Hi! Thanks for viewing!
Enjoy!
Matthew simply sat on his bed, staring blankly at the wall opposite. Every now and then he'd glance hopefully out of his window, thinking perhaps there'd be a pigeon, fooling himself into thinking he'd heard the familiar "tap-tap" of a beak on glass. Two weeks, five days, seven hours, 29 minutes. That's how long it had been.
He looked to his desk, to the pile of letters he had gone over again and again. He'd read each and every one constantly since she had stopped replying, wondering if maybe she'd hinted at him angering her or saying something, but he couldn't find anything to say so. He couldn't find a word to hint at anything being wrong, either.
He'd considered travelling to Belinsk himself to see if something had happened, but he couldn't abandon the cabin now. Besides, maybe she was travelling to him as a surprise right now! That'd be a great surprise, right? Wait… no, she was probably just neck deep in royal affairs since becoming queen, yeah that was it. She probably had hundreds of things to write and sign and talk about, he could wait.
Or maybe something HAD happened. Maybe she was sick. Maybe she had been injured during the reconstruction efforts, she was taking an active role in them after all. Maybe there was a revolt or invasion and she was imprisoned or worse! No, no she was fine, but then again if she-
TAP-TAP.
The sound made his head snap around to look at the window again and before he knew it he was on his feet opening it. The pigeon was here at last, and it had a letter tied around its leg! A response, finally! He knew he was being silly. She was fine as always.
He gently patted the bird, taking the letter from its leg before letting it hop in to eat at the birdseed he kept nearby for it. With great haste he untied and unrolled the letter, eager to hear what his love had to say.
Disappointment stabbed him as he glanced at the handwriting, it wasn't Sveta's beautiful script. He didn't recognise it at all! Quickly he pored over each word, growing more and more worried as he read down.
"Sveta…" He mumbled as he read the signature at the bottom of the letter. It had been sent by Vande, that musician from Belinsk.
According to the letter no one had even seen Sveta for the past two weeks. No word, no appearance, nothing. She had locked herself in her chambers and refused to speak to anyone. Without another thought, he hastily tossed some travelling gear together and rushed downstairs with his bag and sword.
He shoved the letter in his father's face with no more than a word and rushed out through the door, only a quick "Matthew!" following him before it died out on the wind. He ran, his legs moving faster and faster kicking up the dust of the plateau all around him as he advanced toward Patcher's Place. It was already so late, and he would be foolish to camp after running, the inn would be best.
With every step Sveta was at the forefront of his mind. Tomorrow he would not rest at all, he would run all day, breeze past any monsters not wanting to put up with their delays. He would only stop when the sun was half-set the next evening before camping, if he hadn't reached an inn.
Days blurred past him, all he could see was Sveta, and eventually he was crossing the threshold of Belinsk's gates, being welcomed by the guards stationed there. Vande was standing at the centre at the centre of the square and was quick to notice Matthew, sweaty, dirty, cut, and exhausted, advancing toward him.
"Matthew, I didn't expect you so soon, I th-"
"Where's Sveta?" He asked, continuing along toward the palace with Vande following behind.
"You should really try and clean up bef-"
"Where is she?" Matthew repeated with more urgency.
"Still locked in her quarters, but you shoul-"
That was all Matthew needed and his quick pace increased yet again to a run. The guards of the palace offered no questions, having already been under orders to allow any of the warriors who had been with Sveta into the palace no matter what.
He hurried through the expansive halls, racking his brain to remember the fastest way to her chambers, passing attendants who offered him worried words and glances as he flew past. His pace only slowed when he could see the doors to the queen's chambers.
He paused, his hand caught halfway toward knocking against the wood. What was he supposed to say now? What was he supposed to do? He was so preoccupied with just getting here and seeing her that he had put no thought toward actually helping.
Gently, he placed his hand against the door, moving closer to it.
"Sveta?" He called out softly, "Sveta? It's Matthew. I'm here for you."
He pressed his ear against the door, listening for any sign of her. She could be unconscious if she hadn't eaten at all. After a full minute without any response he spoke up again.
"I'm coming in, okay?" He said softly, waiting a few seconds before turning the doorknob. It caught halfway, obviously locked from within. With a quick flash of Psynergy, the wood shifted and the lock clicked.
The door creaked loudly as it opened inch by inch, letting the light of the hall pour in to the dark and dank room Sveta was hiding in.
"Sveta?" He called out hesitantly as he stepped in, eyes doing their best to adjust to the darkness and find her, "Sveta?"
A faint groan from the corner of the room had Matthew rushing toward it, taking the limp queen into his arms.
"Sveta." He said hurriedly, shaking the unresponsive queen. Her fur was entirely matted and stank of sweat and the unwashed musk of the dark room. Gods, how long had she been like this? "Sveta!" he said loudly, shaking her more vigorously.
