QLFC Round 2 – Where Are We Going?

Captain: Gambol and Japes.


The Old Classics

Zachary Power had never been the type of man to take life too seriously. When he was at Hogwarts, he was frequently in trouble for pulling pranks and sneaking down to the kitchens after dark—something his housemates did not think fitting of a Ravenclaw, even if he still excelled in his studies and earned back all the points he lost. That was why, despite getting the grades necessary for a high-ranking Ministry job, he had decided to open a joke shop when he graduated.

He wandered around the store, dusting the shelves of the lesser purchased items before he opened his doors. It was earlier than he usually did this—only just half past seven—but that was because he had an important meeting before he opened for what was the start of the busiest period for all shopkeepers on Diagon Alley. The Hogwarts letters had been sent out the day before, and not long after he had heard the news, Zachary had penned a letter to the Weasley twins asking to meet with Fred and George before they opened up the following day.

Gambol and Japes had been doing well enough over the past few years, but even before Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes had opened, it was beginning to decline. When the rival store opened, sales had hit an all-time low, but over the course of the last year they had evened out to something Zachary could live off. However, with the start of Hogwarts looming closer, he could only worry that students would choose to visit the newer, fancier store over his.

There was a knock at the door and Zachary set down his rag on the counter as two redheaded men—though they were still mere boys compared to Zachary—entered the shop.

"Mornin' Zach," they greeted in unison, both extending their hands. Zachary extended his own and shook each of their hands.

He watched as Fred picked up a Fanged Frisbee from the shelf, a grin on his face that reminded Zachary of when the twins were younger and would buy almost half of the shop's entire stock.

"So, what was so urgent that we had to get up at the crack of dawn to meet you?" George asked. He winked as if to let Zachary know that he was joking, but he needn't have bothered—Zach had seen these boys come into his shop year after year since they started Hogwarts and he was familiar with the nuances of their speech.

Zachary scratched his head nervously. "It's silly, really, probably just the worries of an old man, but I can't help thinking the students will all decide to visit your store over mine. It's new and better looking from the outside, and you know how easily swayed the minds of children are."

Fred laughed, finally putting the Fanged Frisbee down. "Never!"

"Fred's right," George agreed. "Your shop is a classic. It's a staple of all Hogwarts goers. Alas, we could never let it fall prey to the whims of students."

"I'm sure you had something in mind, Zach," Fred prompted.

"Actually, yes." Zachary coughed, suddenly nervous at the idea of striking up a deal with the pair that he couldn't help but feel inferior to. "You're greater wizards than I am." Fred tried to interject, but Zachary spoke over him. "Don't try to deny it—you were inventing your own products while still in school; the only thing I invented was a ball that turns into a random animal for five minutes when you throw it, and nobody ever buys it."

"We bought a few," George jumped in.

"Several, actually. They were a handy distraction when we were planning bigger pranks."

"All right," Zachary conceded, "but nobody else buys them. The point is, I rely on the sale of the old classic items to keep my store afloat and, well, you two have your own creations to aid you."

"So you were wondering if you could have a few?" Fred asked, his voice serious but the smile on his face giving away his true feelings.

"Of course I wasn't!" Zach felt his heart race at the suggestion.

Fred burst into laughter once more.

"We know you have more integrity than to steal our ideas," George reassured him. "If you want to keep the classics as your own, then that's fine by us."

"More than fine, actually," Fred confirmed. "We insist you keep them. We'll even promote your store for free. It is, after all, where we began our trade—we could have never done half the things we've achieved without your products."

The twins' smiles were so wide and their words so genuine that Zachary felt his eyes begin to water.

"You don't have to do that, boys."

"No, we don't, but we want to, old man," Fred said, putting an arm around Zachary's shoulders.

"Anyway," George said suddenly. "We have some planning to do."

As soon as the words left George's mouth, Fred's arm moved from around Zach's shoulders, and the pair made their way out of the shop.

"Later, Zach," they chimed as the door swung shut behind them.


Zachary couldn't believe it; over the course of the morning, his store grew busier than any time in recent memory. Of course, his sales weren't as high as they were when Fred and George were at Hogwarts, and certainly not as high as when the Marauders were, but at the rate they were increasing, Zachary would be able to afford the holiday to New Zealand he had been dreaming of by the end of the year.

He watched as both new and returning students dragged parents and friends into the store, picking up everything from Dr. Filibuster's Fireworks to decks of Exploding Snap. One student came in three times in the space of two hours and even bought one of Zachary's own products. The joy on each face discovering both new and old favourites was enough to bring a tear to Zachary's eye once more that day.

At noon, Zachary stepped out for lunch, visiting Florean Fortescue's on his way back for his usual toffee and strawberry double scoop cone. The walk back to his shop took him past Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes, where two new large posters adorned the front windows. The first was a notice informing customers that they would no longer be selling the 'classic' items, which would henceforth only be available at Gambol and Japes. It was the second, however, that left Zachary stunned. It was a large, animated poster that shouted to anyone that walked past: "Special Promotion!" The text on the poster read: "One free Skiving Snackbox for anyone that provides proof of purchasing one or more items from Gambol and Japes."

Zachary hurried back to his shop and practically ran into the back room, slamming the door behind him as his breath caught in his throat. Never in his wildest dreams had he ever imagined the Weasleys would be this generous. The thought did cross his mind that students were being bribed to visit his own shop, but he knew Fred and George would never have meant it to come across that way.

He sank into his chair, elbows resting on his desk as his head fell into his hands. Maybe it's time I retire, he thought, his eyes closing as he reflected on the day so far.

After a moment, Zachary rose and lifted a bottle of Firewhiskey from the cabinet, a smile resting on his face as he poured himself a glass. Fred and George had created more footfall for his store in a single morning than ever before, and for that, he could only be grateful.

"To Fred and George," he announced, raising his glass in a toast. "The true pioneers of the joke business."

Zachary finished his drink and went back into the store, flicking his wand at the door to open it. There was a spring in his step as he served customers for the rest of the day. He couldn't imagine what his life would be like when he no longer worked in Gambol and Japes, but as soon as he could afford the trip to New Zealand, he was leaving Diagon Alley's joke industry in the trusted hands of Fred and George.


Word Count: 1,373.


This is for;

The Choose-Your-Wand Challenge;
Length 13-14 inches – min 1250 words.