A/N: Mmmm…. drabble fic? For once, it's not OC's. Sort of lol
There isn't much history about this one. I wrote it a while back, then opened my folder and remembered that it was there lol. So I shall give it to the world.
No Luxembourgian's were harmed in the making of this fic xD
Disclaimer: Don't own.
"You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it." –Robin Williams
"All your breasts are belonging to Korea!"
Luxembourg flinched upon hearing the shrill proclamation, almost afraid to get up and see who it was Korea was harassing this time. The Asian was right outside of her office, roaming the halls and assaulting the people who managed her government. This was the first time she'd invited the other Nation over, but from all the world meetings she'd been to, he already knew of Korea's obsession with breasts. On the other side of the door that separated her from Korea, she heard someone shout, presumably from surprise or shock or revulsion. Luxembourg sighed. Deciding that she didn't need to know, she slowly turned back to her paperwork.
"Hey there! You are Luxembourg's boss, right? Can I ask a question to you?"
The said Nations head shot up, the documents she was supposed to be looking over falling freely from her hands.
"Hm, Korea? What is it?"
The fool…! Luxembourg shot out of her seat and all but ran to the door.
"Okay, mister boss! I just wanted to know if you are aware of how I have ownership over your breasts. Do you know this?"
No! Luxembourg slammed the door open just as her boss responded.
"…what? But I don't have-"
"BOSS!"
Luxembourg, the brave soul that she was, managed to push her boss out of the way just as he was about to become another one of Korea's victims. She turned to glare at the other Nation, and said through clenched teeth, "My office. Now."
"Okay! See ya later, mister boss!" Korea chirped happily, waving goodbye to the stunned man as he turned and disappeared into Luxembourg's office. The smaller Nation followed in suit, slamming the door behind her.
"Wow, Luxembourg! You sure do have a nifty office! It's so nice and clean and fancy-"
"What the fuck do you think you're doing?"
Korea frowned. "It's not nice to swear, you know."
"Don't avoid the question! Just who do you think you are, trying to grab my boss' chest?"
"Hm? What do you mean? I don't think that I am someone. I know that I am Korea, and as Korea, I know that all the breasts of my friends belong to me. And we are friends, yes? If this is so, then all the breasts of Luxembourg are mine by default. Including those of your boss." His eyes then lit up in realization. "And… and including yours, too..."
Luxembourg noticed how Korea's eyes lowered to stare at her chest, and she almost felt like covering herself. She took a few steps back, wishing with all her might that she had listened to the other Nations, who warned her that if Korea was coming to visit her, it would be best if she carried at least a semi-automatic for protection. But she hadn't (she didn't think she'd have to—she would be dealing with the southern half, after all), so she supposed she would just have to settle for one of the sharpened pencils she kept in her front pocket. She took one out and pointed it towards Korea, both hands grasping the pencil, holding it out as one might a sword. "Don't come any closer, you freak!"
Korea innocently tilted his head to the side. "…freak?" He pouted, batting his eyelashes. "It's not nice to call your friend a freak."
Luxembourg clicked her tongue. "We're not friends! I was going over the paperwork that would've finalized our diplomatic relations, but you interrupted me by trying to sexually assault my boss!"
"Sexual assault?" Korea spat, as if the two words left a bad taste in his mouth. "No, no, no! Korea does not assault people in any kind of sexy manner! Rape is one of the few things that did not begin in me, I'll have you know! The origins of that ugly thing can be traced back to Japan."
"So then what do you call what you've been doing to my people all morning?"
Korea clasped both hands over his chest, his heart, and with a dreamy sigh replied, "I was showing them my love."
Had her hands not been preoccupied with holding her 'weapon', Luxembourg would've pinched the bridge of her nose, or would've done some other type of gesture to display her mounting frustration. "Showing them your love, eh?" She shook her head. "Do you know how uncomfortable your 'love' makes people feel, though?"
"Yes," Korea replied without missing a beat. "But that doesn't bother me. They probably just get freaked out 'cause they can sense the scariness that goes on my northern half when I touch them. Trust me, if it wasn't for that, everyone would be lining up to have themselves be groped by Korea!"
"You're nuts!"
Korea began to twirl around, giggling. "I know, right?"
Luxembourg took a deep breath, trying to get her mounting anger to dissipate before it raged out of control and she ended up stabbing Korea. She reasoned that, considering everything Korea had been forced to go through during the past century alone, that it was no wonder the boy's sense of reality was a little off. She decided that it might be best to try and reason with him.
"Okay, okay… why don't you—damnit, stop spinning!—why don't you let me get back to my paperwork? I'm almost done, and then after that, we'll… I don't know. I'll take you out for ice cream or something. How does that sound?"
Korea's eyes lit up. "That sounds great!"
"Alright, so just sit down over there and wait 'till I'm done. It'll just be about 10 minutes."
