Hello, friends! As promised, here is "The First Confrontation" from the point of view of none other than our dear Professor Lupin. Enjoy!
Lottie had been avoiding me.
This was so incredibly evident. After the evening she'd come to visit me, things had been strange with her. She wouldn't meet my gaze, and she never seemed to stay in my office for lunch anymore. Something was going on with her, but I wasn't quite sure what.
My fear was that she'd somehow figured out what I was, and she was simply too polite to mention it. Lottie wasn't an idiot; she had seen all of my scars and the fresh wounds from the most recent transformation. Honestly, it would amaze me if she hadn't figured it out by now. And of course she'd avoid me. Of course. Who in their right mind would continue to be so friendly with a werewolf?
Or perhaps it was something else. That night, we'd gotten very close. The tension was so thick you could've cut it with a knife. Honestly, it took all of my restraint not to kiss her as she stood in the doorway, her hair falling out of her ponytail and curling around her face. Maybe, just maybe, she'd realized that I felt something, and it scared her away. Or maybe she felt it, as well, and was just afraid to acknowledge it….
That's it. I couldn't just sit around waiting anymore. I rose from my desk, determined to resolve this awkwardness between us. Just as I did so, I noticed a puff of blonde hair passing my office door.
"Miss Lovegood!" She turned to look at me. I knew she was one of Lottie's favorites; it seemed as if Lottie was collecting misfits to mother. "Have you seen Professor Fraser today?"
"Not yet," she replied dreamily. "But I was hoping to find her; I wanted to show her this article in the Quibbler. I checked down by Professor Hagrid's hut, but she wasn't there."
"Well, if you see her, can you let her know that I'm looking for her? I, ah, need to discuss some lesson plans with her."
"Of course, Professor Lupin! Have a nice day!" I watched as she wandered off, looking as if she was in her own little world. She would probably forget almost instantly.
After nearly an hour of waiting, I decided I would go looking for Lottie myself. Naturally, the first place I checked was her office, and, naturally, she was sitting inside with Luna.
"Nargles?" I heard Lottie ask, her confusion barely masked. I forced a smile and knocked on the door frame. Lottie nearly jumped out of her skin, and her face paled when she met my eyes. Brilliant. Luna's eyes brightened as she turned back to Lottie.
"That's what I was supposed to tell you! Professor Lupin is looking for you."
"Well, he found me," Lottie replied stiffly, mouth turning up ever so slightly at the corners. She really didn't want to be around me right now. Too bad.
"I certainly did," I replied as pleasantly as possible, sweetening my smile. I turned to Luna. "Would it be alright if I interrupted you ladies to speak with Professor Fraser privately, Luna?"
"Actually, Luna was just about to tell me about nargle migration patterns," Lottie spat out, frantically trying to signal Luna with her eyes. She was a master of subtlety, really.
Luna, bless her, helped my cause along. She rose gracefully from her seat. "It's alright! We can finish some other time. Thanks for the tea and biscuits, Professor."
"Any time, Luna," Lottie muttered through gritted teeth, continuing to force a smile. We both watched as Luna drifted out, gently closing the door behind her. We were alone.
I looked at her, and she looked at me, both waiting for the other to speak. Ideally, she would just explain herself without me having to pull it from her. However, if I had learned anything about Lottie, it was that nothing was ever easy with her. After a few moments of unbroken eye contact, I came to stand before her, leaning in on a chair.
"Would you like to explain to me what's been going on with you?" Lottie's eyes widened, and she blinked at me.
"I have no idea what you're talking about," she spat out quickly, almost as if she thought that by saying it quickly, she could make me believe it. I raised an eyebrow at her.
"Really? You have no idea?" Did she think I was an idiot?
"Nope. Sorry." She most definitely thought I was an idiot. She was squirming in her seat, neck flushed as she avoided making eye contact with me. Honestly, she was impossible. "Why? Is there something that's been bothering you, Remus?"
I almost laughed. She really was going to make me work to get some answers. "Well, it seems as though you've been avoiding me." Her eyes widened, and she flushed even deeper, looking as though she wanted very much to disappear. "So you have been avoiding me!"
"I never said that!" she responded in an almost childlike tone, finally meeting my eyes. I couldn't help but grin slightly at her sad attempts to keep up the charade; she was certainly very determined.
"Lottie, you're a horrible liar," I teased slightly. Merlin, it was easy to fall into this with her. Still, I had a mission. I shook my head slightly to refocus myself. "Really, though, why have you been avoiding me? If I've done something to offend you, please let me know so that I can make things right with us."
"You didn't do anything." Bullshit, I didn't do anything. Still, she seemed to be wearing down. I moved to where she sat and knelt before her, looking up at her. If I had to beg, I would.
"Lottie, please," I said quietly, watching her face for any sign of weakness. I could see her breaking, and I continued. "I'd hate to think that we let our friendship be ruined for some reason that I don't even know."
She didn't speak for a moment, and I thought for a second that I'd finally gotten her. Just as I thought she was going to crack, though, she stood and moved away from me, very obviously trying to hold it together. I followed her as she spoke.
"Remus, really, I'd rather we not talk about this. I promise, you, though, that it's nothing you've done." She seemed unsettled, almost scared. She must have figured out my secret. That had to be it. She had figured it out, and thought that I was here to threaten her. My chest felt heavy in that moment.
"Why are you running from me?" She turned to look at me. I could hear how pathetic I sounded. "Are you afraid of me?"
