A/N: This was originally going to be a one shot. My original plan wasn't well received and I value my life. So, the ending to this story will be in the second chapter once I am happy with it. Enjoy!

Alex Benson-Cabot stared out of the window of the top floor of her brownstone. A year ago her wife Olivia left for what was supposed to be a six month long tour to Iraq. A tour which had turned into a year. Alex was waiting for her to hear the words 'I'm not coming' come from Olivia's lips once again. This time, things were different. It wasn't just Alex that Olivia was leaving behind. Her last tour was well over five years ago and in that time Alex had given birth to a little girl. Katherine Serena Benson-Cabot was a four year old spitting image of her mother. She picked up so many of her mama's mannerisms and especially her attitude. The little 3 and a half foot tall blonde was a firecracker that was for sure, to her mother's she would always be their Katie Bug. So many things she did, reminded Alex of her wife constantly. At the point, all she wanted was to hear Olivia's voice.

The time between their conversations were getting longer and longer. She was lucky to get a skype call once a month. Sometimes the skype calls were faster than the letters they would write back and forth. Alex treasured each and every one. The blonde woman brushed the few tears that fell as she thought about the day she dropped Olivia off for her deployment. This was to be her last, and the shortest. The army never did do things quite as planned.

"I can't believe that you're really going back over there." Alex said sadly as she pulled into Fort Hamilton. She shook the whole way there.

"This is the last time baby, I promise. Then when I get back home I will be discharged. As soon as this mission is over, I'll be back with you and Katie. No more leaving."Olivia gave Alex's hand a gentle yet firm squeeze.

Neither one were wanting to talk about the negative outcome that could very well happen. They made a promise to try and stay positive, even if it was constantly there in their minds.

Alex drew in a shaky breath before they exited the car. She wasn't ready to say goodbye again.

"Hey, stop. Look at me." Olivia always could tell what was going through Alex's mind. She could read her like a book even if she was trying to mask it. "I'll be home before you know it. You and Katie are going to have me back soon."

Wordlessly, Alex pulled Olivia to her and wrapped her arms tightly around her. The tears stung her eyes as they threatened to fall.

"I love you."

"I love you too. I promise to come home safe."

Alex shuddered at the thought of that day. Olivia should have been home by now. They should be together not half way across the world from each other. Looking up in the sky the blonde sighed. She missed her wife more than anything.

"Mommy!" Alex was pulled from her thoughts as she heard the door open and the sound of Katie running up the stairs. Following her in came Alex's good friend, Casey Novak.

"Hey bug!" The blonde quickly wiped away her tears and hugged the little girl tight. "Thanks for going to get her for me."

"Don't worry about it. We would have been here sooner, but little miss Katie left her doll in her cubby at school."

"Leaving mommy for the weekend?" Alex mused as she looked over at the younger blonde as she hugged the plush doll that Olivia got her before she left. It was a small doll that had an image of Olivia in uniform. That way Katie always had her near her.

"NEVER!" Katie's eyes went wide as she shook her head. "I didn't mean to leave mommy!"

"I know baby."

"I miss mommy." Katie looked at her doll sadly.

"I miss her too." Alex felt her heart drop to her stomach. She closed her eyes and said a quick prayer. She wasn't sure how was going to get through this on her own much longer.

"Have you heard from her lately?" Casey leaned up against the wall watching Alex.

"Not since last week. It was a five minute phone call. Things are supposed to be getting but over there! They are supposed to be withdrawing the troops not keeping them even longer, Case! I'm scared more and more every day. I got a letter from her this morning but haven't brought myself to read it. She sent one for Katie too; she'll be more than happy to have me read to her. I'm just struggling to hold on. She was only supposed to go for a short period of time and now it has doubled and I don't know what I am going to do if it triples." Alex talked in a hush tone but Casey could hear the pain in her voice.

"She'll come home to you. Just a couple more months, Al."

Alex just simply nodded and sighed.

"I'll call you tomorrow and check on you." The red head pulled Alex into a hug. Katie ran to her and wrapped her small arms around her.

"Katie bug mama sent you a letter." Alex smiled when the small child's eyes instantly lit up.

"Really!?" Katie jumped up excitedly. "Come on mama we got to read your letter!" The child grabbed her plushy and ran to her mother.

"Let's go get it. It's in the living room." The older woman couldn't even get her sentence out before she was being dragged by her daughter.

With a shaky breath Alex opened the envelope and scanned the letter.

"Hey Katie bug!

I miss you and your mommy so much. You're probably sitting there curled up with your mommy unable to contain your excitement. Bouncing around happier than ever. I know you and mommy don't like me being away for so long, and neither do I bug. I'll be home soon though! Then me, you, and your mommy can be together forever again. I promise not to leave again baby. I know sometimes you don't understand why I'm away and I wish I could explain it to you more. I hope you understand it when you eventually get a little bit older. I do what I do to make sure you and mommy are safe at home. So everyone can stay safe. But before you know it I'm gonna be home. Keep being good for mommy Katie. I'm sure she appreciates it. You're growing up so fast and I can't wait to hug you again. Give your mommy a kiss for me and sneak in a tickle too. I love you baby girl.

Mama"

Alex tried to keep her tears back but was struggling. Opening her eyes she was greeted by two other blue orbs. Katie wrapped her arms around her and smiled.

"It's okay mommy! Mama will be home soon! She said so! Then you won't have to be sad anymore."

"I know Katie bug." Alex gave the little girl a small smile.

"Mama told me to do this." Katie smiled as she kissed her mother and playfully tickled her.

"You're right, she did." Alex sat there laughing and picked up Katie and held her close. "I love you."

"Love you too mommy!" Katie jumped off her mother's lap and ran to her toys.