Korea happily complied, sitting down on one of the chairs in the well-decorated office. Luxembourg, feeling safe once again now that Korea was on the other side of the room, lowered her pencil and made her way back over to her desk.
Luxembourg finished before the time she had allotted herself. "Korea? Come over here for a sec'."
The said Nation did as he was asked. "What is it, Lux?"
"Well, it looks like your gonna have to—wait. Did you just call me 'Lux'?"
"Well, yeah. I think, since we are to become friends, I should call you by a pet name. Especially since your name is so long, such a marbles-in-mouth name, not at all like mine! Mine just rolls off the tongue! Hey, have you ever considered changing your—"
"Shut up! I don't care, it's fine, you can call me whatever you like. Getting back to the matter at hand," she pointed at the papers in front of him. "It looks like your gonna have to sign these forms, to show your consent in this deal."
"Okay, sure!" Korea grabbed one of the pens on her desk and reached out to sign the paper, but Luxembourg swatted his hand away.
"But before you sign… you have to do something for me first." Luxembourg said with a smirk.
Korea suddenly went pale. "W-what do y-you want…?"
"Oh, nothing really… just something very simple. I'm sure it won't even bother you—"
"No, you cannot invade my vital regions!" Korea suddenly cried.
Luxembourg's jaw dropped. Korea continued.
"No, Lux, you are better than that! You are above occupying vital regions and sexual assault and rape! You are not Japan! To try and copy him is not needed!"
"W-what makes you think—"
"Please, Lux! Don't do it!"
"Korea, relax—"
The Asian dropped down to his knees. "I'M BEGGING YOU!"
"SHUT UP!"
Korea did as he was told, bottom lip quivering, unshed tears collected in the corners of his eyes. Luxembourg clenched her fist, and it took all of her willpower not to draw up said fist and punch Korea in the face. "I never said I wanted to invade your vital regions! All I was going to say was… to establish diplomatic relations with me, you're going to have to give up the so-called 'rights' you have to my people's breasts. That's all, you damn idiot!" She grabbed the papers in front of her, rolled them up, and smacked Korea on the side of the head.
Korea blinked. "Oh." Using the desk to support himself, he got up and dusted himself off. Once back on his feet, he immediately said, "Sorry, but I can't do that."
"Why the hell not?" she cried out, exasperated.
"Because special treatment cannot be given to you! If I take my hands off the breasts of your people, then I will have to do the same for aniki China, and Japan, and America and that bastard Russia. Besides, even if that wasn't so, I still wouldn't give up the breasts of this land. You know why?"
She looked up at the other Nation with a dull, emotionless expression. "No, why?"
"Because Luxembourg is wonderful and special place! The breasts of this country are well developed and beautiful, and the people here don't scream and cry when I grope them, they just kind of jump up or shout. That is a very good thing! It's a nice change. But perhaps it is because when they sense the horror in my northern half, they don't care because they are used to it… wait, is that it?" Korea's eyes flashed with concern, and he dropped down to his knees again, taking both of Luxembourg's small hands, holding them in one hand while the other stoked them. "Did you go through bad times, too? What was it? A bad boss? A war? Did someone invade your vital regions? Tell big brother Korea all about it! Trust me, I've seen it all, so to tell me about it should not be something that you are shy about! Don't worry, you can tell me, and to listen will be the only thing I'll do, and we'll go over it and cry and make plans to make things better, okay?"
Luxembourg looked down at the peculiar Asian in front of her, before raising a stiff arm to pat him on the head, although a bit awkwardly. "Don't worry about it, Korea. You shouldn't read too much into my peoples lack of response when you grope them. It doesn't really matter. All Nations go through tough times."
"This is true, but your peoples lack of caring concerns me! Why, just the other day when I was being all North Korean and what not, I went over to Iran's house. His people have been going through a lot in the past 30 years or so, and still, whenever I grabbed their breasts they screamed louder that anyone! Some of them even hit me! It hurted a lot!"
Luxembourg couldn't suppress her laughter at that. "Well, that's what you get, going around assaulting people."
"There is that word again! You know I don't like that word, Lux."
She rolled his eyes. "Fine, whatever."
A thin silence passed between the two, before Korea finally asked, "Hey, I know that to give up your breasts is not a possibility for me, but do you think that perhaps I can sign those papers anyway?"
The other Nation nodded, perhaps in defeat, but more likely in acceptance. She handed the papers to Korea, who signed them without hesitation.
Luxembourg sighed as Korea handed back the forms. The Asian then stood up and, still holding Luxembourg's hands, pulled her up, too.
"C'mon, new friend! You promised me some ice cream! And then we're gonna walk around and explore, then come back here and go to your room where we'll talk about your problems and sob over them. After that I'll have to leave, but never worry, I'll be back soon! I think the two of us are going to be great good friends!"
Great good friends? Luxembourg didn't see how that was going to happen, but she supposed that miracles were possible. She allowed herself to be dragged out of her office.
A/N: That's all. Hope I didn't offend anyone xP Review?
