foot onto the welcoming mat of South Park High and take in the clean smell of the freshly cleaned marble floors and freshly painted stone walls as a freshman. That's right, 9th grade. It all seemed so amazing, the school was huge. There were people everywhere. I was in awe. As excited as I was to finally be playing in the big leagues, I was still a little nervous that I would be stuck sitting in the sidelines and watching as everyone else went through highschool and I just drifted along. I wasn't going to do that again. I went through my whole life with my face in the plain pages of the text books, reading about how others made people of themselves, and digits in a calculator, constantly punching in and calculating the minutes I was wasteing on pointless school work instead of living a life worth living. My friends have all had boyfriends, first kisses, love stories, LOVE LIFES, and what have I got? Only romance novels to fill the void in my heart that longed for some type… ANY type of romance. Hopes filled my mind as I stepped through that door that one of upperclassmen would swish me off my feet and give me exactly what I was looking for.

There were three middle schools, total. In middle school I went to Ridgeview Middleschool, positioned closest to the mountains, which was admitidly the richest school of the three. My middle school had all the beautiful, popular bitches in it, not to say that the entire female population in my old school was bitchy and popular, but if you were to point one out at the highschool, there's a 99.9% chance that they went to my middleschool. That's only because we have money, and those who have money liked those who have money, and no one else. I'll admit, I am part of that crowd, I have been told that I do have stunningly good looks, and everyone likes me(except for maybe those ugly, annoying chicks that me and my friends kind of pick on), and all of the popular bitches are my best friends, so I guess I do fit into the bitchy, popular, stereotype. I try not to be too bitchy, though. I mean, if you piss me off, I'll raise hell, but if you're on my goodside, I'm a great friend to have! Just ask anyone, it's a fact! I'm sure I could have gotten a boyfriend in middle school, in fact, I'm positive! I was asked out by guys all of the time, but I always turned them down because all of the guys in my school only saw three things in girls,

Money. Money clouds all judgement with those people. If you were elected Miss Bronco because of your stunningly beautiful looks, you would get turned down by every guy in our school if you didn't have a decently heavy wallet.

Looks and status. Money comes first, but if you had a lot of money, but weren't fun to look at or popular, you wouldn't stand a chance.

Boobs. Who am I kidding? This rule really applies to every guy.

So, I basically didn't want to involve myself with someone who was only in the relationship for the reputation, and the ability to say, "Hey! My girlfriend? Oh yeah, I'm dating Wendy Testaburger. Fuck yeah, her dad's LOADED, and she ain't so bad herself!" Doesn't that sound fantastic? Exactly. That's why they all got turned down. By 8th grade I had developed the reputation of not just hard to get, but impossible to get. Guys all made jokes about how I was going to be in the V club for the rest of my life. They just don't get the fact that they are just all pompus ass, selfish dicks, and when I go into a relationship, I'm in it long term. I don't whore around like my friends, who have all dated probably every guy in the school, which is why they get so much action… and I don't. But I don't mind that. I don't want my first kiss to be on the floor of the boy's bathroom with "Super Fake Jock" Clyde like my best friend Bebe got. She even admits that if Clyde wasn't such a good kisser, it would be the most regrettable mistake of her life. It's a shame they only lasted 4 weeks. They were cute together! The only guy in our school that wasn't so much of a rich asshole would have to be Kyle Broflovski, but he wasn't datable material. The bitch in me will come out when I say, no one would date him because of his friends. Even though Kyle was potentially the richest kid in all of South Park, he insisted on hanging out with the poorer kids of the city, even one of the poorest, Kenny McKormick. He didn't seem to mind, either, which was what made his popularity take an absolute nose dive. People talked to him (and about him), and he was an absolute genius (like myself), but the fact of the matter was, he was in a worse situation than me: not just single, but unwanted, too. At least guys wanted me. It's a shame, really, it's not like he's bad looking. He's sort of skinny, average height, but he has always been toned for his age. He must be really active. For a while he was really hard to look at and not laugh, seeing as he had a ginger jew-fro the size of Jupiter, but in 7th grade he got it tamed and cut, and now it's sort of wavy. His bangs go over his forehead and stop at his eyebrows and sort of swish to the left of his head, almost like he flipped his hair too hard and it got stuck like that, and the rest of his hair seems to follow that same flow. It kind of looks like an ice cream cone, now that I think of it! But every guy calls him flippy-hair man (he DOES flip his hair a lot... it's kind of hot). Or gay. One or the other, both kind of make sense.

Upon the mentioning of Kyle, that brings me back to my original point. There are two other schools that go into the highschool, one is Stark Middleschool, the central middleschool that is positioned near Stark's Pond, which is kind of the middle ground of the schools with all of the mellowed out kids who generally don't give a shit about drama and money, seeing as most are middleclass anyways. They're pretty good at sports, too. They kick ass at football and soccer, and usually destroyed every team in their devision. I haven't been around that school, because, other than Cross Country (distance running), I don't do any sports, and my kind doesn't usually communicate with, dare I say it, their kind. I've never seen people from that school, and I guess that's good, because if I were to be friends with anyone from there, I'd be standing over the edge of popularity, ready to jump off.

The other middle school was just South Park Middle School. They were too poor to have a special name. Everyone knew the names of the kids at that school because they were either getting arrested for drugs, arson, or underage drinking. I'm being totally honest, here. Every person, I kid you not, was dirt poor, not a single penny to their name. And they made it known that they needed money by robbing stores for it. Remember Kenny McKormick? I mentioned him earlier? That's where he goes. He wasn't really known for doing anything too bad, except for being a total feminist jackass who has his face buried in the boobs of a bunny all of the time, if you know what I mean… My friends warne me to dodge him at all costs, just because I'm a little… chesty.. and he would be all over me like water on a sponge. It scares me, sort of, thinking about sharing a school with scum like that. It's gross.

I now have high hopes for highschool. I intend on keeping my grades up, but I will deffinately get more involved in socializing. I even made myself a list of things that needed to get done by the end of freshman year. Reading over the list I can't help but to notice the lurching of my stomach at the excitement for some of them. It makes me dizzy, thinking of the experiences I would get this year. I knew they would get done, too. When I make a commitment, I don't quit until it is done. So it will get done. I'm Wendy Testaburger. I get what I fucking want.

Wendy's To do list: Freshman Addition

Get my first boyfriend, preferably a sexy, upperclassman with a lot of money, so daddy will approve. I hope he can drive…

Have the PERFECT first date.

Fall in love

Have someone fall in love with me.

Get my first kiss, from same sexy upperclassmen. If he sucks at kissing…. Lord help his ass

Go to my first crazy highschool party, with or without alcohol, either way, it needs to be a party environment, I've never been in that before… maybe taste the forbidden fruit… Bebe should be able to get me into one

Get a job, maybe that's where I'll meet my sexy upperclassman ;)

Varsity in Cross Country, I was best in middle school, I intend to be so in highschool

Get a B. I've been too focused on school and not enough on play. Getting a lower grade would be a good start.

Make out.

Buy a thong and a push up bra. Make people want to see me naked. But not let them get any. I can't be a TOTAL whore. I have morals, you know.

Make tons of new friends (That's a given)

Join swim team. Good looking people swim.

Sneak out

Be offered drugs, or a cigarette, but be the bigger person and turn them down.

Make more goals as you go!