Alex folded the small letter and put in on the desk. She would read hers that night.

"God Liv, I need you home." Alex stood in their bedroom staring at the pictures that covered the white walls. Curling into a ball on Olivia's side of the bed, Alex brought the old gray t-shirt to her face and took in the lingering smell of Olivia. It was slowing starting to fade away, just as Alex's resolve to hold on.

Drying her tears, Alex got off the bed and went to check on her little girl who had fallen asleep a little before.

"You sleep just like your mama." Alex said aloud looking at their little girl in the dim light coming from the hall. She smiled through the tears once she saw Katie's mommy doll was now tucked securely in her little arms. She didn't know if she could hold on much longer.

As Alex made her way into the living room to get her letter she was pulled from her thoughts by the sound of her phone going off. Checking the time on the clock she furrowed her eyebrows. No one usually calls this late. Grabbing her phone she took a deep breath as she recognized the first three numbers.

"Liv?" Alex answered as fast as her fingers would let her.

"Baby." Olivia breathed out.

Just the single word that escaped Olivia's mouth made Alex's tears start flowing once again.

"I'm coming home."

"You're really coming home?"

"Yes Alex. I'm coming back to you and Katie. We're leaving the barracks at nightfall."

"I always thought the next call would be you saying you're staying again." Alex sobbed out.

"Shh baby. I'll be home in a few days. I better have my girls waiting for me."

"Always babe. How are you getting to call me?" Alex ran her hands through her hair.

"I had my last favor to use. I'll get another short phone call when I get back on home land. I love you Alex."

"I love you too." Alex was trying to hold a fresh wave of tears back.

"I have to go baby. Kiss Katie for me."

It felt like having to hang up was worse than waiting for any form of contact.

Nodding her head, even though Olivia couldn't see it Alex finally let the words slip out. "I know."

"I'll be home soon baby. I love you."

"And I'll see you then. Bye beautiful. I love you."

For the first time, Alex went to sleep with a smile on her face in a while. Her wife was really coming home.


Alex walked out of her office to find her coworkers crowded around a television in the conference room. Walking her face paled and she saw the headline. There was a convoy attacked and multiple IED's were set off. There weren't expected to be any survivors.

"No. no no no!" Alex felt all of breath leave her and she stood still staring ahead of her.

"Alex." The blonde was pulled from her trance by Liz Donnely. "Come on, Alex." The older woman lead her into her office and closed the door.

"You don't know it's her Alex."

"But I do. I have the gut feeling. They were leaving today. That was her company!" Alex was shaking as her sobs washed over her. She couldn't believe it. She was so close to having Olivia back and she was ripped away just like that.

You don't know for sure Alex. You can't give up hope just like that."

Alex sat in her living room that night after Liz got her home. Katie went to stay with Casey for the night. Jumping slightly, Alex heard a knock at the door.

Swallowing hard she opened it to reveal a uniformed military officer. She knew instantly what he was going to say.

"Alexandra Benson- Cabot?"

Alex just nodded staring at the man.

"I'm Lieutenant Matthew Sander ma'am. Normally we would just notify you via a telephone call, but this instance is a little different. May I come in?"

Alex realized she hadn't stepped aside to allow him to enter. She had yet to even utter a word.

"She's gone isn't she?" She could barely get the words out.

"Ma'am your wife was one of two that survived a multiple IED ambush earlier today in Iraq."

Alex let out a breath and sobbed into her hands as she heard the words that came out of the stranger's mouth.

"Sh- she's alive?"

"Yes ma'am. She is being transported to a military hospital in Germany as soon as she is stable. I don't know the extent of her injuries. You and your daughter are being granted clearance to go to her."

"We get to see her?"

"Yes ma'am. No one knows exactly how long she will be there. I advise you to make some plans early in the morning. I will be in contact with you tomorrow before noon."

Alex couldn't wrap her head around what was going on. She had gone from thinking her wife was dead to knowing she was barely hanging on to her life.

Glancing at the clock she didn't care of the time. She grabbed her phone and made plans. She was going to her wife.


"Mommy needs to talk to you Katie Bug." Alex kneeled down in front of her daughter as she walking into Casey's apartment.

"We're gonna go away for a little bit okay? We're gonna go see mama but mama is really sick. So when we eventually get there you're going to have to be really good, okay?"

"Okay mommy. Is mama going to be okay?" The pain and multiple questions showed in her daughter's eyes.

Alex closed her eyes and sighed. "Your mama is so strong and brave Katie. She'll come back home with us. Now go grab your bag so I can talk to Aunt Casey really quick."

After the little girl ran out of ear shot, Alex looked up at the red head. "What if I just lied to our daughter?"

"You just said it yourself. She's Strong Alex. There is no way she's not going to be back here causing hell again."

All Alex could do was nod her head. "I can't lose you now Olivia." She looked upward and felt her eyes swell once again.

"You left me for a year, you can't leave me forever. It's not just me anymore!" Alex let out what little bit of anger she had in her come out.

"She's not leaving Alex. The road to recovery could be long and hard but you know as well as I do, she will fight. You just have to be there for her. You're allowed to break. You're allowed to be frustrated but just remember everything you are felling, it's double for her. You both will have people here when you get back. Neither of you are alone and you can get through this." Casey put her hands on Alex's shoulders as she spoke.

"Thank you." Alex barely whispered as she saw Katie slowly walk into the room. Drying her tears quickly she smiled at the little girl.

"Come on Katie Bug. We need to get back to the house. Lieutenant Sander is picking us up and taking us to the airport."

A/N: I would have had you guys out for my blood if I finished it when I wanted. And many of you probably already are seeing as how Stay With Me hasn't been updated in months... I have no excuses except my lack of motivation and writers block. I'm sorry.