"Yes! No!" she exclaimed, pausing only briefly between each word. She seemed almost apologetic, yet too flustered to really care about my feelings. Alright, Lupin, no more being pathetic. I needed to get this settled. I continued after her, and she backed around the desk as I pursued her. "I mean, I'm not afraid of you, but I'm- I don't really- I'M JUST BEING WEIRD, OKAY?"
Honestly, I almost felt bad about tricking Lottie. Almost. However, it was all too easy to fake a move to her left, only to come around and grab her while she was thrown off guard. I easily held her in place as she struggled.
"Lottie." She pulled in all directions, desperately trying to escape. Honestly, she was batty if she thought she was stronger than me. "Lottie." Oh, Merlin, now she was trying to bite me. I was dealing with a child. I shook her ever so slightly and sharpened my tone. "Lottie, just hold still!" That got her attention. She ceased her incessant struggling, taking a moment to recover from the shock of being shaken before she met my gaze. I let out the breath I hadn't realized I was holding. "Please. Just talk to me. What's going on?"
"I can't tell you, Remus," she said quietly, almost pleading with me. Her eyes searched my face, as if looking for any sign of mercy. I started to speak, to assure her that she could tell me anything, but she was quicker. "No, Remus. Listen to me. I'm sorry that I've been avoiding you, and I definitely have been avoiding you, but I absolutely cannot tell you why. If I told you, I would never be able to look you in the eye again."
Oh, Merlin. Maybe this wasn't about me. Perhaps it had nothing to do with me at all, and she was just embarrassed. "Did you do something illegal?" She snorted slightly, and I assumed the worst. What on earth could embarrass her so much that she would avoid me? Something crept into my mind, and my eyes widened in horror. "Lottie, please tell me that you didn't sleep with a student."
"WHAT?" I winced; alright, so it probably wasn't that. "Where the hell did that come from? In what world have I done anything to make you think that I'd ever be so inclined as to sleep with a student?"
"I don't know, Lottie!" I responded, losing my temper completely. I'd held it together until now, but I'd reached my breaking point. "I don't know what's going on with you!"
"Stop shouting at me!"
"You shouted first!" I replied incredulously, not bothering to lower my voice in the slightest. She began to respond before realizing that she was about to continue the shouting match. She took in a deep breath before continuing.
"I shouted because you were being ridiculous."
I looked at her as though she had lost her mind, which, to be fair, she probably had. "You're the one who's being ridiculous. Just tell me what happened."
"You're sure we can't just forget about it and go back to normal?" she asked quietly, her voice barely more than a whisper.
"I'm 't make me ask Severus for veritaserum."
"Fine," she snapped, her face flushed at the idea of being forced to speak under the influence of the truth potion. She seemed to struggle to form her words for a moment, and even as she spoke, it seemed as though she could barely make her mouth work. "I, ah...well, you see...remember when I had that cold? Right after you'd been out for a few days?" I wasn't sure I liked where this was going, but I nodded. "Right. Well. Poppy gave me a potion to help with the cold, and it sort of...I had an odd dream."
An odd dream? Really? She had been avoiding me over a dream? Honestly, what sort of dream could have been so bad that she-
Oh. I knew what kind of dream. I felt warm suddenly, and I was hyper-aware of my hands on her arms, the feeling of her body so close to mine. She'd had a sex dream, hadn't she? About me? It had to have been about me. Why else would she be avoiding me. Part of me loved that; subconsciously, Lottie wanted me in the most basic of ways. Merlin, that was satisfying. But another part of me was nervous. What happened when she admitted it to me? Would I tell her about my own feelings? Would I shut it down immediately as I should? That would be best. It could make things awkward.
Too much time had passed without my saying anything. I needed more time. I needed for her to rant at me while I thought about things. Oh, Merlin, what would make her angry?
I had it.
"Please tell me you didn't have a dream about shagging Snape." She opened her mouth immediately as if to tell me off; I should have had plenty of time to think while she berated me. However, she stopped herself, and an odd expression came over her face.
"Yes." I nearly choked. "I had a dream about shagging Snape. More of a nightmare, really, but that's what happened."
"So why have you been avoiding me, then? Because you had an inappropriate dream about Snape?" She honestly thought I was an idiot. Merlin, the woman gave me no credit. Still, this could work to my advantage. She didn't have to know that I knew that she was full of shit. I laughed. "I can't believe that's why you've been avoiding me!" I really couldn't, because she was, as I've said, full of shit. "Honestly, Lottie!"
"I knew you'd figure it out somehow," she replied, nervously, seeming to relax. Good. She thought that I bought it. "You can always tell what I'm thinking!"
"Not always," I muttered. I realized that I was still holding her, and I carefully dropped my hands. I put on a smile for her sake. "Just most of the time."
"Well, that's still more than enough." We were both quiet for a moment. Then it hit me. Lottie had willingly admitted, albeit falsely, to having had a dream about shagging Severus Snape. I grinned at her. Just because I knew she was lying didn't mean I couldn't have some fun. She seemed to realize what was happening. "Don't-"
"So you had a dream about shagging Snape?" I asked conversationally.
"I shouldn't have told you!" Right. You should've told me the truth, but you didn't.
"You know, Lottie, you two would make an adorable couple-"
"Remus, I swear-"
"Really, you'd have beautiful children-"
"REMUS!"
So there we have it. Did y'all honestly think Remus would believe that Lottie was avoiding him because of a sex dream she had about someone else? Give the man some credit! Anyhow, I hope you enjoyed this peek into the mind of Remus Lupin. Thanks for reading!