A few groans escaped her before her eyes slowly opened, the whites bloodshot and shining with moisture. They immediately went wide and Sveta did her best to struggle out of Matthew's grip, wriggling away a few steps.
"Mathew, what are you doing here?" Her voice was so dry, so hoarse and cracked, he barely recognised it.
"I hadn't heard fr-"
"Leave. Now." She demanded, turning away from him, her voice cracking with each word, breaths coming harder and faster from her with each passing second.
"Sveta, what's-"
"Go!" She cried, and Matthew could hear the emotion ripping its way through her throat and out of her mouth.
He simply stood up and wrapped his arms around her. He nuzzled his cheek against hers and squeezed her tight. She tightened up, remaining stock still as Matthew hugged her, wrapping her up in his warmth.
After a few moments of the warm embrace Sveta finally cracked, her voice choked out of her once, twice, and a third time, before her body began to rack with sobs and tears began to stream unhindered down her cheeks.
Matthew continued to hold her tight as she shook in his embrace, simply holding her close and letting the brunt of her emotions break free before he dared ask anything.
"I'm sorry." She blubbered, the words being broken by ragged sobs and pants for air, "I'm so sorry."
"Shhh…" Matthew whispered tenderly, rubbing a hand comfortingly along her arm and placing a gentle kiss against her cheek.
She continued to voice sobbing apologies into the air, "I just can't, it's so much, a-and I just can't do it."
Matthew didn't know what she was apologising for, or what she was referring to at all, but he continued to simply hug her tight. Gently, he started to turn the two of them until her face was pressed into his chest, her words mumbling against him as she cried.
Minutes passed and Sveta's tears eventually ebbed, her voice broken and lost as she simply rested against the Venus Adept holding her. Softly, Matthew kissed the crown of the girl's head.
"Sveta, I don't know what's happened, but I'm here for you. We can talk about it. I want to help."
Sveta merely nodded weakly, barely, incapable of saying anything. The two of them just continued to hold the other before Matthew slowly led her to sit on the edge of her bed.
"What's wrong?" He asked tenderly after fishing through his pack to offer the exhausted queen some water and meat.
"I can't." She whispered, all her voice could allow, "I can't be queen. It's too hard… there's so much." Fresh tears began to squeeze out of the corners of the girl's eyes, "So many people… so much wrong. I'm useless."
"No." Matthew responded softly, reaching forward and wiping the tears from her fur before cupping her cheek, "No, you're not. You can do this, you are strong and amazing."
Sveta opened her mouth, the beginnings of a protest and a headshake coming forth before Matthew pressed on.
"Things always get difficult. We all need help sometimes, you just need to ask." He weaved his free hand into one of Sveta's squeezing it tenderly, "Remember our quest? Remember how lost all of us felt at some point or another? You're not alone, Sveta, you never will be."
"But-"
"I promise." Matthew smiled, full and sincere, gently rubbing a thumb back and forth over Sveta's cheek, "It might not get better right now, or any time soon, but I promise it will. You can do this."
She seemed like she wanted to protest, to argue him, to say that it was too much and that she had tried and failed already, but looking at his smile and loving blue eyes she just couldn't. Not that her voice would allow her anyway.
She simply nodded weakly again, cuddling back into Matthew's embrace, letting all of the emotion still within her flow out as she was held. They stayed like that for some time, possibly more than an hour as Matthew continued to whisper encouragement to her, before finding she had fallen asleep.
He smiled sombrely, working a Cure through her system, hoping it would help in some way. He picked her up gently, setting her back into the chair he had found her in, before going around the room cleaning.
He gathered up each and every dirty item of clothing strewn about the room, shuffling in and out of the room depositing them in a basket to be washed. He pulled the curtains open slightly, thankfully the sun was nearly set so not much light was allowed in which would disturb the sleeping queen. He swung the window open, allowing fresh air in for the first time in who knew how long.
He gathered up scrunched papers, quills, inks and other writing materials, depositing them neatly in a drawer before wiping down all that had been spilt and dried into the desk. Finally he remade the bed, the stagnant stiff covers of the bed being replaced with fresh, clean, warm sheets.
Satisfied, Matthew picked up the dozing queen again, resting her into the comfy embrace of her freshly made bed. Planting a kiss on her forehead, he whispered a tender "Goodnight" to her, before dozing off in her chair as he watched her sleep.
Matthew awoke groggily the next morning, the effects of the days of travel finally hitting him once he reached his destination. Sunlight shone across his face, making him shy away from it as he adjusted to the waking world.
Memory reached him and he immediately glanced over at the bed, sighing in relief as Sveta's still sleeping form met his eyes. He smiled, allowing the growl of his stomach to go unnoticed, he continued to watch her, moving to sit on the edge of her bed, just within arm's reach.
