Title: Stomach Tied in Knots

Author: Sloane

Pairing: Teddy x James II

A/N: I love this pairing so damn much, so I had to write my own version of their relationship. There simply isn't enough Teddy Lupin slash fanfiction on FF dot net, in my humble opinion. So here you go.

P.S. Partly inspired by the song "Stomach Tied in Knots" by Sleeping With Sirens (of which I did a not-so-great cover of—it's on YouTube if you feel like searching for it).

Disclaimer: Disclaimed


James sighed as his eardrums were assaulted by the various high-pitched squeals from the children surrounding him. One would think he would be used to it by now, being exposed every holiday, weekend, birthday, and celebration, but it never really got better; though, it certainly did get old.

Family gatherings were somewhat of a common occurrence in the Weasley-Potter household.

"I need some help in the kitchen!" Ginny called.

James glanced around to see who would go. All of the kids were touching their noses and looking at him.

"I could pull seniority, you know," James said, though he was already standing up.

Albus grinned, saying "One does not simply pull rank in a game of 'Not It.'"

Just as James entered the kitchen, there was a scream of, "Teddy's here!" and James just sighed. The 26-year-old, seven years his senior, was much too busy for James, his supposed 'best friend,' in recent years. Ever since becoming a Healer, he had been too busy to see James. Not to mention that as soon as James graduated, Teddy had been even more distant.

Maybe Teddy finally knew the truth about James. Maybe he was disgusted. Maybe he was worried that it was him James was interested in…and maybe he was right.

Ginny snapped in front of his face, a look of annoyance on her face. "Really, James, you've got to stop retreating into your own head for so long. People will take advantage of that."

James didn't bother to ask what she meant by that. "Sorry, mum," he mumbled before levitating a few pots and dishes to the dining room with a flick of his wand.

As soon as James entered the living room, his eyes found Teddy, and his heart clenched, because if he hadn't been sure he was in love with Teddy Lupin before, he was sure now.

There the man stood with a line of his younger cousins before him, waiting to be thrown up in the hair and caught by him. A huge smile was on his face, and he laughed along with the children, chatting idly to Lily and Dominique as he did so.

He had never looked so handsome. Brown hair, golden eyes, and all.

Their eyes connected, and neither man looked away until Teddy smiled, the look in his eyes making James melt.

You're acting like a girl, Potter, James reminded himself. Be a man.

Because, of course, being gay didn't give him a free pass to swoon like a twelve-year-old girl.

James stepped forward and pulled Teddy into a short, tight embrace, saying, "it's nice to see you, Ted," before pulling away. He refused to linger and give himself a sense of false hope.

"Hi, James," Teddy replied softly, gaze falling to the ground.

"Teddy," Roxie said, lifting up her arms expectantly.

Instead of throwing her up in the air, Teddy sat and pulled her onto his lap. "Let's take a break, shall we?"

James, against his better judgment, sat next to Teddy, who put an arm around his shoulders in a brotherly manner.

"Tell me about work," Teddy said to James. Roxie groaned, because adult conversations were boring.

James grinned and ruffled Roxie's hair.

"I'm a journalist, Teddy, there's not much to tell."

Something about what he said made Teddy's smile widen, and that made James' heart race.


"Okay, so we're here for some announcements," Ginny said, spooning another helping of mashed potatoes on Molly II's plate. "Who's first?"

Victoire stood. "I'm engaged."

James' mouth fell open and he turned to Teddy who was sitting in the seat beside him. How could this be happening?

Relief washed over him as Teddy shook his head once and put a hand on his thigh, squeezing once before releasing him. It wasn't for long, though, as Teddy soon moved his hand to his knee, rubbing random patterns there with his thumb.

Everyone clapped and whooped and Fleur looked so full of pride she might burst at any moment. "Tell me, eez eet Theodore?"

Teddy laughed good-naturedly, as did Victiore. "Non, maman," she giggled. "It's to a man I work with. He is an auror in France, and I'm sure you will love him."

Fleur clapped her hands. "A Frenchman!" she cried. "Très bien!"

After the laughed died down, Al stood up. "I'm moving out," he said, and turned to his father and mother solemnly. "And I am so sorry I'm leaving you alone with Lily."

"Hey!" Lily cried, crossing her arms over her chest. "In case you haven't noticed, I'm their favorite."

Al snorted, rolling his eyes. "Yeah, right."

