AN: Okay, so… Welcome to Acracktsuki! XD I can't think of a better title, if you can't tell. It is my mission to get through every single possible Akatsuki pairing ever. This includes dominance switches, so I'll be doing, say, ItaZetsu and ZetsuIta – they count as separate pairings. Doing the 'canon' ones (aka, the partner shippings) first, then the crack ones have literally been ordered via a random number generator. Well, I hope you enjoy this. :3 Onwards and upwards!
KisaIta – Irrelevant.
Hoshigaki Kisame is a proud man – he will readily admit this. He is a proud man, but is in no way vain. He despises his appearance and fully believes that it is something to despise. Well, 'who wouldn't?' – after all, his skin is blue, adorned with unsightly looking gills, his teeth razor sharp ('who would want to kiss a man who'd make your mouth bleed with just one wrong move?'), his build 'too tall, too stocky'. No, he is not a vain man, but he is proud. After all, he has great faith in his abilities and his sword.
Kisame knows that any other person would disagree with him when he says that Itachi-san is neither of those things (vain or proud). Yes, the young Uchiha is an amazing fighter, a truly terrifying foe to face, his genjutsu unrivalled, his ninjutsu perfect and his taijutsu impenetrable. This is, of course, Kisame's opinion of the teenager (though it is hard at times to remember that the boy has not even yet reached his twentieth birthday). But he is neither vain nor proud. Itachi-san will agree with him out loud, as Itachi-san will never admit a fault out loud. But Itachi-san, on the inside, really just doesn't believe has anything to be vain or proud about.
The Uchiha is beautiful. Kisame doesn't think that anyone could ever disagree with this. But he knows that Itachi-san does not believe that he is beautiful – and it breaks the shark-man's heart every time he sees his partner frown at his own reflection. And for all his talents, Itachi-san is constantly striving to be better, which Kisame firmly believes is impossible.
Unfortunately, Kisame knows that he, himself, is a proud man because he knows that he is talented. But he knows that he's talented, and therefore he knows that he's proud, and therefore he knows that he can fairly evaluate himself. And so when he says he has nothing to be vain about, he knows it's true. If that even makes sense… But his logic never really did make sense to anyone else. He just, by his logic, can say that he's damn ugly and he can know it's true. He spent a while coming up with the theory to self-depreciate himself with no guilt.
Unfortunately, talent will only get you so far. It'll get you the rewards and the gold, but never the 'girl'.
So when Itachi asked him - for the fifth time that day - what he was looking at, Kisame just tore his gaze from his partner again and – for the fifth time that day – simply replied with a 'nothing'.
Itachi-san doesn't need to know that Kisame has been in love with the prodigy from the first time he saw him. It's irrelevant, and Kisame simply isn't pretty enough for him.
AN: I hope you enjoyed. X3 Review, please? 3 And if we get enough comments in favour of doing a certain pairing earlier, it might get moved forward significantly. 3 But without fail, the next pairing will definitely be SasoDei. :3