Sveta's eyes opened after a half hour or so, but instead of a smile or anything Matthew was expecting, as soon as she saw him she threw her arm over her eyes and turned onto her side away from him. Fresh sobs reached his ears not a moment later.
"Sveta?" He asked, shuffling closer to her.
She shook her head into her arm, murmuring a "Don't look at me".
He moved closer still, reaching out and gently rubbing her side, "Sveta, it's okay. I promise, it'll be okay."
It took several minutes, but eventually he managed to calm her down and get her out of bed. She stared listlessly out of the open window to the city and her people below. Idly, Matthew wondered when the last time she had looked out the window was.
"C'mon, Sveta, let's get you washed and changed." He said softly, his hands resting on her shoulders.
She nodded again, allowing herself to be guided toward the bathroom.
"Do you want me to leave?" Matthew asked, addressing the obvious awkwardness that would arise from him seeing her nude.
He received no response for nearly a minute before Sveta merely shook her head, still standing and staring blankly at her reflection in the mirror barely recognising the face she saw in it.
Matthew nodded in return and helped her out of her clothes as he ran a bath for her. It took several minutes to undo several of the tightened knots in the fasteners of her attire, worm her out of them, and help her into the filled bath.
He started with her head, working soaps into her incredibly tangled hair, working through the frayed and matted braids. It took a lot of work with how bad they were, but eventually her hair was flowing naturally down her back once more, the knots and dead hairs discarded.
He continued, humming a happy tune to the girl as his hands worked out any patches of matted fur and he scrubbed down her entire body, removing layers of sweat and dirt from her. He took each limb in hand, working his fingers through them, lathering them and washing them down until the fur shone.
Eventually, Matthew asked her to stand, and helped her to do so, before pulling the plug and letting the water drain away. Turning on the shower he tested the water until it was warm enough and finally rinsed off the pretty girl in front of him, being rid of any residual suds or dirt.
Smiling, he held his hand out to her, helping her step onto the towel on the tiled floor. He took a towel in hand and started to vigorously dry her out, leaving her fur fluffed out and fresh when he was done.
He smiled, helping her into a fresh pair of clothes before turning her to look in the mirror again.
"There, see? Feel better?" He asked, smiling to her in her reflection.
Sveta nodded, the slightest of smiles on her lips, "Thank you."
Matthew's smile brightened and he took her hand in his, "Let's get you some food, okay?"
She nodded again, the small smile still on her lips as she walked with Matthew to the dining room. She shied away from all the fascinated gazes of the people in the palace as she walked, answering any questions or words they had for her with a simple nod or shake of her head.
The food was delicious, and though she only ate a small portion of it, despite Matthew's words that she should eat as much as she could, she felt much better with food in her belly.
Then, came the part she dreaded: royal affairs. Her vassals had thankfully handled most of her duties during her… absence. Still, the very thought of going back to the very thing that had driven her to hideaway from everything and shut out everyone made her breathing and heart-rate increase rapidly.
Matthew was with her all the way, and was able to clear a room whenever it became too much for her and she broke down, fresh tears running fast. Even doing simple things seemed like so much, a simple signature was deciding future for hundreds of people. How could her people ever trust her?
Matthew simply held her and told her she was strong and that she could do anything she put her mind to. It took some time, but eventually all her affairs were dealt with and she was brought to dinner with Matthew. More food improved her mood and helped her forget about all the work and tears shed because of it.
Eventually the day came to an end and she retired for the night, this time asking Matthew to sleep beside her and keep her safe.
And the morning came again, as did the fears and the tears, but Matthew helped her again. Every day was another challenge, another rocky road to recovery and conquering the anxiety of ruling her people yet again.
Matthew was there with her for every minute of it though, every day he would help her, by making her eat, or holding her when it all came crashing down around her, or comforting her as she slept.
A week later, Tyrell and Karis came to visit, and the attendants gave her a day off to enjoy it with her friends, which greatly helped. A few days after, when Tyrell and Karis had returned to the cabin,
Amiti visited. Having a friend who was going through the same troubles as her helped, but also made her feel insecure, for he had not broken down.
It took a few weeks, but eventually, Sveta no longer needed Matthew to accompany her to her duties or hold her hand, because she was no longer breaking down. She no longer felt helpless or useless in her duties.
When at last she realised this, she hugged Matthew so tight, planting her lips onto his.
"Thank you." She said, so full of love and glee, "Thank you so much."
"Anytime." Matthew smiled, pecking her on the lips again.
"I love you." She said, blushing profusely. It was not the first time she had said it, nor would it be the last, but this time the words carried so much meaning.
"And I you."
Things would still be hard and she knew she may struggle and fall again, one bad enough day could bring it all back. But she knew Matthew and her friends would be there by her side to help her through all of it.
She wasn't alone.
She could do this.
Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed!
Your friend and writer,
Droory