Dominique stood up next. "I'm seeing a muggle man."

Everyone stared at her in surprise, before Louis snickered. "He's going to be in for one heluva surprise when your first-born sneezes sparks and levetates, then, won't he?"

Domi sighed. "Be serious, you imbecile."

After that, no one stood. Just as Ginny was about to say something, James finished his Firewhiskey in one gulp, stood, and said, "I'm gay."

Silence. Absolute silence.

No one said anything.

"I…" James said, looking down at his plate. "I'll just…"

And with that, he turned on the spot and disappeared with a crack!


"Shit. Shit. Fuck." Teddy growled, punching a wall.

Everyone stared.

"How could you do that?" Teddy demanded. "How could you just stare at him like that? Not say anything? How hard is it to say, 'Oh, James, you're family, that doesn't change anything,' or, 'it's okay, Jamie, we love you'?"

Teddy was furious.

"Shit," Harry finally said, standing. "We have to go find him."

"Damn right we do," Teddy snarled, startling everyone even more. Never in his life had Theodore Lupin said anything of the sort to his godfather.

Harry let it slide, because he knew how serious the situation was. There was no telling what James would do. He had heard many a horror story of what children did after coming out to their parents, some ending in suicide.

"I'll check his apartment," Harry said. "Albus, check the office. Bill, try the gym. Teddy…you'll know anywhere else to look."

But Teddy was already mid-turn, nodding once as he apparated from the room.


Teddy wasn't sure how, but he was certain that he knew where James had disappeared to.

Using his key, he opened the door to his flat and sighed with relief when he entered the kitchen to find James on the countertop, legs dangling as he knocked back more firewhiskey.

"What are you doing here?" Teddy asked.

James shrugged, reaching beside him for the bottle.

"You know, that stuff isn't cheap," Teddy said, eyeing the bottle that he knew to be his own.

James grinned, handing it to Teddy, who gulped down some of the burning liquid.

Teddy leaned against the island opposite him, rolling the nearly-empty bottle between his hands. He was nervous.

"I'm sorry," Teddy finally said.

"Go on," James responded, not really knowing what Teddy was on about.

Teddy took another sip of the whiskey. "I've been…distant."

James snorted, and leaned forward for the bottle. "More like nonexistent."

"I know," Teddy replied, and gulped down more of the drink before passing it back to James. "And I'm sorry. It's just…I was afraid."

James paused before taking another sip. "Afraid of what?"

"Afraid…" Teddy cleared his throat. "Of what I'll find if you and I talk tonight."

"Tonight?" James cocked an eyebrow. "We've barely spoken for two years, and it's all about tonight?"

"All of this is coming out wrong," Teddy shook his head. "It's something that I've been wanting to say to you for a very long time."

James only nodded, gesturing for him to continue.

"No one cares that you're gay," Teddy said. He didn't mean to sound insensitive, but it was true. "They didn't care that I was bisexual, either."

James' eyes widened in surprise. "You like blokes?"

Teddy laughed. "Couldn't you tell?"

"So my dad..." James started. "My dad was fine. He still treated you like a son, and the rest of the family like you're one of our own."

Teddy nodded. "Now you know about me...I have something to say. You see, I'm in love with someone."

Eyes on the floor, James nodded.

"The problem isn't you, it's me. I know, I can tell I've been pushing you away," Teddy said, finding it hard to meet James' soulful hazel eyes, yet somehow managing. "I only have myself to blame."

James gulped. A part of him knew where this was going, but another part entirely refused to believe, to get his hopes up. It would be too good to be real, to be true.

"I can't live without you," Teddy said in a rush. "And I was wondering if you think we could start again. Because I've spent years mucking this up when I should have been telling you how I feel."

James slipped off the counter so he was closer to eye level with Teddy.

"Are you trying to tell me that…?"

Teddy nodded. "I've been wanting you for years. And I know it's wrong. And as soon as you came of age, it was harder, because at that point I knew we could be together, but we shouldn't. Because you're just starting your life, and I'm…I'm too old for you."

James rolled his eyes. "You're daft if you think you can get rid of me now."

Teddy was about to speak again, but James' lips on his silenced him.

"I love you," James finally said.

Teddy grinned. "I love you, too."

James laughed. "Now kiss me, you fool."


A/N: I don't even know how this happened, but I hope you like it.